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Jessica Simpson FAT Magazine Covers

Hollywood Grind — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 04:08:03 +0000

A much fatter Jessica Simpson made the cover of US Weekly, In Touch, and People. Free media coverage is good, as long as you have a plan.

Watch for Jessica to land a deal as a spokesman for a diet company, and to launch her own fitness video, book, and maybe even her own food service to help people lose weight. All she has to do now is lose the fat, and she’ll be a role model for women who want to lose weight.

Hayden Panettiere Threatens to Kill Reporter

Hollywood Grind — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:39:15 +0000

The other day there was an allegation that Hayden Panettiere threatened to kill an Us magazine reporter while she was on the red carpet: Here’s more:

Anyway, it was the unbreakable Hayden Panettiere who threatened to "kill" a staffer from Us Weekly over something she wrote about her in a recent issue. Just when it looked like Hayden was about to pull a Sylar on said reporter’s skull, her quick-thinking publicist grabbed her and scolded, "Not on the red carpet." It was a classic Hollywood moment – and one I predict will be streaming all over the Internet by week’s end.

Hayden didn’t mean to "kill" anyone. Maybe the people over at Us Weekly should pass out a dictionary defining slang used by young people. The reason Hayden isn’t happy is because she’s moving from one guy to another like musical chairs, and she wants to keep her sex life a secret. She dumped Stephen Colletti, and she’s already moved on to co-star Milo Ventimiglia. In the video above the Milo and Hayden were dancing at the Emmy Awards after show party, and Milo was tenderizing his new meat with his hands and lips. By the time Hayden hits 21 years-old she’ll have handled more meat than a butcher.

Britney Spears is a Fat Pig

Hollywood Grind — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 19:40:39 +0000

Sunday night at the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas Britney Spears ran off stage yelling she looked like a fat pig, after seeing herself on overhead monitors during her performance. Here’s more:

â€œShe was also able to see video of herself throughout the auditorium,â€ a backstage source tells Us Weekly. â€œShe flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling â€˜Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ She was inconsolable.â€

I’m not going to dispute the facts, or argue against Britney’s accurate declaration that she "looked like a fat pig." She’s right. I’ve never seen an anorexic pig, so "fat pig" sounds accurate. Drinking 3 or 4 Starbucks Vente frappuccinos with extra heavy whipped cream, plus super-sized pizzas with extra cheese and grease, Cheetos, and more, doesn’t make a young lady look like a sexy goddess. Over the last few years has she not stepped on a scale or even looked in the mirror? When her manager arranged for a trainer, and brought in a whale trainer from SeaWorld, didn’t Britney suspect someone was trying to tell her something? On the plus side, as long as Britney is a fat pig, it will be harder to see her vagina past her inner thigh fat.

Check out Britney’s uncensored MTV VMA performance after the jump…

Lauren Conrad is Overpaid

Hollywood Grind — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 18:39:07 +0000

Lauren Conrad from The Hills was filming in her bikini on a beach. Life is so hard for those girls from The Hills. E! Online’s Answer B!tch provided a ball-park estimate of reality star incomes, including Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag from MTV’s series The Hills:

Well, Lauren "L.C." Conrad does get to operate ongoing hot war with Heidi Montag in the pages of Us Weekly every week, free of charge. If that’s not a fine compensation, I don’t know what is. Oh, wait. Yes, I do. How about an estimated $10,000 to $25,000 per episode? That’s the general industry range for top reality stars such as Conrad, Montag, wannabe K-Fed or Spencer Pratt.

A reality star is what a spoiled pretty girl becomes when she’s too lazy to make an honest living as an escort.

Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead Is “Breathtaking”

Hollywood Grind — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 22:59:42 +0000

The upcoming issue of Us Weekly will feature Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead as she approaches her first birthday. Us Magazine has noted the resemblance between Dannielynn and her mother.

Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead may not have many memories of Anna Nicole Smith, but as she nears her first birthday, it appears that just looking in the mirror will be a lifelong reminder of her mom.

Family friend Tricia Barnstable Brown tells , "I think she’s really starting to look like her mom. She has those pouty lips like Anna — she’s breathtaking." Aunt Judy Birkhead adds, "She has Anna’a smile and Larry’s eyes. She also has her laugh, and her personality is fun like Anna’s."

Anyone who has watched "Seinfeld" knows that "breathtaking" is a polite way of saying that the baby bears a striking resemblance to a catcher’s mit.

That big personality that Dannielynn got from her mom has already helped her win friends. Dad Larry Birkhead tells Us "When I took her out for her first big dinner, she looked around at the table and grabbed this big Alaskan crab leg off my plate and started swinging it around, making all these crazy noises. Everyone in the restaurant was laughing."

Sure, they’re laughing now, but when Dannielynn is still spinning crab legs in her thirties, it won’t be quite so cute. With Anna Nicole as a mother, you could probably open up her head and find a chick pea where a brain should be.

