Hugh Jackman took his wife to Mr. Chow for some good food and conversation. When they left she made him carry her purse. He isn’t embarrassed because he married her so people wouldn’t call him gay when he carried around his purse, and said it was his wife’s. Upon arriving to their car there were fans and photogs. Amazingly, all the fans had framed copies of Hugh as Wolverine from X-Men. I carry around a wallet size Wolverine picture. I also wear X-Men underwear, and the last time I tried to get him to sign them, he said only in private. Nice! Hugh also mentioned he is changing his name to Chow Chow. He said if you say it normal like Chow Chow, then it’s a place to eat or a dog’s name, but if you say it soft and sexy like Choooow Choooow, then that’s him.

Ever since the naked picture of Vanessa Hudgens hit the Internet more stories of her sending nude pictures to other guys have surfaced. Here’s the latest:

…Ms. Hudgens, the perky-breasted, eighteen-year-old star of High School Musical, are actually stills from an autoerotic sex-video she made for Nickelodeon star Drake Bell two years ago.

According to THEM Weekly, Ms. Hudgens’ sex video, coyly entitled Open Me First, was made “as a gag Christmas gift” and emailed to Mr. Bell, who denies ever seeing it.

“Drake never opened the video-first, last, or otherwise,” said a representative. “He learned his lesson about opening email attachments, even from people he knows intimately.”

Those who have opened Open Me First-forty-five seconds’ worth of footage apparently filmed with a cell phone camera-were treated to a nude Ms. Hudgens sitting spread-eagled in front of a Christmas tree. She is wearing a Santa hat, Christmas gift tags about the size of silver dollars for pasties, and a red, mistletoe-decorated thong.

Does anyone think Vanessa would be stupid enough to make a sex tape, let alone take nude pictures of herself? Well, at least the sex tape is fake. Vanessa should work this new sexy image. Right now she should be signing up to do all kinds of movies that take advantage of her sexiness. She doesn’t have to get naked, she’s done that, all she has to do is tease the audience with her sexiness. It pays better than dancing with Unicorns, and walking a yellow brick road.

Tom Ford has designed for big names like Gucci, and he’s made headlines with his on the edge sexy ads. This ad is for his new cologne. I’d like to really challenge Tom Ford. They can’t make everything sexy. I’d like to see them design ads to sell hot dogs and buns. I think I’ll have the last laugh on this one.

Sunday night at the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas Britney Spears ran off stage yelling she looked like a fat pig, after seeing herself on overhead monitors during her performance. Here’s more:

“She was also able to see video of herself throughout the auditorium,” a backstage source tells Us Weekly. “She flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ She was inconsolable.”

I’m not going to dispute the facts, or argue against Britney’s accurate declaration that she "looked like a fat pig." She’s right. I’ve never seen an anorexic pig, so "fat pig" sounds accurate. Drinking 3 or 4 Starbucks Vente frappuccinos with extra heavy whipped cream, plus super-sized pizzas with extra cheese and grease, Cheetos, and more, doesn’t make a young lady look like a sexy goddess. Over the last few years has she not stepped on a scale or even looked in the mirror? When her manager arranged for a trainer, and brought in a whale trainer from SeaWorld, didn’t Britney suspect someone was trying to tell her something? On the plus side, as long as Britney is a fat pig, it will be harder to see her vagina past her inner thigh fat.

Check out Britney’s uncensored MTV VMA performance after the jump…

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Most wives put on sexy lingerie to please their husbands on their birthday. To celebrate Guy Ritchie’s 39th birthday last night, Madonna reminded him she still wears the pants, and has a bigger d!ck. This must really do wonders for Guy’s masculinity. Here’s more:

Strap it on and slip it in!! 6″ dildo with adjustable waist and back strap to fit all sizes. Comes with perfectly positioned vibrating bullett to give the wearer clitoral stimulation whilst pleasuring her mate! Fitted with multispeed battery box, just adjust the vibration to suit, and then clip to the waistband for total hands free pleasure.

If Guy divorced Madonna, and someone asked, "Why did you leave her?" I would expect his response to be, "She thought I was a dick, and she had one."