Britney Spears Was on Drugs at MTV VMA

Britney Spears is just like so many people in America, here’s more:

Britney Spears was fed anti-depressant drugs minutes prior to her lackluster performance at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday after a heated row with a hair stylist. The tormented pop star angrily disapproved of the chosen hairstyle for her comeback at the Las Vegas ceremony and flew into "blind panic", according to reports. A doctor was dispatched to the Palms Casino resort to give the star prescription drugs. A source tells The Sun, "Britney took enough to floor an elephant. They calmed her down, but were clearly too effective. "The scene in the dressing room before the show was one of absolute blind panic. She knew she hadn’t rehearsed enough and was going to mess up the whole show and possibly her career - then she saw her hairdo and it was the final straw. She went into a wild rage and started lashing out at everyone - including her stylist."

If you were the elephant in the room, wouldn’t you need something to calm you down? Just take a look at Britney’s female dancers. They’ve got legs like tree trunks, and big a$$ booties. She knew she looked fat 2 years ago. She talks like she’s still the queen, but she’s just a mess like the rest of us. I don’t want to see Britney like that. I can walk through a Walmart and see a white trash mess wearing mismatching clothes, wigs, and weird hats any day of the week. I want a hot Britney, who can dance and sing. I want hot white trash that rises above the trailer park. Somebody smack this girl, and tell her to get her crap straight or we’re gonna take away her toys.

After her failed comeback appearance she’s now meeting with Kevin Federline at his attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan’s office. Here’s more:

“Britney asked for [the meeting]. She wants to put an end to this public debacle," says the Spears source. “However, Kevin [has] refused. He needs more money so he’s determined to win this.”

Court documents released Aug. 30 show that Spears’s income is $737,868 a month and that Ferderline receives $20,000 a month in spousal support but has no “net income after business expenses.”

I took a survey recently and it turns out that 99.9% of Americans believe Kevin Federline is a loser, but in another survey Americans believe Britney is an even bigger loser. They are perfect for each other. When white trash couples have kids it’s called incest, but we can’t judge them because we don’t understand their culture, and we’d be some kind of cultural racist. To most Americans Kevin and Britney don’t seem like British royalty, or like our beloved Kennedy royalty, but to the under belly of America those two are like a good scratch. Most people don’t know how much white trash has done for this country. White trash gave us birth defects, tattoo parlors, doggy style, and how can we forget, Kevin and Britney.

Britney Spears is a Fat Pig

Sunday night at the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas Britney Spears ran off stage yelling she looked like a fat pig, after seeing herself on overhead monitors during her performance. Here’s more:

“She was also able to see video of herself throughout the auditorium,” a backstage source tells Us Weekly. “She flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ She was inconsolable.”

I’m not going to dispute the facts, or argue against Britney’s accurate declaration that she "looked like a fat pig." She’s right. I’ve never seen an anorexic pig, so "fat pig" sounds accurate. Drinking 3 or 4 Starbucks Vente frappuccinos with extra heavy whipped cream, plus super-sized pizzas with extra cheese and grease, Cheetos, and more, doesn’t make a young lady look like a sexy goddess. Over the last few years has she not stepped on a scale or even looked in the mirror? When her manager arranged for a trainer, and brought in a whale trainer from SeaWorld, didn’t Britney suspect someone was trying to tell her something? On the plus side, as long as Britney is a fat pig, it will be harder to see her vagina past her inner thigh fat.

Check out Britney’s uncensored MTV VMA performance after the jump…

CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THE STORY …

Hayden Panettiere Asked About Sarah Silverman Joke

Hayden Panettiere just got back to Los Angeles from the Las Vegas MTV Video Music Awards. The waiting paparazzi at LAX didn’t ask about her next project, they asked if Sarah Silverman’s jokes affected Britney Spears performance. Right then Sarah, who shared a flight with Hayden, walked up and embraced Hayden. Britney who? Even bigger news, Hayden (18) is single again. Hayden and Stephen Colletti (21), from Laguna Beach, have broken up. Here’s more:

A source said, "Their breakup has been a long time coming." But that doesn’t mean the former sweethearts are feuding. Panettiere says, "We are still very close friends and talk to each other frequently. We appreciate and support each other’s careers."

Their breakup has been a long time coming? They were together for 1 year. I guess when you’re 18 a week seems like a long time. Reportedly Hayden is already over what’s his name, which doesn’t surprise me at all. That was like a lifetime ago.

Tommy Lee Kissed Criss Angel at MTV VMA

When Tommy Lee was in Las Vegas at the MTV Video Music Awards he spent a lot of time with his hands all over Pamela Anderson, and other guys. Here he is kissing yet another guy, this time the unfortunate victim was Criss Angel, who is obviously not receptive to being date raped by Tommy. Bars usually throw sloppy drunks out before they start groping other guys. Tommy thinks he’s a magician because he can tell guys how much change they have in their pockets, but only after he’s had his hands in their pants. It’s no wonder Kid Rock kicked his butt at the VMAs.

Britney Spears Needs Your Financial Support

Britney Spears has received another invitation from the Ace & TJ morning show, a nationally syndicated program, to redeem herself in front of record and radio executives by performing at the NAB Radio Show’s R&R Convention later this month in Charlotte, N.C. Does everyone have to try to exploit Britney to get publicity? FYI to Britney if you’re reading this…my kid is having a birthday party and it would be super if you could perform as a clown. My kid doesn’t like your music anymore, but thought you were hilarious on the MTV Video Music Awards. Did you know she still makes around $750,000 a month, and she’s buying a new house? Here’s more:

…just a few miles north to the Point Dume area where she will soon be relocating to an 8,500 square foot house that sits on a 5 acre parcel on gated Ramirez Canyon Road.

The newly renovated house, which was recently listed at $9,350,000, includes 6 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, a large living room with low ceilings, a dining room with high ceilings and a view of the heated pool, a master that includes a fireplace and dual bathrooms. The square footage also includes a media room, wine cellar, family room, eat in kitchen and spare bedrooms.

The 5 acre estate is accessed by a charming wooden bridge and the park-like grounds will give the kids plenty of privacy and room to play hide and seek.

The rolling grounds include lush lawns, a heated swimming pool, guest house, and room for horses.

Better fit Sean and Jayden with GPS tracking ankle bracelets. Just hours after Britney and the kids move in, there will be a search team trying to find her lost kids in the woods.

The Britney haters will always remember her disastrous 2007 MTV VMA performance. Britney will always remember she has $100 million dollars.