US Magazine is reporting that other gossip magazines are lying (shocker) and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are doing fine. US has bolstered its story of bad tabloids and their untrue tales with a quote from the Brad’s rep that "these magazines continue to write lies about our clients to sell magazines."

In other "news" Lindsay Lohan has a substance-abuse problem, Britney Spears is a hot mess, and polls show that Americans look forward to Fridays.

Carry on.

Us Magazine has reported on the first installment of Nicole Richie’s interview with Diane Sawyer, and a pervasive theme was how shocked Nicole was to actually discover she was with child.

Nicole Richie was so surprised to discover that she was pregnant, it took five home pregnancy tests to convince her that she was having a baby.

“It took me — it really took me a long time to really — for it to sink in,” she says. “I actually didn’t even really believe it until I heard the heartbeat.”

What she didn’t say is that it took her five times to actually pee straight enough to get it on the stick. 

The couple, who have already started a VIDEO diary for their unborn baby, tell Sawyer they don’t want to know whether the child is a boy or a girl.

The rest of us just want to know if it’s going to be human.  For some reason, I can’t stop picturing it coming out as a six pack and a bottle of pills. 

Dad, Lionel Richie, also sounds thrilled:

“He was really quiet,” according to Nicole, who says he told her: “Now you’re going to get to experience everything that I have and everything that you’ve done to me, it’s definitely going to come back to you.”

He’s not exactly dancing on the ceiling over being a grandpa.  He’ll probably insist on being called some weird name, like G-Money…or Lionel.

As we reported last week, John Stamos left an indelible mark Down Under, as he slurred his way through some TV interviews, even adding in some lewd gestures.  Us Magazine reports that Uncle Jesse has since blamed jet lag and sleeping pills, not alcohol. Pull our other leg and it plays The Star Spangled Banner.

The ER star says that his odd demeanor was simply “an hour of grogginess” from having taken the prescription sleep aid Ambien, and only getting a few hours of rest. (The drug is only meant to be taken when a person can devote eight hours to sleep.)

“I took Ambien at 5 a.m. and got up at 7 a.m.," he explains. “I was OK and did a few radio interviews. Then I had a break at 10 a.m. I dozed off and couldn’t wake up. Security banged on the door, shook me and woke me up. They threw a jacket on me and put me in front of the camera. I did three or four interviews after that, and no one said a word.”

“It was a weird very out of character hour of my life,” he adds.

What was his family’s reaction to the interviews? “I got screaming calls from my mother and my sister asking, ‘Have you lost your mind? Do we need to fly over there?’”

Stamos tells US he is "very sorry it happened" and is also refuting rumors that he’s headed to rehab. “What?! I barely drink,” he insists. “I have probably had 10 drinks in the last year.”

What’s the over-under on a photo surfacing of him doing a tequila shot out of a porn star’s belly button?

Watch a bit of the lunacy.