Verne Troyer needs to find himself a midget sized blow up doll. French kissing a baby doll is sick and twisted.

Large amounts of alcohol can make people do strange things.

Verne Troyer was drunk again on Celebrity Big Brother.

Does Verne’s life suck so much he has to be drunk so often, or does he just need to go to rehab?

Verne Troyer is easily the biggest mess on Celebrity Big Brother. He appears to be perpetually drunk. In the video above he ran his little scooter into a door.

Click here to see Verne sweet talking LaToya Jackson. Someone better tell her that the dog in the house isn’t the only one who humps legs.

Verne Troyer (39) filed a detailed lawsuit which claims Ranae Shrider (22) physically and mentally abused him. The suit asks for $20 million. The mental abuse includes releasing their intimate tape. Troyer says Shrider once held him against his will.

Verne discussed the humiliation he felt after the tape was released with Us Weekly. In the interview he said:

"I put all the trust in her. She kept the tape in her camera on top of the closet where I couldn’t even reach it!"

Troyer told TMZ:

"When you pick up a 2’8" human being and throw him to the floor, it hurts."

When asked by Us Weekly how he feels about his ex now he said:

"Hate is a good word."

Who can blame him?

Holly Bannon, a rep for back stabber Ranae Shrider, said in a statement:

"This lawsuit is ridiculous and riddled with lie upon lie from Verne Troyer and his camp. It is in our opinion a transparent attempt to secure as much publicity as he can from his less than average career in the wake of his most recent failure in The Love Guru."

"The only abuse that ever occurred in their household was that of emotional abuse inflicted upon Ranae and her dog Lacy on the occasions when he hit Ranae and her dog with his ’reaching sticks’ or kicked them when having one of his drunken rages."

"This alleged abuse certainly has not seemed to affect his recent round of interviews or his golf swing over the weekend. Is this not the same man who is renown as a professional stuntman in all his movies?"

Shrider admitted she leaked the intimate tape she made with Troyer. It seems she was one seeking attention to get her nonexistent acting and modeling career going.

Ranae Shrider is still selling her story about being Verne Troyer’s love toy to whomever will listen, and her story is sickening. She says:

"But sex was very different from anything I’d experienced before, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was tricky making everything work."

"I had to kneel down just to give him a hug. And anything but the traditional missionary position was just impossible. So I’d lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees!"

"It wasn’t quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn’t wear a condom. There was no point, they’re all too big."

"It was strange having sex with someone who couldn’t reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over."

"But minutes later Verne was ready to go again. That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing."

"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub," she said. "Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in."

"But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn’t see him."

"Verne’s voice is just like it is in the films and as he disappeared under the water, I heard this tiny yelp for help. I could just hear him crying, ‘Ranae, I can’t see! Get me out, I’m drowning!’"

"I was frantic and started to scoop the bubbles out so I could find him. The bath was only about 3ft deep but for someone of Verne’s size it was like he’d fallen into the deep end of a swimming pool—and he CAN’T swim. I put my hand under and eventually felt his bald head and hauled him out. I couldn’t believe I’d tried to do something sexy and ended up almost killing him. He looked like a drowned rat."

"Then when I asked, ‘Shall we have sex now?’ he was so out of breath he just stomped off with foam on his shiny head and said, ‘I don’t feel like it now.’ It was dreadful."

What Ranae doesn’t have in brains, she doesn’t make up for in looks, but she’s still cashing in on Verne.