Britney Spears Sex Tape

The Sun UK has been doing a lot of sex tape reporting lately that requires the kind of fact checking that Britney Spears uses to decide if she wants to wear clothes or not. Her motto, "Just do it," much like The Sun UK’s fact checking. The report says that Britney met a random guy in Hawaii for some casual sex, and they casually video taped it. The guy says he’s too embarrassed by his lame performance to release the tape. The Sun reports:

The man in question says he met the singer on holiday in June and taped their alleged night of lust in Britney’s hotel room. However, according to the unnamed man, the romp was a bit of a damp squib. He reportedly told a US magazine: “It was just normal sex, we didn’t do anything crazy. It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out.”

The Sun said the Eva Longoria sex tape was real, and that turned out to be untrue. After seeing Britney barely move, and gasping for air after only a few minutes shuffling her walker around the VMA stage, I don’t see her lasting 25 minutes having sex, even if she just laid there. Unless of course there was foreplay first, which would consist of eating a buffet of food for 24 minutes, then 1 minute of sex. After which, Britney would eat her new lover for desert.

Katie Holmes Takes Time for Fans

It’s always nice to see stars take time for their fans. After all, aren’t we the people who butter their bread with our support? Katie Holmes stopped and tried to do a one handed picture, but completely missed herself. Fortunately The Sun snapped the whole thing going down, and they’ll probably sell this guy a HQ copy for a couple of thousand bucks. Still, he got more than he was hoping for, he got his picture in the paper, and on the gossip blogs. I think I’ve seen this guy’s match.com profile, and it says he’s 28 years-old, has six pack abs, and the stamina of six wild horses. Rarrr.

Look Magazine Prints a Bunch of Lies About Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston’s rep is calling Look magazine’s report that she ran into Brad and daughter Shiloh a load of bullocks. The magazine’s claims that she also plans on visiting her ex, Paul Sculfor, in London are also a bunch of hooey.

An article in the new issue of Look magazine (excerpted by The Sun claims that Aniston recently ran into Pitt and his daughter in a restaurant, and that she has plans to fly to London to see Sculfor on a regular basis.

“I was very sad last month when he went back to live in London,” the magazine "quotes" Aniston, 38. “But I’m going to be buying a lot of return tickets to Europe in the next few months so we can see each other.”

However, Aniston’s rep, Stephen Huvane, says that the article is a work of fiction.

"The interview never happened,” says Huvane. “The events like Jennifer running into Brad with Shiloh at a restaurant is completely false as well, as are all the events and quotes they attribute to Jennifer."

Look also falsely quotes the actress admitting that she was “turning into Bridget Jones” after she and Pitt, 43, divorced, spending days “lying on the floor surrounded by ice cream.”

Look, Look, if you’re going to just completely make something up, you could at least do better than calling her the real-life Bridget Jones. Why not say something like "Jennifer Aniston flew into a rage after running into Brad’s ex, Angelina, at a restaurant in NYC. She threw the three peas on Angelina’s plate at her and pulled her hair, all the while screaming ‘You’re a pillow-lipped, husband-stealing, blood-wearing, baby-collecting anorexic lesbian whore!’"

Source

Amy Winehouse Drug Overdose

The Sun UK is reporting today that Amy Winehouse was admitted to the hospital for a drug overdose, and not exhaustion as her record company reported. The Sun says Amy was given adrenaline and her stomach pumped. Let’s get technical for a moment. Adrenaline would be used only if Amy was having a circulatory collapse from her heart stopping, or a severe lack of fluids, but they would simply give her fluids intravenously first. Adrenaline causes the heart to beat fast, and so do some drugs, which means that it is unlikely she received adrenaline, unless staff thought she was overdosing and having a very severe allergic reaction to something, and couldn’t give her benadryl due to its sedative side effect. It is likely her stomach was pumped. First they might try gastric lavage to try to get out pill fragments, but in this case staff shove a big tub down her throat and into her stomach. Bottles of activated charcoal are then fed into the tube to absorb any drugs still in her stomach. The gastric lavage part is technically the stomach pumping. The drug used to stop the drugs in her blood from working is usually Narcan, but it is most effective with opiate drugs, so it really depends on what she overdosed on.

Amy needs to be involuntarily admitted for a psychiatric consult, and then shipped off to involuntary rehab, because now it’s a life or death situation.

It’s a wonder Amy has any fans left at all. She doesn’t show up to half her concerts, and yet she still gets nominated for awards. I wouldn’t give her a job as a scarecrow, even though she’d probably be darn good at it.

Lily Allen Calls Paris Hilton Hideous and Amy Winehouse a Faker

Gotta love Lily Allen. She just tells it like it is, even about herself! We like this so much better than when she’s whining on MySpace.

The latest pearls about Paris Hilton, the Sun is reporting, are howlers:

"I think Paris is amazing. I mean she’s hideous, but I think she’s amazing at the same time.

"I love her. I think The Simple Life is genius. I can never figure out if she plays up to it or not.”

It’s not the first time feisty Lil has taken a pot shot at the blonde heiress.

She once labelled her "useless and hideously untalented" and suggested people who bought her debut album should be killed off.

The Smile singer also rubbished her rival Amy Winehouse’s singing ability.

She added: “I think she has a cool voice. But saying that, I don’t think it’s her real voice.”

An Amy/Lily street battle to the death may not be a stretch, though it could go either way. Winehouse will either come out swinging, or retreat into private to cut herself.

Tune in tomorrow, when Lily Allen might claim that she was drunk when she did this interview because she’s an alcoholic. Or that she was talking crazy because she was weak from an eating disorder brought on by Hollywood’s unrealistic expectations. Or that she just had PMS.

All revelations are possible with loose-cannon Allen.