Jack Osbourne, seen here as part of a skank sandwich, apparently did "the dirty" with none other than jailbird Paris Hilton.

Oh Jack, hero to the decidedly uncool and schlumpy strivers of the world.

It’s a tad disturbing that it’s his parents, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, who are telling the tale, but it’s awesome nonetheless.

According to The Sun, the secret was revealed unintentionally, but the parents were quite proud of their overachieving son.

Ozzy said: “Paris was always hanging around our house. I’m not sure if she was a friend of KELLY or AMY — which one was it, Sharon?”

Sharon looked a bit sheepish and stumbled over her words as she replied: “She was Jack’s, erm, friend.” Ozzy’s jaw dropped and he exclaimed: “He didn’t shag her, did he? Well done, my son!”

The Sun story goes on to include chatter about them selling their Beverly Hills home to Christina Aguilera and how they just couldn’t stay there any longer with all the strange visitors and stalkers.

Funny, though, the rest of the story is kind of a blur. All we could think about is how we’d like to high five Jack.

Of course, then our thoughts wandered to whether Jack took the proper precautions when he was with Paris.

Now, we’re thinking we’d like to high five him, but wearing gloves.

And goggles.

Read more…

Brandy has been replaced by Sharon Osbourne as a judge on the upcoming season of America’s Got Talent.

The decision might have a lot to do with Brandy’s involvement in a December freeway crash that claimed a woman’s life. The City Attorney has yet to file charges. Do producers of America’s Got Talent know something the rest of us don’t?

Sharon Osbourne has warned her detractors that she likes to send boxes of excrement to her enemies.

The X Factor judge last sent one of her special packages out to an American journalist who commented on her children’s weight four years ago.

"I must have a thing, not about s***ting but about sending it to people. I’ve done it for an awfully long time. I suppose I find it funny," she told the Guardian’s Weekend magazine. "I mean, I don’t just do it to anybody. They have to have done something really bad.

"The last turd? Three … No, four years ago: when the first review came out of The Osbournes. And it was from a newspaper in America, a very legit one, not the American version of the Mirror or The Sun.

"The journalist said something about my kids being fat, and how unappealing that was. And I thought any journalist worth their salt would never write that about children in the society that we live in today. I said: ’I heard you’ve got an eating disorder. Eat this.’"

Are you on Sharon’s sh*t list? I’d rather have a lump of coal in my stocking.

It’s almost like Sharon Osbourne can read my mind in the interview she did below:

Sharon Osbourne has given her own verdict on the Madonna adoption row, saying "She bought a baby for God’s sake."

Sharon, 53, told US radio host Howard Stern: "It’s like getting a Louis Vuitton handbag."

"It’s a crock of s***. If she wants to help the kid she should have got the father a little trade going, a fruit stand or something like that and built him a mud hut."

"If the kid is sick then get him a doctor, what was the father supposed to do, he can’t read or write."

She added: "She should have left him in his own culture, that is what I say."

"Madonna should have given the money to an orphanage, got them a 24-hour paramedic. She bought a baby for God’s sake."

I wonder if Patrick Swayze tastes like chicken. Here’s more:

Sharon Osbourne’s dog has plenty of bite like her owner – after sinking its teeth into Hollywood star Patrick Swayze.

The Pomeranian pooch, named Minnie, lunged at the Dirty Dancing star as he was interviewed on Sharon’s ITV1 chatshow last night. Wary Patrick came on and said: “Hello Minnie, you’re looking as though you might bite my head off.”

But tough-talking X Factor judge Sharon insisted: “No, she’s lovely, a lovely little dog.” Then the dog pounced, causing the surprised actor to yell: “You don’t mess with Minnie!”

Shocked Sharon said: “She didn’t mean it – she bites me all the time!”

Meanwhile, she admitted during a chat with X Factor’s Chico that she has put on some weight after “shovelling down fish and chips”.