According to US Weekly, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt don’t need a piece of paper.

“I’ve tried marriage twice before, but Brad and I haven’t felt the need to do it. We never discuss it too much because we don’t feel like there is anything missing.”

No surprise there. They seem happy enough.

Besides, why pay the butcher when you’re getting the sausage, and the growing multi-national brood, for free?

Are we right, ladies?

Everybody is covering the story of the week – Paris Hilton sprung from jail! – except celeb-focused US Weekly.

The AP reports this earth-shattering editorial decision.

"When it came down to it, the staff and I felt what I believe a lot of people in America are feeling. Which is just enormous Paris fatigue," US Weekly Editor Janice Min told The Associated Press on Tuesday.

As a result, Hilton not only won’t be on the cover, there won’t even be a mention of her in the magazine.

"I don’t think," Min joked, "we even mention the city of Paris."

Perhaps it’s true that US Weekly made the decision because they’re just sick of Paris.

Feels weird doesn’t it?

When you can’t count on your favorite tabloid to ravenously cover a story like this, the world feels kind of…empty. Lonely. Scary.

Wonder how Paris will feel about this snub.

What, no gravlaks or lingonberry jam?

In the land of smoked salmon and Jarlsberg cheese, US Weekly reports that Justin Timberlake and his boomerang girl Jessica Biel opted to eat at T.G.I. Friday’s.

Did you know they’re worldwide? We didn’t either.

After Timberlake’s concert in Stockholm (Biel watched from backstage), the pair boarded a bus for Oslo, Norway. There they made no attempt to hide their relationship, or their national pride, as they hit up the local T.G.I. Friday’s for a late lunch. With bellies full of cheesesticks, they strolled hand-in-hand to the Royal Norwegian Castle. Afterwards, they got on a yacht, which took them on a (gasp) three hour tour.

When they returned to land safely, the couple and their entourage grabbed dinner at gourmet restaurant Oro, which we hear does not have a Jack Daniel’s grill, and then headed off to their hotel for some privacy.

That’s a relief. They had at least one dinner worthy of wealthy, world travelers while in Norway.

We don’t mean to be snobs, really, but you can have quesadillas and pot stickers at home.

When in Rome, you lovebirds, when in Rome.

Read more…

Britney Spears reportedly stormed out of a photo shoot for her new perfume last week and refused to return. Page Six reports:

"There was a shoot last week in L.A. for a new perfume she’s coming out with and something happened," a source says. "She got very upset and stormed out of the shoot and wouldn’t come back. She is not listening to anyone and doing exactly what she wants. But sometimes she doesn’t know best."

That’s what those silly directors get for trying to get Britney to act like a grown-up. Her perfume probably smells like a truck stop bathroom where all the hookers hang out.

Less than 90 days ago, Britney Spears left Promises rehab and the word from her handlers was that she had conquered her demons. This followed a bizarre 24 hours when she shaved her head, cried outside Kevin Federline’s house and attacked the paparazzi with an umbrella. Soon after leaving rehab, however, Britney made it clear that she felt she never had a drinking problem and was forced to go to rehab against her will. So it shouldn’t be surprising to hear that she’s once again drinking at all the Hollywood hot spots. Us magazine says:

The singer – who has repeatedly denied having a problem with alcohol – was seen kicking back several rounds of cocktails on June 15.

Spears, 25, hit West Hollywood hot spot Lola’s and hung out with four pals at a private table on the bar’s back patio.

“She had two Jack [Daniels] and Cokes and an orange-flavored martini,” Lola’s manager, Sylvie Haines, tells Us Weekly, adding that “her whole visit was pretty low-key and she didn’t seem drunk.”

Just one Jack Daniels shot is enough to get a grown man a DUI. If Britney didn’t appear drunk, then 2 Jacks and a martini must be like orange juice in the morning for her. No wonder Britney’s mom said she doesn’t want Britney’s sister around her alone, and without any supervision.

Page Six is reporting that Angelina Jolie’s denial of involvement in and apology for the restrictions placed on the press during the premiere of A Mighty Heart were disingenuous. Shocker!

But tipsters tell Page Six that Jolie went on to ban some entertainment weeklies, including Us Weekly and Life & Style, from speaking to her at the film’s junket on Friday at the Waldorf-Astoria – only deigning to allow access to OK! and her reliable ally, People magazine, which is inclined to swallow her p.r. hook, line and sinker.

Over the past few years, People has paid Jolie millions for the rights to publish photos of her and Brad Pitt’s various kids, which she gave to charities, upping her positive publicity.

Did anyone really believe Jolie when, during her interview with Jon Stewart, she disavowed knowledge of what her "people" were doing?

The guys who spoofed her appearance certainly didn’t. You can see Angelina’s entire Daily Show denial and the mocking of it