Britney Spears Could Go to Jail

Britney Spears was ordered by a judge to take parenting classes and abstain from alcohol 12 hours before seeing her children. The next day she went partying at the clubs. Attorney John Schweitzer said this to Star Magazine:

On ignoring the judge’s orders
“By going out like this she is really running the risk of losing custody of her kids. The judge is now going to watch very move she makes. The judge gets the newspaper like everyone else and he will take something like this into consideration until his final ruling is made.”

On the legal consequences Britney could face
“Some of the punishments could include holding her in contempt of court, which could result in a fine, imprisonment or both. Or, the judge gives more visitation rights to the other parent, in this case Kevin, or, he can take the children away if he feels Britney is not focusing on the best interest of the children.”

On what Britney should do to keep her kids
“If I were her lawyer I would tell her to lie low, stay in the house and spend time reading to her sons and doing arts and craft projects with them to enforce learning and bonding.”

They put warning labels on things like Preparation H just for people like Britney. It says, "DO NOT TAKE THIS ORALLY." You know that label is there because someone wrote them a letter:

"Dear P H,

I took your product, and now my mouth is so small I can’t even eat a jell bean, and I still got them hemorrhoids, but I can whistle really good."

Britney Spears Again Spiraling Out of Control

We’ve seen the pictures. We already know. Brit-Brit is a hot mess.

Now even MSNBC is passing along tabloid details on the areas where Britney Spears is just losing it.

Spears is “drinking heavily again, binge shopping and eating like there’s no tomorrow,” according to Star magazine. What’s more, the "Toxic" singer is jeopardizing her cherished relationship with kid sister Jamie Lynn because of her ongoing feud with her mother, Lynne.

“On several occasions, I have seen her pouring alcohol into energy drink cans,” a source told the tab. And, says one insider: “Britney requests that her alcohol be served in carafes rather than in bottles. Once, a waitress made the mistake of bringing her a bottle. Brit grabbed her arm and told her she couldn’t be seen with it.”…

Spears reportedly caused a scene at the L.A. nightclub Joseph on June 25. The singer stripped down to a purple bra and “was dancing and singing her own music, which she brought in,” an “observer” told Star.

Ooh! A new twist on the vodka or champagne in the water bottle trick.

Though if Britney wants to keep her implosion under cover, she should try keeping her shirt on.

Read more…

Nicole Richie is Having a Boy

Star Magazine claims that Nicole Richie is having a baby boy. It has been reported that Nicole is 12-weeks knocked up with Joel Madden’s baby. 2 weeks ago Nicole and Joel were spotted buying thousands of dollars worth of "boy stuff" at Bel Bambini.

A source said, “I asked them if they were shopping for a friend and they said, no. It was obvious they were buying for themselves. When they got to the register, Nicole whispered to Joel, ‘Wait till my dad finds out.’ She was giddy the entire time, and you could tell she was excited to be there.”

I still can’t imagine Nicole carrying a healthy baby to term with her skeletal frame. Her wishbone is gonna break if she tries to deliver the natural way.

Britney Spears Updates Website and Sends Poem to Mom

Britney Spears already wrote a letter to the paparazzi apologizing for the umbrella incident, but she decided that wasn’t enough and posted an update to her official website with the same stupid garbage.

I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella. I was preparing my character for a roll in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my rolls very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part.

By the looks of her, she certainly does take her rolls seriously. You’d think her second time around she’d catch her spelling mistakes or at least make sense, but you’d be wrong. Gee I wonder who got the role in this fictional movie, and what the fictional movie’s name is. I’m thinking it’s called "Regarding an Umbrella," where a bald headed crazy chick with an umbrella beats an empty SUV until the umbrella breaks.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug. Britney really is delusional! I bet she hears voices too.

Has anyone seen the Family Guy where Britney rolls out on stage in a wheelchair all fat and bloated and says" I’m still sexy even though I lost a leg to diabetes" and then performs a sad rendition of her first hit? We are only a year away from this performance.

According to Star Magazine, Britney Spears is still pissed off at her mother for "pushing her" into rehab, so she wrote her mom a poem is entitled "Dear Mama."

A source said the poem says “that she didn’t have a mom anymore and she couldn’t imagine a mother doing what she did to her child."

Britney delivered the poem along with a legal letter to her mother last week. She told her mother ‘Here Momma, I just wanted to see your face,’” a source told Star. “Then she got into her car and drove off. Lynne went into the trailer and broke down in tears.”

She also allegedly gave her mother a CD of private phone conversations between Lynne Spears and Kevin Federline taken by a private investigator. In the conversations K-Fed and Lynne set up times that she can secretly see her grandchildren. Recording those conversations is illegal isn’t it? How does Britney thinks this makes her look like a good mother? Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Victoria Beckham Wins Damages for False Story

Thank goodness for freedom of speech in America. Here’s more:

Victoria Beckham accepted undisclosed damages Monday from a celebrity magazine that claimed the crew of her U.S. TV show considered her "picky, demanding and rude."

Victoria sued Star magazine over an April article that claimed staff working on the NBC show had also described her as "full of herself and not very nice."

Beckham’s lawyer, Gerrard Tyrrell, told Britain’s High Court that filming hadn’t started at the time the story was published.

"The story was therefore completely inaccurate and defamatory of Ms. Beckham," he said.

Northern & Shell PLC, which publishes the magazine, apologized and agreed to pay Beckham’s legal costs and "substantial" damages. The amount of damages wasn’t disclosed.

"Victoria Beckham: Coming to America" will air July 16.

Another case that hinged on what the meaning of the word "is" is.