LiLo’s Film Gets Laughs Even Though It’s Not a Comedy

Defamer had an insider at the screening for Lindsay Lohan’s latest film, "I Know Who Killed Me." No word yet on whether her final answer was, "The black kid did it." Apparently, they weren’t even going to do the screening for obvious reasons, and some actually found it to be more a comedy than a psychological thriller.

Also, in the scene where Lindsay gets hit in the face with a shovel– a scene meant to be terrifying–the audience erupted into laughter. Another not-funny-but-funny moment: when Lilo’s stripper character who may or may not be suffering from a split personality is being questioned by cops, she refers to her mother as "a crackwhore, disgusting, pathetic"…ouch Dina! The line was received by riotous laughter.

If only Lilo’s character had a father who was gang raped in prison. The film would have been a shoo-in for comedy of the year!

L.A. Bash to Welcome Beckhams Draws Stars, Katie Holmes Dresses Better Than Victoria

The guest list read like a Who’s Who in Hollywood and then some.

Predictably, Jada Pinkett Smith looked angry.

Avoiding smiling at all costs, Victoria Beckham teetered around on the most strippified, stripper shoes we’ve ever seen while narrowly avoiding flashing the cameras. Hey guys! Check out my new wax!!

And Katie Holmes appeared demure, classy and gorgeous as she towered over hubby Tom Cruise. Hey guys! Never mind Posh, check out the heels on MY shoes!

Also present to get their pictures taken…er…welcome the Beckhams were Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy, Brooke Shields and husband Chris Henchy, and pretty much anyone else who doesn’t want to be on Jada’s bad side. Hey guys! You better not be writing mean things about my very close friends, the amazing and wonderful Cruises.

We’re not kidding…she gives the scariest evil looks.

Check out Jada’s mean eyes and see lots more photos…

Mariah Carey Follows “Glitter” with Another Assault on Cinema

How did we not know about this?

Oh yeah, because we stopped paying attention after Mariah Carey morphed into a cartoon of herself. Blaming the failure of Glitter on September 11th. Getting spray-on tans made of real gold. Posing in evening gowns with homeless guys.

That Mariah is making another movie and, frankly, we’re shocked that we weren’t aware of this celluloid threat looming on the horizon before it reached post-production. Guess it’s too late now to gather the villagers and pitchforks.

Her character’s name in this one? Krystal. That’s right! With a "K."

Mariah making movies is like every fantasy role-playing game we played as bored and precocious 8-year-olds, except nobody filmed it, we didn’t have that "aspiring-stripper" bent, and we had to be home before the streetlights came on.

But, wait! Page Six says that early reviews are good.

Word from the set is she’s "really, really good" in it - "It might be the cinema equivalent to the Red Sox winning the World Series," we’re told.

Nice try, anonymous producer-type who stands to make at least a little money if we’re dumb enough to fork over $8 opening weekend.

Now our dander is up. We know the Red Sox, Ms. Carey, and you’re no Boston Red Sox.

George Clooney Feels Guilty for His Effect on Italian Town

George Clooney joined 300 residents in signing a petition against development in the town of Laglio on Lake, MSNBC reports.

“Yes I signed it. Almost every member of the town signed it,” the 46-year-old actor said in an e-mail to The Associated Press on Friday.

“My concern is that this village that has stood for hundreds of years would be destroyed simply because I happened to have lived there for the last six years. I told my neighbors that I would do what they wanted. And it seemed that they didn’t want to demolish the harbor where all the local fishermen keep their boats,” Clooney said.
Clooney, who won an Oscar for his role in “Syriana,” said the petition appeared to have had the desired effect, and that the mayor had announced Thursday that at least some of the plans — which opponents say would damage the environment as well as the 18th-century old harbor — had been scrapped.

“The petition, signed by three-fourths of the town, seems to have proved the difference. It’s a testament to the character of the people in Laglio,” the actor said.

Clooney’s 15-bedroom villa on Lake Como is impressive and legendary for housing his superstar friends, but it’s not nearly as exclusive as one might think. He reportedly took a "dancer" there, remember?

We’re all for preserving traditions and protecting old towns. It’s just that, as thoughtful and civically responsible as Clooney’s actions are, the no-more-growth approach smacks of a NIMBY thing…or even post-gentrification exclusion.

The place is so great, but now that he’s found it he wants to preserve the throwback, relaxed lifestyle and nobody else should come?

Just doesn’t seem fair to Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, et al.

They’ve probably fallen in love with the town now, too.

George Clooney’s Steamy Fling with Stripper Single Mother Detailed in Tabloid

So many quotes in this story left us howling that we’re linking to it here so you can enjoy the whole thing with your Monday morning cup of tea.

Make sure it’s PG tips. Ha!

One favorite passage is below.

Poor George Clooney. All he wants is a little privacy!  And maybe a little discretion from the strippers he flies around the world and allows to sleep in separate beds.

Let us set the scene.

According to the Mirror, the story of the huge movie star and the British "lapdancer" starts at her place of employment in Las Vegas, where she resides with her mother and her 11-year-old son.

The former model revealed: "I kind of bumped into him and said, ‘You’re George Clooney!’ He smiled and said, ‘Hey, come and hang out with us’.

"He was sweet and non-offensive. He liked that I was British and we talked about home a lot.

"We talked about his place in Lake Como, Italy, and he invited me and my friend there for summer.

"He was respectful and didn’t even ask for a dance."

Despite other lapdancers buzzing around him, he had eyes only for her. Sarah added: "I didn’t care that he was George Clooney.

We don’t know about you, but that’s how all our best flings start, bumping into potential lapdancees while we’re naked, securing their undivided attention with our cool former-model/stripper moves. We’re always particularly impressed when they respect us so much they don’t even pay us for a dance.

Sadly, the tale ends as all great stories do, with the lovers drifting apart, most likely because the lapdancer doesn’t have text messages activated on her phone when she’s in England.

You’ve got to wonder how many text messages lonely, attentive George sent before he just gave up, thinking she’d tired of him, his fancy private jet, castle on the lake, and lovingly prepared breakfasts.