Bai Ling has posed topless for Photographie Magazine. Bai is 37 years-old, and look at those nipples and breasts. She’s still hot. Chinese food = perky breasts, and a delicious meal.

Update: Wikipedia sucks sometimes. They have her age listed as 46, with a birthdate of October 10, 1961. Pffft. Her real birthdate is October 10, 1970, which makes her 37.

The pictures below are NSFW.

Joe Francis had a group of girls get a big monetary judgment in court when it was discovered they were underage, and his company Girls Gone Wild filmed them topless, and having sexy time with each other, despite video evidence showing they claimed they were at least 18 years-old. I guess it’s okay to hire illegal aliens, but not to hire underage girls who say they’re 18, but have no paperwork to prove it. TMZ reports:

The two girls who sued "Girls Gone Wild" executive Joe Francis for using their footage without their consent, but then had their stories refuted by video evidence, have dropped their suit against Francis and his company.

Brooke Patsolic and Christina Brose have issued a statement saying that they’ve "agreed to dismiss our lawsuit" and say that "Girls Gone Wild and Joe Francis have suffered as a result of this law suit [sic] and our actions." The women also make it clear that Francis and Mantra Films haven’t paid them a penny.

The women had their claims publicly slammed when video showing them consenting to being filmed was released on the Internet. "I am prepared to fight back, and I will defend myself against all baseless accusations," says Francis in a statement.

I hope Joe learned a valuable lesson here. Like when a girl says she’s taking "the pill," then she suddenly pops out a baby and says it’s yours. My friend was like, "Wow, I had no idea she was even pregnant. She said she was getting fat is all, and she got mad saying ’Don’t you trust me?’" True she was fat, but also pregnant. Trust is when you wear a condom.

I don’t know if being a whore is a requirement to be a celebrity, but it sure seems to help. I’m not even sure what Sienna Miller is famous for, except maybe sleeping with Sean Combs (Diddy). Sienna was flashing her boobs on the beach in Ibiza, Spain, and they look good. This brings me to a personal thought about genetic disabilities. Scientists are hoping that they may be able to cure some disease by turning some bad genes off, but other genes may be activated in the process. I wouldn’t mind if girls like Sienna were cured of a horrible disease, and in the process became genetically disabled so they could not stop themselves from walking around topless everywhere. Click the images above to see the NSFW pictures.

Britney Spears is like a tornado of bad news that is quickly becoming an F-5 Hurricane big enough to bring down a small third world country. Here’s a summary:

BRITNEY IS DRUNK AND NAKED - Another shocking revelation: “She drinks in front of the kids,” one former staffer says of Spears. “At first, the drinks would help her loosen up and not be so angry. But she’d inevitably drink too much and be out of it, at which point the nannies would take care of the kids.” And multiple sources confirm Spears’ exhibitionist streak: “She’ll strip down in front of staff, nannies, whomever,” says one. “She’ll ask, ‘Do I look sexy? Do I look pretty?’ She’s extremely insecure.”

BRITNEY IS GAY - Britney’s quick tryst with Matt Encinias made headlines, but the music-video extra wasn’t the real target of Brit’s affection that night. OK! has learned that Britney spent the evening topless, nuzzling up to her former assistant Shannon Funk! “Instead of hooking up with him, [Shannon] ended up back in Brit’s room and bed,” a source tells OK!. Britney has been experimenting with girls since her teen years. She even put the moves on porn queen Jenna Jameson. “Jenna told me that Britney hit on her and that she hooks up with girls,” says adult-movie actress Tera Patrick.

BRITNEY TELLS HER KIDS THEY WERE MISTAKES - “She makes out with men in front of the boys, refuses to change their diapers, puts whitening strips on their teeth.”

