What appears to be a romantic dinner for newly weds Eva Longoria and Tony Parker, is really more publicity for Eva. Who invites the paparazzi to take pictures of your lunch? Eva does. Tony is her new career, and she appears to want this first year very well documented, and then she’ll cash out in my opinion. How long do you give these two? One year, two years?

Though Eva Longoria and Tony Parker received $2 million to give OK! Magazine exclusive access to their Paris nuptials, a la Star Jones, they still had sponsors pay for gifts for their guests. Pages Six reports:

Those invited to the insanely over-covered nuptials got $700 bracelets from French jeweler Van Cleef & Arpels, along with Bebe bags filled Vitamin Water, L’Oreal products for women and a Cole Haan kit for men. At least the lovebirds paid for their wedding rings and luxurious gifts for each other, but, "They didn’t purchase anything for their guests," said our insider. Even the tacky "Mrs. Parker" track suit Longoria sported before hopping on her honeymoon plane was a gift from Bebe, the fashion company she endorses. And with the press snapping the happy couple at every moment, swag-givers got plenty of press. Reps for Longoria, who’s now on her honeymoon in Turks & Caicos, would not confirm or deny details of the event to Page Six.

Ewww…

We know we’re supposed to be accustomed to the swag mentality and that it’s a big part of the fuel that drives the Hollywood party scene, but your wedding? For which you’ve already taken beaucoup bucks in exchange for pictures and private details?

Um…that’s French, because, like, Tony Parker is.

We’d also like to throw out – zuts alor!

And – ecoute le coude. Il chantait!

Why? Because we can. We’re classy like that.

Eva Longoria (32) and Tony Parker (25) got married in a civil ceremony in Paris today. The two will have a second ceremony tomorrow at Paris’s Eglise Saint-Germain l’Auxerrois, followed by a lavish celebration at Vaux-le-Vicomte. This is a great day for Eva. She’s getting the princess treatment. Let’s hope Tony keeps making the big bucks, because once the honeymoon is over so is the marriage. Good luck, I hope it lasts more than a year or two.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are currently in St. Tropez, France having a joint bachelor and bachelorette party before their wedding this weekend. Eva put on one bikini that looked like her great grandma wore it in the previous century, plus it looks like she pissed herself. She’s very giving, everybody got a massage, and high-fives from Eva too.

I don’t get the impression there’s a lot of passion between Eva and Tony. It looks more like Eva was looking for a permanent sugar daddy.

People. com has a little story about the excitement at NYC hotspot Butter the other night. Other outlets (including Page Six) claimed that Madonna notably shined Janet Jackson on, while partying with a number of famous friends.

Of course, it could be senility. Madonna is looking pretty haggard lately.

People is reporting this:

Madonna, Janet Jackson, Shakira, Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore and others were living it up in the club’s swank banquettes.

Looking comfortable in her créme getup with suspenders hanging at her waist and her hair in a ponytail, Madge made a grand entrance – accompanied by three bodyguards. During her 30-minute visit, her hit "Like a Prayer" was piped over the speakers. Around the same time, Jackson strolled in, looking slim, with her hair pulled back tightly into a pristine bun.

So, it’s established that Madonna and Jackson arrived around the same time.

Then, People details the activities all of these superstars, except Miss Jackson, as well as the movements of Penelope Cruz, David Blaine, and Tony Parker. (What? No Guy Ritchie or Gary Coleman?)

The story ends with: "At around 2:45, the group checked out, continuing their party at Bungalow 8."

Though there’s no actual mention of Madge ignoring the Rhythm Nation artist, one can infer that "the group" that went on to party at Bungalow 8 did not include Janet.

Let’s be charitable and venture a guess that Janet declined the invitation hoping to avoid catching that mysterious "old lady"/zombie arms disease.

Read it for yourself.