Woody Allen Bangs Head While Filming in England

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Veteran filmmaker Woody Allen has injured his head on the English set of his new movie after forgetting to duck as the boat he was on went under a pier. The 70-year-old director/actor was filming alongside Ewan Mcgregor, and Hayley Atwell, when he smashed his head so hard on England’s Brighton Pier he was thrown to the deck of the vessel.

Allen’s co-stars on the currently-untitled movie immediately jumped to his aid. He then held an ice pack to his wound. Later, Allen’s concerned wife Soon-Yi was seen examining his injury.

As old as Woody Allen is he could develop a subdural hematoma, which could be very serious.

I had no idea Woody Allen was a head banger.

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Scarlett Johansson is Viagra for Woody Allen

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Woody Allen (800 years old) is making the movie Match Point. To star opposite him he chose Scarlett Johansson (21 years old). Woody get’s a woody just being around Scarlett. Woody said, “I’m intimidated by Scarlett Johansson because she is so sexually overwhelming. It’s impossible to concentrate when she is around. It’s very hard to be extra witty around a sexually overwhelming, beautiful young woman who is wittier than you are. Anytime I say anything amusing, Scarlett tops me.”

When Woody says “it’s hard to be extra witty,” he means all the blood starts flowing to his penis and there’s no blood going to his brain when Scarlett is around. When Woody says, “Anytime I say anything amusing, Scarlett tops me,” he means Scarlett laughs even when he tells lame jokes, and he wishes she would get on top. Just like a girl does on a date with a non-funny guy who she wants to win-over. It’s called kissing butt (aka brown nosing).

Johansson describes the banter between the pair as an updated version of Billy Wilder and Marilyn Monroe’s routine, in which Woody plays a cranky old wise-cracking man (in other words himself), with Johansson able to give as good as she gets (in other words kissing Woody’s butt like an expert). She adds, “It’s our shtick”. OMG how original.

Woody Allen is taking his sick fascination with younger women, filming it, then asking an audience to pay to watch it. Yuck! I saw the preview the other day, and it looks like it SUCKS! Woody must have paid Scarlett Johansson a ton of money to do this film. I now know what, better yet who, Scarlett Johansson would do something sick with (like make this movie), if she was paid enough money. So much for principles.


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