Britney Spears Topless with College Guy – Pics

Hollywood Grind — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 19:24:02 +0000

Matt Encinias (aka unluckiest guy in the world), a 21-year-old college student, who looks like Jim Carrey, spent the night at Standard Hotel in the rooftop pool with a topless Britney Spears. She did try to disguise herself by wearing a hat and sunglasses at night in a pool. Who else would do that except "brainiac" Britney. I love how it takes two people to help drunk Britney walk above.

Us Weekly says:

Although Spears was expecting her two young sons to be dropped off at her Beverly Hills home at noon, the singer had arranged to have the pool reopened at 2 am for the exclusive use of her group, which included then-assistant Shannon Funk and some hand-picked male extras from her video shoot.

â€œBritney was the first one to undress, and then everyone else followed,â€ Encinias tells Us. â€œI turned around and saw that she was topless and she had fake tattoos of flowers on her nipples from the shoot. I was told all she wanted to do that night was kiss a boy. And that’s what she did. Mission accomplished.â€

It was when the alcohol started running low that an inebriated Spears, 25, suggested a game of Truth or Dare. â€œI was dared to get naked and get out of the pool and walk as though I was on a catwalk in a fashion show,â€ says Encinias. â€œBritney was laughing really hard.â€

The Sun UK adds:

Britney’s assistant hand-picked Mike and a group of male pals to go to her hotel for drinks by the pool.

Mike explained: â€œBritney was drinking Mojitos and she’d been drinking some Jack Daniel’s. Suddenly she shocked everyone by just stripping out of her top. She went into the pool topless – her boobs were exposed and she had a drink in her hand and a hat on with sunglasses.â€

Mike says he kissed Britney after her assistant told him the singer wanted to â€œmake outâ€ with him.

He said: â€œShe straddled me and put her legs around me. When I started kissing her I did everything in my power – from my previous experience of kissing girls – not to mess it up. Britney had more drinks – she was having Jack and more Mojitos in between me feeling her up, her boobs, and kissing her on her neck. Her body was very nice. It was sexual and sensual kissing. It took some effort to perfect. She is a great kisser – I’d actually say a phenomenal kisser.â€

Mike was invited back to Britney’s suite once the party was over at 4am.

He said: â€œI went in and found Britney lying on the bed with her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on. â€œShe was looking like she was ready – and I wanted to finalise it.â€

He was planning to spend the rest of the night in her bed – until one of his friends collapsed and nearly drowned from all the booze he had downed.

Britney’s bodyguards stepped in and ordered Mike to take his mate home.

Mike added: â€œIn the end we had to say our goodbyes.â€

The homos wrote in and they say:

Dear Mike,

We heard you were handpicked to make out with Britney Spears. Thanks for taking one for the team!

Love,

Horrified Homosexuals Everywhere

Things like this happened to me all the time in college, except it was usually an old fat bearded professor inviting me over for a massage and drinks in his hot tub.

Britney Spears Goes Topless to Lure College Student

Hollywood Grind — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 16:14:42 +0000

There’s no other way to describe it, though US Weekly will surely try to flesh it out with gory details in this week’s cover story.

And, before all you Britney Spears fans come out of the woodwork to defend her in the comments and tell us to "leave her alone" and "let her go about her business" please take a moment to reflect on Brit-Brit’s recent behavior.

Inappropriate dress for dinner with the tots. Snubbing Victoria Beckham, as if Posh is beneath her. And weaponizing baby bottles and making expletive-laced threats in public.

Those who really love Britney should be alarmed, concerned, and fearful for her safety and the safety of her children.

Plus, somebody should really look into some kind of "Big Sister" program for her. If she’s so lonely that she’ll hop into a hotel pool with any ol’ extra from a video shoot and then smile for the camera, perhaps what Britney really needs is just a friend.

One who won’t sell their camera phone pics to the tabloids.

Britney Spears will Kill You then Babysit Your Kids

Hollywood Grind — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 17:15:45 +0000

Just days ago Britney Spears was involved in an incident where her bodyguard assaulted a paparazzi, and the first reports neglected to mention Britney’s lack of innocence. The AP says:

Spears yelled "I am going to kill you! I am going to f_ _king kill you!," at Andrew Deetz, the photographer who was allegedly beaten by Spears’ bodyguard on Thursday. The men were taking pictures of Spears and her children as they left the spa at the Wynn Las Vegas casino-hotel at about 11:30 a.m., accompanied by two bodyguards. One bodyguard, Cesar Julio Camera, pushed Henderson (the other photopgrapher) against the wall until Wynn security intervened.

Afterward, Spears ran toward Henderson but was stopped by security, and then threw a baby bottle at him.

Then, in front of several other hotel guests and bystanders, Spears threatened to kill Deetz and said he should get a restraining order against her because she was going to kill him or hire someone that would.

