Page Six is reporting that Lindsay Lohan’s new rehab friend, the NYC check-pilferer Dori Cooperman, isn’t exactly being welcomed with open arms by the Firecrotch Faithful. They’re on to her plans and watching her maneuver to cement her relationship with her new BFF.

In all of the oceanfront photos and videos of Lohan’s party, one face keeps popping up: that of Cooperman, who extended her own rehab stay at Promises in a cheesy bid to befriend the center’s highest-profile resident, some of her New York pals say…

…Us Weekly will run the exclusive snaps in its next issue, Lohan’s rep confirmed. "Dori will be just thrilled to see her face in Us Weekly," sniped one partygoer. "Lindsay’s been warned about her. Right now, she’s being really nice and friendly to everybody, but everyone knows what Dori’s agenda is."

What exactly would the agenda be? Either Lohan is recovered or she isn’t.

So Cooperman either plans to scrap her own sobriety and ride the crazy coke-fueled train that is Lohan’s downward spiral to its inevitably tragic destination.

Or she’s already at work learning card games and scouting out the coolest Hollywood Bingo Parlors to frequent with her boring ginger-haired pal.

Dori, you little mailbox thief, has it really come to this?

Move over Britney, Paris, Nicole, and Lindsay (Or, as I like to call them, the "whore corps")–there’s a new trainwreck in town, and she’s looking to get a little more media attention. "Hey Paula," a docudrama on the life of Paula Abdul (they had us at "Hey Paula"), has just debuted on Bravo and, according to MSNBC’s Andy Dehnart, it’s a very different Paula than we have ever seen.

There are actually two Paulas on Bravo’s new series: the diva and the comic. Paula is unexpectedly hysterical, occasionally throwing off witty one-liners. “The last time I had a hit record, Bill and Hillary were having sex,” she says. At another point, she mangles a self-effacing joke about Joan Rivers commenting on her clothing, and Paula manages to crack herself up.

Fun Paula, however, is less prominent than spoiled, demanding Diva Paula. On the way to the airport, for instance, she discovers her assistants haven’t packed sweat pants or comfortable jeans for her red-eye flight, but have instead chosen pants that Paula says are too tight.

Well, Paula, those booze/vicodin dinners probably cause bloating. But don’t go changing any time soon. A TV show that documents the life of someone who is self-imploding…we haven’t had this much fun since "Breaking Bonaduce!"

Source

Britney Spears, try as she might, just can’t kick her trashy togs tendencies.

She’s consulted professionals and expressed a desire to clean up her sartorial act and emulate Katie Holmes, but apparently can’t stop donning hideous outfits as she heads out for nights on the town.

Is there a 12-step program for an addiction to see-through synthetic, y’all?