If you’ve been living in a cave in Pakistan perhaps you have yet to hear that Usher is engaged to stylist Tameka Foster. The couple were in Las Vegas doing some shopping, which allowed an opportunity to get a closer look at Tameka’s face. Yes that really is Usher’s woman.

Maybe in an alternate universe Tameka could be a woman, but he/she looks like a dude! Even weirder, it almost looks like Usher is engaged to himself. This is how I imagine Jessica Simpson would look in black face. Not long ago Usher was complaining that he couldn’t find a boygirlfriend. I had no idea he was gay until today. Please try to focus. I know this is difficult. Just take some deep breaths.

Usher confirmed Monday that his mother Jonnetta Patton is no longer in charge of his career, but denied the break was due to any rift. Rumor is Tameka wanted his momager gone, and poof she was gone.

Sandra Rose was the first to report that Tameka Foster is knocked up with Usher’s baby. Usher recently confirmed the two are engaged. However, YBF is now reporting that the baby belongs to Tameka’s ex-husband, Ryan Glover. She’s four-months pregnant and has three children with Ryan.

Apparently, Tameka and Usher broke up for a brief moment and that’s when she got knocked up by Ryan. Sources say that Usher is using Tameka and the baby as publicity for his new album dropping in November. Rumor is that he will claim the baby as his own.

Sorry, ladies, but Usher is officially off the block. Sources say the R&B icon is engaged to his longtime girlfriend and stylist Tameka Foster. "It’s 100 percent official," said an insider. The couple began dating more than a year ago, but tried to keep it quiet – going so far as denying their relationship – but they recently became more open with their love. "She is wearing a beautiful ring," said a friend of Usher, "and he’s been introducing her as his fiancée."

Sources say that Jonetta Patton is "flipping out" about the impending nuptials, as she isn’t thrilled with the candidate for daughter-in-law.

A rep for Usher declined comment.