Tori Spelling is the latest past-her-prime fatty to forcibly squeeze into the Pussycat Doll lineup. Despite her duties as a mom, wife, and reality television star, she was still able to take time off from her better paying job at Ivar’s to perform with the ugliest women in music. Ahoy! The sea witch has returned.

Next season’s contestants on "Dancing With the Stars" have been "leaked." I’m guessing this is the same kind of leak that happens when Paris Hilton calls the paparazzi to tell them where she is going to be and then feigns shock and horror when they actually show up. Yeah, that kind of leak. Anyway, the list is a veritable who’s who in the world of Has-Beens. TMZ has named them on their site, along with photos. Here is the list: Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth, Aaron Carter, Mark Cuban, Wayne Newton, Jane Seymour, Floyd Mayweather Jr., Nia Peeples, Richard Quest, Lou Ferrigno, Gisele Bundchen, Helio Castroneves, and Sabrina Bryan. Apparently Melanie Brown, a.k.a. Mel B., a.k.a. Scary Spice, is going to be involved in the show in some form, but not as a dancer. We’re guessing that her freaky deaky husband probably forbade her to dance.

Can’t you just read the tag line for this show? What happens when Donna Martin, the Hulk, and Proactiv-spokesperson-to-be Aaron Carter sashay into the world of dancing? Hilarity ensues!

The nice thing is that a bus will pick up the contestants after the show wraps and take them to their stint on "The Surreal Life."

Tori Spelling is so desperate for some publicity for her reality show she became a minister and married two gay guys at her bed and breakfast. Tori just can’t seem to pull out of her brown nose dive.

Apparently, Candy Spelling’s next pompous and condescendingly scathing letter might just have to be directed at her own daughter.

Well placed sources tell TMZ that Tori was a total terror while shooting promos for the second season of her Oxygen "reality" series, "Tori & Dean: Inn Love." We’re told the new mom was more than two hours late to the set and would not interact with other actors. Post-partum aggression! Sources say Tori was annoyed by the cast because they "looked too good."

They might have trouble finding people that make Tori actually look attractive. I hear the cavemen from the Geico commercials have some time on their hands.

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Britney Spears has been very busy lately trying to get more and more attention. She’s been working a little bit on an album that she wants her fans to name, and convincing her rational fans that she’s completely nutzo. More than anything Britney has been trashing her image with one nip slip, then another, and with a crotch shot (with panties) for good measure. With all that she’s garnered the attention of none other than Candy Spelling, who raised the incredibly well adjusted Tori Spelling. Once again Tori has written a letter to Britney, in which she admits being addicted to gossip blogs. Bwahaha.

Click below to read the tough love letter from Candy to Britney where she says things even Britney’s own mother is afraid to say.

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