Less than six weeks after finally publicly admitting that she is indeed pregnant with fiance Joel Madden’s baby, Nicole Richie has reportedly decided that she has too much going on to get married just yet.

The "emotionally and physically exhausted" excuse is being bandied about yet again.

What if it was all just a big ruse to shorten her jail sentence?

A big fake-baby conspiracy of trapeze dresses, empire waists, push-up bras, and bad posture.

Any day she could announce, "You’ve been Punk’d America!"

But, if there really is a baby, may we suggest eloping?

This old-fashioned response to getting knocked-up requires much less planning, so it’s much less "exhausting."

Imagine! You could even be married BEFORE the baby is born.

Just a thought, Nic.

People Magazine is reporting that Nicole Richie and Joel Madden might have taken one more step toward making themselves a legitimate family. No bastard sons allowed!

After a late Friday night performance with his band Good Charlotte at the Hot 99.5 Lil’ Black Dress Party hosted by Perez Hilton at the Clarendon Ballroom in Arlington, Va., Madden was walking offstage when Hot 99.5 morning show deejay Kane announced to the crowd, "He got engaged yesterday. Congratulations, Joel!"

To that, Madden quickly glanced back over his shoulder but was otherwise unresponsive as he made a hurried exit from the stage behind brother Benji.

"We heard this morning," Kane told PEOPLE following Good Charlotte’s 40-minute set. Crediting he got the word from "good sources," Kane said he hadn’t seen Richie since hearing the news, but added he had offered his congratulations to Madden earlier in the night. "He said, ‘Thank you so much,’" recalled Kane.

"They’re very excited about the baby and the wedding. They want to keep their personal life personal," he added.

These two are becoming so boring. I guess we won’t be able to write anything juicy until the day they go to pop out the baby and it’s actually an Olsen twin.

Though Eva Longoria and Tony Parker received $2 million to give OK! Magazine exclusive access to their Paris nuptials, a la Star Jones, they still had sponsors pay for gifts for their guests. Pages Six reports:

Those invited to the insanely over-covered nuptials got $700 bracelets from French jeweler Van Cleef & Arpels, along with Bebe bags filled Vitamin Water, L’Oreal products for women and a Cole Haan kit for men. At least the lovebirds paid for their wedding rings and luxurious gifts for each other, but, "They didn’t purchase anything for their guests," said our insider. Even the tacky "Mrs. Parker" track suit Longoria sported before hopping on her honeymoon plane was a gift from Bebe, the fashion company she endorses. And with the press snapping the happy couple at every moment, swag-givers got plenty of press. Reps for Longoria, who’s now on her honeymoon in Turks & Caicos, would not confirm or deny details of the event to Page Six.

Ewww…

We know we’re supposed to be accustomed to the swag mentality and that it’s a big part of the fuel that drives the Hollywood party scene, but your wedding? For which you’ve already taken beaucoup bucks in exchange for pictures and private details?

Um…that’s French, because, like, Tony Parker is.

We’d also like to throw out – zuts alor!

And – ecoute le coude. Il chantait!

Why? Because we can. We’re classy like that.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are currently in St. Tropez, France having a joint bachelor and bachelorette party before their wedding this weekend. Eva put on one bikini that looked like her great grandma wore it in the previous century, plus it looks like she pissed herself. She’s very giving, everybody got a massage, and high-fives from Eva too.

I don’t get the impression there’s a lot of passion between Eva and Tony. It looks more like Eva was looking for a permanent sugar daddy.

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden may have put plans for a happy little family on the fast track.

TMZ is passing along a rumor that Richie is "shopping around for a wedding dress … asking stylists for help."

E Online is citing an unnamed Richie close friend who confirmed that the star of The Simple Life is, indeed, pregnant.

Terrific timing, too. If she can just find the perfect dress and get this wrapped up before her July 11 trial date, perhaps she’ll petition for spousal conjugal visits.

Maybe Paris Hilton is helping out by scouting Hawaii locales for a quickie, post-clink honeymoon.