On Friday night Vivid Entertainment sent HG a press release that says they have new Kim Kardashian sex tape footage they will release on their web site soon (Click here to see NSFW). Seems like a very convenient coincidence with the start of Kardashians new show on E! Vivid says:

With the release of a best selling sex tape, a soon-to-be-released Playboy pictorial, countless public appearances and more press than someone who is famous for doing ’nothing’, Kim Kardashian has another venture in the works…A reality TV show! Keeping Up With The Kardashian’s is set to air on E! beginning October 14.

Keeping up with the Kardashians will follow the life and adventures of the 26-year old model, actress and entrepreneur along with sisters Kourtney and Khloe, half sisters Kendall and Kylie, mom Kris and stepfather Bruce. The show is produced by Ryan Seacrest Productions with six episodes constituting the initial season.

While Vivid can’t take all of the credit for Kim’s success, we can let our fans (and Kim’s) know that we’re not finished with her sexy escapades on tape. New footage has emerged and will soon be making its way to KimKSuperstar.com. Keep checking the site regularly and if you’re not already a member, be sure to check out what you’ve been missing.

I told ya they should have named that show Ho in Da House. This reminds me of a chicken I used to have, a red hen in fact. She was just a chick when all the other chickens were killed by some neighbor dogs. As she grew up with my dogs she began to think she was a dog. She’d chase the ball around with the dogs. She’d jump on the glass sliding door so I’d let her in the house. She even ate dog food, and when the dogs curled up to sleep, she’d sleep right in the middle next to their belly. It was weird, but a good example of how environment can overcome genetic influence over personality. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I don’t know why Kim is trying to act like a celebrity when everyone knows she’s a whore. Kim should just say "yes" to becoming a porn star for Vivid, and stopping fighting who she really is. Be yourself Kim. Be the best whore you can be.

Esquire magazine declares that Charlize Theron is the "sexiest woman alive." These guys are a bit creepy. Take a look at how they describe her. Esquire says:

CLOSE ON CHARLIZE’s face. Her eyes hold the gaze of the camera directly, disarmingly. When she was younger, she looked like she knew she was hot. Now she looks like a person who knows exactly what’s going on — everything sorted and rich in the possibility of desire, everything painful and cheap, cruel and unspoken in the world around her — and it does not scare her.

CLOSE ON CHARLIZE’s mouth, her lips bent in her particular smile, sexy and knowing, a little bit leering, just sweet enough that you feel wont to assume some connection, some secret between you. This is the big trick of sexiness. The big lie. But it’s no trick at all for her. She bites down on the pack of cigarettes and unspools the cellophane with her teeth, a luscious and familiar dissection.

I’ve always thought Charlize was hot, but not the sexiest woman alive by a long shot. The description here is just plain bizzarre. The description goes from literary novel, to romance novel, with a hint of Penthouse forum. The only thing missing is the climax. I suspect this guy dresses in tight restrictive full body leather outfits, with a mask and a zipper where the mouth should be, and spends his free time as a foot stool for his female dominatrix.

You literally heard it here first. That headline was an omen of what was to come. Today it’s official. Britney Spears was ordered by a Los Angeles court to turn over physical custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James to their father Kevin Federline. TMZ reports:

L.A. County Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon issued an order today, stating that Kevin Federline, the boys’ father, "is to retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 12:00 PM until further order of the court."

Judge Gordon had ordered Spears to undergo random drug testing and take parenting classes. Sources say Federline’s powerhouse lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan (left), raised the issue that Spears was driving without a valid California driver’s license…

… Spears took the kids to the drive-thru at Carl’s Jr. at 12:02 this afternoon and surrendered the kids to K-Fed’s bodyguard three minutes later.

A source connected with the case says Spears was not focusing on the judge’s order last month, and she may not have attended the parenting classes or performed the required drug and alcohol testing.

Britney really earned this decision, so she can call it her own. The only surprise is that the judge didn’t turn the kids over to Federline a lot sooner. Only Britney would take the kids through the Carl’s Jr. drive-thru before turning them over. She probably only got herself something, cause momma hungry, momma gotta eat, baby no cry, make momma mad. Last week Britney cried as she left her first drug test. It’s possible she failed the test. Kevin’s lawyer pointed out that Britney has been charged with hit-and-run, plus driving without a valid license. Click here to see video of the accident. She filled out part of the paperwork at the DMV, but never completed it, so she has no license, and has been driving despite the charges, even on the day she turned the kids over.

Picture row 1: Over the weekend, Britney went out for Greek food at Taverna Toni in Malibu, but is too lazy to carry even one of her two kids she brought there. Do kids like Greek food?

Picture row 2: Pictures of Britney smashed white Mercedes which was obviously in an another car accident, after her black one which was involved in the hit-and-run accident. A second accident even though she shouldn’t even be driving.

Picture row 3 and 4: Over the weekend Britney went out for Mexican food, and looks like she may have brought a margarita home with her. Open alcohol containers are illegal in cars. Perhaps the judge saw these pictures too.

Picture row 5: Over the weekend, Britney takes her dog to Starbucks. Where are the kids?

Picture row 6 and 7: Last night about midnight Britney runs out of gas a second time, and the paparazzi have to fill’er up, again. Then she shops at Ralph’s. What is she doing out at midnight when she has the kids at home for the weekend?

The judge probably knows about all of this, and is finally, I mean FINALLY forcing Britney to be responsible for her actions. Don’t forget about Britney’s former bodyguard who submitted a declaration about Britney’s bad behavior. She was even banned from the Chateau Marmont for smearing food all over her face. What is it going to take for Britney to start acting like an adult? The judge is her daddy now, and he’s finally showing Britney some tough love. First Britney lost her car keys, then her husband, then her mind, and now her kids.

Milo Ventimiglia, who is rumored to be dating 18 year-old Hayden Panettiere, told the BBC:

“The other day in Paris I had these two young girls that just… couldn’t have been more than sixteen or seventeen years old just telling me I’m sexy. That was kind of bizarre. Very strange. To be a thirty year old man having a teenager say you’re sexy is like… thank you. I appreciate it? Thank you.’”

It’s bizarre and strange for a teenage girl to idolize a male celebrity? What is disturbing is that Milo pretends to be uncomfortable with the idea, but is video taped dry humping his 18 year-old Heroes co-star, who is only a year or two older than these teenage fans. Thirty year-old men often still think like they’re a teenager, but even though age is only in the mind, statutory rape isn’t. Love transcends everything, except age limits in the law. We know what you’re thinking Milo, despite the tinfoil hat you’re wearing. I hope Milo knows about that show To Catch a Predator, because I really don’t want to see him talking to Chris Hansen with his pants around his ankles.

Miley Cyrus (aka Destiny Hope "Miley" Cyrus) stars as Miley Stewart in Hannah Montana, and she is the daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus. The false rumor today is that Miley, who is 14 years-old, is pregnant. It doesn’t help that Disney sells the image of underaged sexy girls in school girl outfits. Disney is sneaky. Their target audience includes teenage girls that want to look sexy and slutty like Miley, teenage boys that masturbate using Miley’s school girl images, and middle aged pedophiles. Few people know the original name of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves was originally Snow White and the Seven Well Hung Dwarves.