Las Vegas police issued a summons for a charge of battery to Camera, the only person cited in the incident. He could face up to six months in county jail and a $1,000 fine if convicted.

The paparazzi had probably just left church when they happened upon Miss Spears. They probably kept a safe unobtrusive distance while they took a few shots of their favorite celebrity to personally enjoy later, when BAM!, they got smacked down by Spears and her bodyguard. The paparazzi aren’t so innocent, but threatening to kill someone is illegal. Britney probably thinks that if you kill someone they just get back up like in cartoons.

More criticism of Britney’s parenting skills are coming out in the tabloids. Looks like Britney hasn’t been able to do anything right since she left the hillbilly hills. US Weekly says:

"Sean is having dental problems because Britney just shoves a bottle of juice in his mouth all the time to stop him from crying.â€

Spears â€œasked an L.A. dentist if he would whiten her kid’s teeth!â€ The dentist refused.

On July 22, Spears and the kids toured – then took over for several hours – a Pacific Palisades home, on the market for $6.5 million. Upon arrival, her bodyguard removed the FOR SALE sign, then went to her Beverly Hills home to fetch some of their belongings. The result was a home seller’s nightmare, with Spears and her kids trashing the house before money exchanged hands. â€œShe ate tacos on the bedroom floor!â€ a source says of the home. â€œShe got crumbs and grease everywhere. She let her babies and her dog roam the floor. She left the bed a mess – I don’t know what’s wrong with her.â€

The mag is rumored to have added…when Britney misplaces her pack of cigarettes, â€œshe’ll actually turn to Sean and say, â€˜Baby, where are Mama’s lollipops?’ Sean runs, gets her cigarettes and brings them back to her.â€

Well Miss Spears, I’ve been looking for a qualified baby sitter, and I think I finally found the right one.

Angelina Jolie Depressed Over Failure of Film

Hollywood Grind — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 19:09:43 +0000

Us Magazine is reporting that Angelina Jolie has been very down about A Mighty Heart flopping at the theaters.

Bad box office numbers can be a real bummer. According to a source close to Angelina Jolie, 32, the actress is â€œdevastatedâ€ by the audience rejection of her movie A Mighty Heart (it has earned just $9 million).

â€œShe poured her heart into the story and canâ€™t believe people donâ€™t understand how important it is,â€ the insider tells Us Weekly in this week’s issue.

Helping to lighten her mood: a vacation in France with Brad Pitt, 43, and their four kids.

The whole clan is staying at a $13,818-a-week rental manor in Marthon, which boasts a swimming pool and private theater.

(Family friend Mariane Pearl, whom Jolie played in the film, was seen joining them.)

Says an insider, â€œBrad and Angelina wanted to get away from everything, and France is a great place to do that.â€

Awwww, poor Angelina, the sex-goddess who can lure any man on the planet into her bed. Her movie did badly at the box office. She has to make herself feel better by flying to France on a private jet with her husband, Brad Pitt–you know, the best looking man in the world. When I get depressed, I down a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and chase it with a fifth of Jack.

Angelina Jolie Tops Most Expensive Celebrity Photos

Hollywood Grind — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 17:09:23 +0000

Forbes released their list of Most Expensive Celebrity Photos:

1. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s first photos – People – June â€˜06 – $4.1 Million
2. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s wedding – OK! – Oct â€˜05- $3 Million
3. Eva Longoria and Tony Parker’s wedding – OK! – July â€˜07 – $2 Million
3. Larry Birkhead with daughter Danielynn – OK! – April â€˜07 – $2 Million
3. Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt’s adoption photos – People – March â€˜07 – $2 Million
6. Anna Nicole’s wedding to Howard Stern- People – Sept â€˜06 – $1 Million
7. Britney Spear’s son Sean Preston’s first photos – People – Nov â€˜05 – $500,000
7. Angelina and Brad’s first photos as couple – Us Weekly – April â€˜05 – $500,000
7. Angelina Jolie’s first visibly pregnant photos – People – Jan â€˜06 – $500,000
10. Anna Nicole Smith’s son hours before his death – InTouch – Sept â€˜06 – $400,000

Source: Forbes

Angelina Jolie made more than any other celebrity, taking 4 out of the 10 spots, 3 out of 4 of those pictures were due to interest in her children. It’s wrong to make big bucks selling pictures of your biological and adopted children when you’re already very rich. Jolie only started making the big bucks once she started dating Brad Pitt, and already had two adopted children. Brad has been good for Jolie’s career.

The worst mother award goes to Anna Nicole Smith however, for selling pictures of her dead son showing him just hours before his death. A real mother would never betray her son like that.

Notably not listed is how much, if anything, was paid for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes pictures of baby Suri.

The best father award should go to Tiger Woods who revealed pictures of his daughter Sam Alexis to the world for FREE.

HollywoodGrind - Celebrity gossip juicy celebrity rumors celebrity scandals Hollywood gossip blog » Us Weekly

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