I’m not going to lie and say I was shocked to see Oscar de La Hoya in fishnet stockings. I’ve been expecting something like this for years. The lines that divided the sexes, the races, levels of intelligence, levels of health, and more are all being broken down. Pretty soon we’re all going to be either people without individual identities, or blobs of infected puss. These photos of Oscar were sold for $70,000 by Milana Dravnel, who was his ex girlfriend. Here’s what she said:

The photos are being peddled by a Scores West dancer, according to R. Couri Hay, the Gotham magazine columnist who scored the first interview with the twentysomething woman.

"She says she took the photos at the Ritz-Carlton in Philadelphia on May 17," Hay tells us. "I fully believe she is telling the truth. She had been reluctant to talk. But now that she’s being called a liar, she’s ready to sell her story. And, believe me, she has a lot of details."

I love that. She’s willing to “SELL,” not tell, her side of the story, and you better have the bucks cause she don’t screw people for free. Here’s what he said:

Embarrassing photos allegedly of boxing legend Oscar De La Hoya in drag circulated on the Internet yesterday, showing what X17online.com claimed was the fighter in a fishnet outfit, heels, ladies’ underwear and a wig. But Ramiro Gonzalez, a rep for De La Hoya’s Golden Boy Promotions, said, "Our position is that they are doctored pictures. We have our lawyers looking into this and we have no further comment." The shots were sold to the site by a former Scores West stripper who claims she met the boxer more than a year ago and role-played with him. "He would call himself Goldie," a middleman told us.

When I was thirteen years old, I started to really like girls, and I was curious, so I snuck into a girls bathroom. I hid in the first stall with the door closed, so I could peek through the crack hoping to see girls changing. Instead of changing, several girls saddled up on the toilets in the other stalls. They were even talking to each other while they let out the loudest and smelliest farts I’ve every experienced. One girl even slipped a tampon under the dividing wall for the other to borrow, and by borrow I don’t mean return when she’s done with it. The bell rang, and the girls left the bathroom, which allowed me to make my escape. I lost interest in girls after that until high school, when a surge of hormones dropped my IQ by about 100 points. I expect this is what happened to Oscar the day he dressed up in fishnet stockings at the request of a stripper he wanted to bone. At the time he could say at least he didn’t have to pay for it, but he will now.

Oktoberfest is kicking off in Germany, and they have already banned Paris Hilton from the event, but she showed up anyway. Here’s more:

Locals were outraged when the socialite, 26, arrived at the beer festival in plaits and traditional Bavarian dress to advertise a brand of canned wine. They accused organizers of selling out and making the event, which kicks off again this weekend, look shabby. Munich tourism chief Gabriele Weishaeupl announced yesterday that celebrity promotions “are completely prohibited by the new festival rules”.

In a way Paris didn’t break the rules, because she’s not really a celebrity, anymore. It’s hard to imagine that anyone could "cheapen" an event that consists of drinking, puking, sex in the bushes, and public urination, but organizers said she does, and they should know. I’m not surprised Paris showed up even though she was told to stay away, but I am surprised Paris was not hanging off OJ Simpson’s arm as he left jail in Las Vegas so she could get some face time with the cameras.

Paris is still trying to promote herself to saint status, so she wants to give away clothes to children’s charities. Here’s more:

"I have, like, a million clothes and more than 500 pairs of shoes, so I’m going to give a bunch of them to orphanages and children’s hospitals. I never wear something twice."

I don’t know many children that are 5’ 8" tall, and have a size 12 men’s shoe size. Kids with cancer get sick from bugs normal people don’t, so they might want to burn any clothes from Paris that have STD fluids on them, which means all of them.

The other day there was an allegation that Hayden Panettiere threatened to kill an Us magazine reporter while she was on the red carpet: Here’s more:

Anyway, it was the unbreakable Hayden Panettiere who threatened to "kill" a staffer from Us Weekly over something she wrote about her in a recent issue. Just when it looked like Hayden was about to pull a Sylar on said reporter’s skull, her quick-thinking publicist grabbed her and scolded, "Not on the red carpet." It was a classic Hollywood moment – and one I predict will be streaming all over the Internet by week’s end.

Hayden didn’t mean to "kill" anyone. Maybe the people over at Us Weekly should pass out a dictionary defining slang used by young people. The reason Hayden isn’t happy is because she’s moving from one guy to another like musical chairs, and she wants to keep her sex life a secret. She dumped Stephen Colletti, and she’s already moved on to co-star Milo Ventimiglia. In the video above the Milo and Hayden were dancing at the Emmy Awards after show party, and Milo was tenderizing his new meat with his hands and lips. By the time Hayden hits 21 years-old she’ll have handled more meat than a butcher.

Michael Lohan wasted no time selling a story about his visit with Lindsay Lohan in her Utah rehab. Here’s more:

Michael said, "As soon as I arrived Lindsay rushed into my arms, then curled up on my lap and sobbed like a baby." Then, between snivels, she promised to QUIT films, LEAVE Hollywood and DUMP bad boy lover Calum Best in a desperate bid to stay clean. She said she does not want to live in Hollywood as that is where this evil in her life happens." "She said, ‘I hate Hollywood and I don’t want to work there. I need a break and I am moving away’."

Vowing to steer clear of sex and drug addict Calum, Lindsay added: "I will stop hanging round with people who are bad for me’."

I suppose Michael also wants me to believe Lions are going to quit eating meat, fish will start living on land, and monkeys can’t drive cars. When I close my eyes and count to three Michael will disappear. 1 … 2 … 3. Dang it, he’s still there.

Hugh Jackman took his wife to Mr. Chow for some good food and conversation. When they left she made him carry her purse. He isn’t embarrassed because he married her so people wouldn’t call him gay when he carried around his purse, and said it was his wife’s. Upon arriving to their car there were fans and photogs. Amazingly, all the fans had framed copies of Hugh as Wolverine from X-Men. I carry around a wallet size Wolverine picture. I also wear X-Men underwear, and the last time I tried to get him to sign them, he said only in private. Nice! Hugh also mentioned he is changing his name to Chow Chow. He said if you say it normal like Chow Chow, then it’s a place to eat or a dog’s name, but if you say it soft and sexy like Choooow Choooow, then that’s him.