Gavin Beasley gave an interview to Best Week Ever yesterday making the claim that The Hills is entirely scripted. I thought something wasn’t right. It seems to take them hours to setup the lighting, get the hair and makeup right, setup the scene, turn those pages … pages? OMG it is scripted. Here’s what Gavin said:

On being set up with Lauren:
“Then in August I got a call from my agency to go to a casting call for Teen Vogue, and Lauren and the camera crews just so happened to be there. She remembered me from our shoot, and the next thing I know, a producer’s asking me to ask Lauren for her number, and I’m signing release forms and being shot for The Hills. They wanted me to ask her about the runway show, how long she had worked that day, when would she get off, stuff like that.”

On meeting Lauren’s ex Brody:
“Like, they totally set up the BBQ scene for Brody and I to meet each other and talk because, as they said, ‘the audience would get a kick out of seeing ‘the ex’ talking to ‘the new guy’.’ So they rent this house in Malibu for a set, bought a bunch of food and drinks, and just filmed us hanging out. Brody would talk all this sh*t, then be like, ‘Sorry about that, we’re just trying to make good television.’”

On his “date” with Lauren:
“I honestly had a really hard time talking to her – she’s kind of a conversation killer, and when the cameras are rolling, all conversation is kept firmly on the surface…. In fact, the most interesting thing I got out of her was that she isn’t allowed to eat ice cream because her trainer told her she can’t.”

All shows, reality shows included, have a good amount of scripting. The only show that has little or no scripting is COPS. Unless they pay people to act like idiots, run from them, pee in the street, yell profanity (bleep bleep bleep), and pass out while smashing their head through a wall. If people really knew how boring it was to be rich and privileged we might just be satisfied being ordinary. If that happened how would people like Britney ever get rich and famous? That’s Heidi Montag showing off her fake breasts below, and Lauren Conrad above pretending to be super duper excited about her latest shopping trip.

Billionaire Sir Richard Branson launched Virgin America’s three daily flights between San Francisco and Las Vegas yesterday. Richard had his hands all over all the hot female celebrities. He picked up Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra, but just put his arms around The Hills stars Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge, which is like shaking their hand after a date. After all the hottie handling Richard dropped 407 feet off the roof of the Palms in Las Vegas. The wind was really strong so it pushed him into the building bruising his butt and cutting his hand. He limped away from the stunt. It could have been worse. He could have caught his nuts on a rusty nail, or slept with Pamela Anderson, then spent the rest of his life and fortune trying to cure the incurable STDs she gave him.

There are few girls more worthless than those from The Hills, but when Audrina Patridge, or any of them flashes their crotch, even covered by panties, it’s worth talking about. The other girls better step up their game. Audrina is way ahead of the pack. Now all she needs to do is start getting drunk every night, addicted to drugs, pregnant, and start neglecting her future kids, and she’ll have X17 following her around filling her tank every time she runs out of gas.

This is Audrina Patridge (22) from MTV’s The Hills. Directors from the show are careful to keep a life guard on duty in the event that Audrina ventures too far out into the water. She doesn’t know how to swim, and right now she can’t afford a pair of life preservers, which are commonly referred to in Hollywood as fake boobs.

According to 24/Sizzler, K-Fed has forsaken The Hills for the sake of just one…One Tree Hill, that is.

Kevin Federline surprisingly passed on a seemingly lucrative offer from Brody Jenner this past weekend in Las Vegas: To have a cameo on The Hills! But Kevin’s not worried: He just landed a stint on the CW’s One Tree Hill!

On Sunday night at Rehab at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Brody and The Hills star Audrina Patridge were partying with their own group of friends, but at one point, they left their poolside cabana to mingle with Kevin’s posse. “Brody invited Kevin over to the Palms to make a cameo in The Hills,” a spy tells 24Sizzler.com. “Kevin declined the offer, though, deciding to stay at the Hard Rock.” (Kevin and Brody did bond though: Kevin lent Brody some of his pimp bling for him to pose in a few photos).

According to one Federline insider, Kevin, who’s in need of a gig, made the right decision: “With all the custody drama going on right now, and who’s a better parent, and who’s partying, I don’t think it’s the best idea for Kevin to get too involved with another group of Young Hollywood types who go out every night,” the source tells 24Sizzler.com.

I’m no agent, but I don’t think K-Fed should be turning down ANY roles these days. If Siegfried and Roy call him up and ask him to get down on all fours and growl like a lion, his only question should be "What time?" Kudos to him for passing on an opportunity to hit one more party, though. Do you hear that, Britney? That’s the seconds of the clock ticking away until the nice men in white coats come to take you away.