The Sun UK has been doing a lot of sex tape reporting lately that requires the kind of fact checking that Britney Spears uses to decide if she wants to wear clothes or not. Her motto, "Just do it," much like The Sun UK’s fact checking. The report says that Britney met a random guy in Hawaii for some casual sex, and they casually video taped it. The guy says he’s too embarrassed by his lame performance to release the tape. The Sun reports:

The man in question says he met the singer on holiday in June and taped their alleged night of lust in Britney’s hotel room. However, according to the unnamed man, the romp was a bit of a damp squib. He reportedly told a US magazine: “It was just normal sex, we didn’t do anything crazy. It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out.”

The Sun said the Eva Longoria sex tape was real, and that turned out to be untrue. After seeing Britney barely move, and gasping for air after only a few minutes shuffling her walker around the VMA stage, I don’t see her lasting 25 minutes having sex, even if she just laid there. Unless of course there was foreplay first, which would consist of eating a buffet of food for 24 minutes, then 1 minute of sex. After which, Britney would eat her new lover for desert.

Britney Spears is reported to be in negotiations with Fox network to appear on the Emmy Awards on Sunday. Her appearance has not been confirmed, "the idea is to have her come on and apologize for the VMAs. She’s weighing the offer." Click here to see video of her Gimme More MTV VMA performance.

A source close to Spears says, "I can’t say this is 100 percent not true. All I can say is that the Emmy people aren’t dealing with her record company, her manager or her agents at William Morris. So if she is doing anything for the Emmys then it’s not going through the official channels."

If the Emmys want to get bigger ratings, why don’t they book Britney as a presenter, rather than try to humiliate her further. She has nothing to apologize for. Britney gave a whale of a performance, and it was everything everyone expected. You know how the media is though, they are like sharks when they smell blood in the water. It wouldn’t be so bad for Britney however, if she hadn’t acted like she was Queen of the Sea. The Emmys should do a spoof on Britney’s performance. Make fun of her, but don’t be mean about it. In other words, don’t let Rosie write the comedy.

Britney Spears seems to think that illusion can cover up a lack of effort in her performance, preparation, and attitude. That might be how corporate executives get by, but that doesn’t make the grade when you’re a pop star. Here’s more:

Britney Spears didn’t end up working with Criss Angel on her VMA comeback performance, but her stage show was certainly full of illusions. Her lip-syncing was meant to give her the appearance of an actual singer, and her spray-on tan was supposed to make it look like she’d spent hours in the gym (as opposed to the bar).

“She had an ab-defining spray tan preshow to create the illusion of more tone,” a source tells Us. Well, we know how that turned out.

I don’t know why no one suggested Britney use one of those six pack abs you get at the Halloween costume store. Plus a French maid outfit, an eye patch, and a plastic sword. She could have had a sword fight with all the dancers, and afterwards make them walk the plank. It was Las Vegas, and anything could happen, so you gotta think big.

Britney blew her chance to have a big comeback with the help of Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, when her ego grew too big. Timbaland says the collaboration with Britney would be:

"the best thing that ever happened" and would "help her out a whole lot." But he then dismissed the possibility, saying in so many words that Brit has become big-headed and had dissed him and Justin. "It’ll never happen. Nah. It could’ve, but it won’t."

Now Timbo has even more advice to give her about getting her career back on track. "She needs a story," he said. "She has no comeback story. That’s the problem. She has to have a team. She needs to come back with Justin doing records; [then we’d see headlines like,] ’She went back to her ex and she’s making smashes.’ [But instead she got] so big-headed and [was] like, ’Screw you, screw you, I don’t need nobody.’ "

So is there any chance for Spears to rectify the situation and possibly work with Timberlake and Timbaland? Yes, says the super-producer — if she apologizes.

"She should humble herself and make a phone call and say, ’I’m sorry.’ She knows what she’s sorry about," Tim said. "She needs to say, ’I was wrong,’ and it’ll definitely move forward. … That’s all she has to say."

More bad news for Britney. Her single Gimme More got on the Billboard Hot 100, but it is hanging at number 85. If this whole pop star thing doesn’t work for her anymore, Britney will probably start her own plus size fashion line. For women only.

We knew those extensions Britney Spears sported during her super-craptacular dance number Sunday looked especially cheap.

According to Norm Clarke’s Vegas Confidential:

… she wore extensions from Jessica Simpson’s Hair-u-Wear line, Vegas Confidential has learned.

Backstage spies say Spears pitched a fit. She had arranged for her own hair stylist to make the trip for $10,000 and “she wanted to go brown, but her people said ‘no way,’” said a backstage source.

Oh, the famous Ken Paves/Jessica Simpson Hair-u-Wear line. Allowing trashy mallrats across this great land to emulate their coked-out, suspended-license-defying idols.

Really, who needs a stylist when you have a mass-market line of Barbie hair at your disposal?

You can always cover up the bad patches with a well-placed c.z.-laden hand. Just like the stars!

There were some incredible demands made by some of the performers at the VMA Awards for what they wanted backstage. Justin Timberlake’s included mostly booze, while Fitty’s included mostly sweets, but, of course, it was Britney’s that was the most hilarious of all. I know we’ve all had an a$$-full of her, but this cannot go unnoticed. Here is her list of demands: crudites, fruit, little sandwiches (NO BACON), margaritas, red bull (both regular and sugar free), and lots of flowers, candles, and "girly things."

We can only imagine that "crudites" is Brit Brit’s word for Cheetos. Fruit is probably her non-PC request for a stylist/best friend. NO BACON means EXTRA BACON. And "girly things" was probably a huge addendum which included invisible panties, a vibrator, Xanax, and someone to go check on the kids in her car.