Jessica Simpson will co-host The View while Elisabeth Hasslebeck is on maternity leave, but only on November 15 and 16. The other day Jessica met President Bush, or someone who serves in a high office I forget who. When she walked into their house, like the White House, she said, "I love what you’ve done with the place." Expect a lot of comments like that for two days on The View, plus a lot of blank faced beauty queen waving, and smiling when other panel members ask her questions. Kind of like the Stepford Wives.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck will leave The View next month to go on maternity leave. She’s about to pop out baby number two. She is married to NFL quarterback Tim Hasselbeck. The couple have a daughter named Grace who is two years-old. It won’t be the same without Elisabeth. Who’s going to provide the conservative balance? Someone will have to temporarily fill her spot. How about Donald Trump, or his daughter Ivanka Trump?

A black loud mouthed, unfunny, ugly as a rhino’s butt, obnoxious, trashy, low class woman with the last name of a Jew has replaced a woman with the exact same qualifications, except the other one was also a lesbian and she didn’t make it till the end of her one year contract, but that doesn’t mean Whoopi isn’t any better or worse. I am referring of course to Whoopi Goldberg who is now the new moderator of The View. My friend has an outstanding reward of $5,000 he’ll pay to anyone who can provide him with an example of Whoopi Goldberg being funny, intentionally. He has yet to pay it out. I think Whoopi won an award for least funny comedian ever. Whoopi was the second to receive the award, Rosie O’Donnell got the first. The smartest girl to ever be on this show yet was the Chinese girl Lisa Ling who quit in 2002. The View is where burned out celebrities go when their career is in the gutter. That show would have a bigger female audience if the producers replaced all the women with a puppet show, and short clips of guys getting kicked in the balls.

Click here if you need something to put you to sleep.

Rosie O’Donnell unveiled a beautiful photo of Elisabeth Hasselbeck with devil horns drawn on her while on the Rosie Gay Cruise according to Us Weekly. She went on to say that Elisabeth’s “only f_ _ king credit was ‘Survivor!’ Come on!” She followed that lovely sentiment with, “I can’t fight with pregnant people. Just go have your baby and have a nice life.”

Remember Rosie’s writer on The V‪iew initially drew the mustache on Elisabeth at The View studio? Now we know who told her to do that.

To Rosie’s credit, the only time she can win a battle of words and personal beliefs with Elisabeth appears to be when Elisabeth isn’t around to defend herself.

P.S. The pregnant people comment is so intolerant Rosie. What if someone said "I can’t fight with lesbians. Just go eat snatch and have a nice life". She’d be so ~offended~ ya’ll! She’s just jealous that her lifestyle doesn’t allow her to get pregnant unless it’s unnatural insemination.

I’m tired of Rosie’s heterosexual bashing. Every time Rosie opens her loud mouth she just proves over and over what an intolerant and disrespectful piece of crap she is. Anyone who loves Rosie also loves to suck on horse turds, and their breath proves it.

We’ll call this a solid rumor. Insiders at ABC’s The View have hinted that Whoopi Goldberg will replace Rosie O’Donnell on the daytime blabber-fest. Other hopefuls included Kathy Griffin, Rosanne Barr, Ricki Lake and Gayle King.

Whoopi reportedly got the inside track based on her experience and the fact that she’s a New Yorker. The producers must be hoping that Whoopi will serve as a toned-down version of Rosie (who has a tendency to step on some toes).

Hopefully, the show won’t get too bland, though. As funny as Whoopi is, some of the best moments on The View come when the hosts are at each other’s throats. Maybe she’ll slap Barbara Walters if the ratings sag. Then even I’d watch the show.