BRITNEYS BODYGUARD AND EX ASSISTANT SERVED - Shannon Funk was served late Tuesday night at the airport in Long Beach, Calif. Also on the list was the singer’s bodyguard Daimon Shippen, who was served late Monday night as he was getting out of his car in Santa Monica, Calif. Federline’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, is behind the subpoenas, which will be used to compel those close to Spears to discuss her parenting style.

BRITNEY WILL OPEN THE VMAs - one of the worst kept secrets is that Britney will perform at the MTV Video Music awards on September 9th in Vegas.

BRITNEY AND K-FED DIVORCE DOCUMENTS MAY OR MAY NOT STAY SEALED - The divorce and custody papers of KFed and Brit are currently sealed and not available to the public and their lawyers want to keep it that way. However, People Magazine and other outlets will ask the court to make these documents public on September 14th. They feel these records should be made public since they are public figures. The custody hearing will take place on September 17th.

If the press is writing headlines like these about you…you just might be a redneck. Oh, and Britney should be insecure. 1) She’s not pretty. 2) She’s not sexy. 3) She’s an alcoholic. 4) She’s a whore. 5) She doesn’t have a shred of talent anymore. 6) She doesn’t have a shred of credibility or decency anymore. 7) People hate her, and yet she still made the cover of Allure with the help of Photoshop…in my opinion.

Matt Encinias (aka unluckiest guy in the world), a 21-year-old college student, who looks like Jim Carrey, spent the night at Standard Hotel in the rooftop pool with a topless Britney Spears. She did try to disguise herself by wearing a hat and sunglasses at night in a pool. Who else would do that except "brainiac" Britney. I love how it takes two people to help drunk Britney walk above.

Us Weekly says:

Although Spears was expecting her two young sons to be dropped off at her Beverly Hills home at noon, the singer had arranged to have the pool reopened at 2 am for the exclusive use of her group, which included then-assistant Shannon Funk and some hand-picked male extras from her video shoot.

“Britney was the first one to undress, and then everyone else followed,” Encinias tells Us. “I turned around and saw that she was topless and she had fake tattoos of flowers on her nipples from the shoot. I was told all she wanted to do that night was kiss a boy. And that’s what she did. Mission accomplished.”

It was when the alcohol started running low that an inebriated Spears, 25, suggested a game of Truth or Dare. “I was dared to get naked and get out of the pool and walk as though I was on a catwalk in a fashion show,” says Encinias. “Britney was laughing really hard.”

The Sun UK adds:

Britney’s assistant hand-picked Mike and a group of male pals to go to her hotel for drinks by the pool.

Mike explained: “Britney was drinking Mojitos and she’d been drinking some Jack Daniel’s. Suddenly she shocked everyone by just stripping out of her top. She went into the pool topless - her boobs were exposed and she had a drink in her hand and a hat on with sunglasses.”

Mike says he kissed Britney after her assistant told him the singer wanted to “make out” with him.

He said: “She straddled me and put her legs around me. When I started kissing her I did everything in my power - from my previous experience of kissing girls - not to mess it up. Britney had more drinks - she was having Jack and more Mojitos in between me feeling her up, her boobs, and kissing her on her neck. Her body was very nice. It was sexual and sensual kissing. It took some effort to perfect. She is a great kisser - I’d actually say a phenomenal kisser.”

Mike was invited back to Britney’s suite once the party was over at 4am.

He said: “I went in and found Britney lying on the bed with her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on. “She was looking like she was ready - and I wanted to finalise it.”

He was planning to spend the rest of the night in her bed - until one of his friends collapsed and nearly drowned from all the booze he had downed.

Britney’s bodyguards stepped in and ordered Mike to take his mate home.

Mike added: “In the end we had to say our goodbyes.”

The homos wrote in and they say:

Dear Mike,

We heard you were handpicked to make out with Britney Spears. Thanks for taking one for the team!

Love,

Horrified Homosexuals Everywhere

Things like this happened to me all the time in college, except it was usually an old fat bearded professor inviting me over for a massage and drinks in his hot tub.