Paris Hilton is back drinking, and allegedly drugging. Anyone surprised? Here’s more:

An event producer for 50 Cent’s Vegas party loaned Paris Hilton his room key so she and some guy pals could retreat to his room to "smoke" before the party last weekend. A wobbly Hilton then "chugged a vitamin water to quench her dry mouth," said a spy. Earlier in the day at the Kenneth Cole Reaction suite, camera crews were trying to catch her light up a hand-rolled cigarette pool side, but were blocked by security. Hilton’s rep made the expected denials.

No one thinks Paris is cool anymore. At one time she would flip off the authorities, and smoke her joint in public, and tell the man to stick it. Now, she is the man.

Most recently Paris attended the Emmy Awards and hit the bar hard. Afterwards she could barely stand, and tried to climb an iron gate to her friend’s house. She doesn’t take no for an answer. Too bad it isn’t legal to electrify the gate. If only someone could do everyone a favor, and direct her to climb the lion’s cage, and pet the pretty kitty.

Dave Grohl, from the Foo Fighters had this to say about Paris:

"Paris is f***ing lame. She’s more offensive to me than anything. She’s a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her."

Dave is a prophet. If he ever runs for class president, he’s got my vote.

Though Eva Longoria and Tony Parker received $2 million to give OK! Magazine exclusive access to their Paris nuptials, a la Star Jones, they still had sponsors pay for gifts for their guests. Pages Six reports:

Those invited to the insanely over-covered nuptials got $700 bracelets from French jeweler Van Cleef & Arpels, along with Bebe bags filled Vitamin Water, L’Oreal products for women and a Cole Haan kit for men. At least the lovebirds paid for their wedding rings and luxurious gifts for each other, but, "They didn’t purchase anything for their guests," said our insider. Even the tacky "Mrs. Parker" track suit Longoria sported before hopping on her honeymoon plane was a gift from Bebe, the fashion company she endorses. And with the press snapping the happy couple at every moment, swag-givers got plenty of press. Reps for Longoria, who’s now on her honeymoon in Turks & Caicos, would not confirm or deny details of the event to Page Six.

Ewww…

We know we’re supposed to be accustomed to the swag mentality and that it’s a big part of the fuel that drives the Hollywood party scene, but your wedding? For which you’ve already taken beaucoup bucks in exchange for pictures and private details?

Um…that’s French, because, like, Tony Parker is.

We’d also like to throw out – zuts alor!

And – ecoute le coude. Il chantait!

Why? Because we can. We’re classy like that.