While dining with the U.K. Prime Minister Simon Cowell said:

"I have decided to freeze myself when I die. You know, cryonics. You pay a lot of money and you get stuck in a deep freeze once you’ve been declared dead. Medical science is bound to work out a way of bringing us back to life in the next century or so, and I want to be available when they do. I would be doing the nation an invaluable service."

Simon was probably joking, but if not then we’ve got some meteor insurance we’d like to sell him for $250,000.

Mark Mudd auditioned on American Idol in Louisville, Kentucky, and sang a George Jones song called White Lightning. From the start the judges all prejudged Mark, and made comments that showed their obvious lack of understanding for his southern culture. After the judges gave Mark the thumbs down left with the following comment:

"Be careful in whatever you do."

Paula Abdul immediately shot back:

"Is that a threat?"

Whoa! Simmer down Paula. It’s just southern slang, and it’s meant to mean something like "take care."

After American Idol realized how offended southerners might be they issued the following apology:

"We apologize to any viewers who were offended by the misinterpretation of the contestant’s comment to "be careful" upon completion of his audition in Louisville, KY. Our visits to audition cities are relatively brief and sometimes regional greetings and salutations are lost in translation. We had not heard that phrase from any other contestants during the day, so it took everyone by surprise. We now know better and look forward to visiting Louisville again someday."

The judges might also apologize for mocking Mudd as he walked into the room. It’s obvious they saw him as white trash, and prejudged him before he even opened his mouth. Sad.

Katrina Darrell shocked the judges of American Idol when she walked in wearing a skimpy bikini. The newest judge Kara DioGuardi immediately disliked Katrina, and let her know it. Fortunately, Simon Cowell, and Randy Jackson voted to send Katrina to Hollywood, which caused Paula Abdul to vote with the guys. Kara was so mad she even tried to do a sing off with Katrina, but Katrina responded coldly that Kara’s demonstration wasn’t any better. BURN! There is will be an ongoing cat fight between a judge and a contestant, especially if Katrina were to perform every song in the same bikini. HA!

Ryan Seacrest was also a bit tongue tied, especially when slutty Katrina kissed and tried to make out with him by the pool.

Later DioGuardi talked to Ryan about Darrell further saying:

"To her credit, she’s gotten so much attention. It was probably a good call to wear the bikini at the end of the day, but we wouldn’t be talking about the bikini if she killed the song."

Asked by Seacrest if she’d send through a "pretty" girl before a "cute" girl, DioGuardi said, "It’s hard to say. But pretty and cute … they’re important. It’s a visual medium. You’re going to see people on the covers and in the press."

"Of course, I want a pretty girl," she said, "but I’m not just looking for a pretty girl; I’m looking for an incredible voice, great stage presence. I’m a big champion of women. I’m not the kind of woman who’s going to drag a woman down."

"I vote for women," DioGuardi said. "I love women and want them to succeed."

Kara DioGuardi should know, she’s beautiful herself, and she can’t say that didn’t help her career. However, that doesn’t mean she won’t try to derail Darrell’s chances of winning the competition.

Darrell will add an Antonella Barba spark to the show however. So far we’ve found some modeling work by Darrell on lovinlife.ca, but we’re hoping to find pics with far less clothes to share with you.

With the ratings 10 percent lower for this season premiere compared to last season, the show needs a little controversy and spark to get people watching.

Paula Abdul had a long talk with Barbara Walters about her 17 year stalker who ended up killing herself in front of Paula’s home. Paula claims Simon Cowell and American Idol have been trying to destroy her career, and make her look bad, even going so far as to blame her appearance of being on drugs or alcohol on both Simon and American Idol.

Paula can’t blame others for her own behavior. Now that Paula is lashing out at American Idol the way Rosie lashed out at Barbara Walters, we can begin some serious discussion about Paula leaving American Idol.

Sharon Osbourne first accused Simon Cowell of hiring Dannii Minogue because he "fancied her." Now Dannii (36) is in a jealous cat fight over Simon with Cheryl Cole (25), who has joined The X Factor judges. Dannii has been rumored to be losing her judging job next year, but she says Simon has assured her she will remain, so now she’s coming out swinging to the News of the World saying:

“This year has been very emotional and I admit I’ve struggled to deal with it all, especially with Simon, who is the biggest diva on the show. Mariah Carey doesn’t even compare to him!"

“I guess Simon and I don’t talk much any more, definitely nothing like last year when I was next to him on the panel and was also the new girl."

“He moved me away from him and now sits next to Cheryl, and is in her ear all the time. It is a snub, but I’m fine. It’s nothing compared to what I had to go through last year.”

Of the rift between herself and Cheryl, Dannii said:

“I actually talk to Cheryl now more than I talk to Simon. It’s a very different atmosphere behind the scenes but I’m strong enough to keep on going and try and ignore all the negativity.”

Which will prevail?: the young pretty girl, or the older and wiser, but insecure, woman?

Simon admits he’s shallow, but he also loves his success, so whoever can help make The X Factor continue to be successful is the one who will stay.