Here are more pictures of Nicole Richie in a bikini in Hawaii. Nicole looks just like the girls I’d see at a swimming hole in the deep south. All the girls there wore bikinis, and although most were under the age of 16 and pregnant, the rest looked pregnant even though they’re not, because in the deep south 17 is considered old. If Nicole chained me to a bed post and gave me the choice of having sex with her, or chewing off my hand, I’d chew off my hand, and learn to masturbate with my other hand.

Miley Cyrus (aka Destiny Hope "Miley" Cyrus) stars as Miley Stewart in Hannah Montana, and she is the daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus. The false rumor today is that Miley, who is 14 years-old, is pregnant. It doesn’t help that Disney sells the image of underaged sexy girls in school girl outfits. Disney is sneaky. Their target audience includes teenage girls that want to look sexy and slutty like Miley, teenage boys that masturbate using Miley’s school girl images, and middle aged pedophiles. Few people know the original name of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves was originally Snow White and the Seven Well Hung Dwarves.

Today’s rumor is that Meg White made and leaked a sex tape, however, I don’t believe the girl in the sex tape is Meg, she’s ugly, but still too pretty to be Meg. Not that the girl in the tape is pretty. She just didn’t make me spontaneously puke when I watched the video like this picture of Meg did, so that was the litmus test.

Meg plays drums for the White Stripes, who canceled the remainder of their 2007 tour because Meg was suffering from acute anxiety, so she was unable to travel. Rumors say the sex tape is the reason.

For the pervs, you can see the NSFW screen caps here, here, HQ here, and the video here, or here is the first link doesn’t work.

Meg’s rep says:

“Some people have a very twisted sense of humor and this prank is in particularly bad taste. The tape circulating on the Internet as featuring Meg White is fake. It’s definitely not Meg.”

Tony Allen, the frontman for Dead Stays Alive, was the bandana wearing dude with the permagrin that had sex in a bathroom at Cirque Lodge rehab with Lindsay Lohan. Here’s more:

Stephanie Allen – the mother of Tony’s eight-month-old twins Blake and Lakeland – has been left devastated by the claims and has kicked her husband out of their Georgia home. A friend told Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper: "She’s had it, period. They tried forever to have kids. She went through IVF three times and suffered two miscarriages, and when they finally got two beautiful babies, he hooks up in rehab with a girl half his age. "He is trying to live out this rock star fantasy at 40. All Stephanie wanted was for him to be a good husband and father."

Tony’s friends told his wife:

Recent reports claim Tony boasted to friends about his affair: "Come on, it’s Lindsay Lohan. Hell, yes! Wouldn’t you?"

Here’s what Tony told his wife:

However, 39-year-old Tony – who fronts US band Dead Stays Alive – claims his relationship with Lindsay is purely platonic.

High fives all around for Tony. How many 39 year-olds can say they banged a movie star half their age in the bathroom. Let me explain my support for Tony. Women are offered sex since the time they hit puberty. Women are used to saying no to sex. Anytime a woman wants sex she can get it. Men might get sex by taking women out for dinner and a movie, paying for it, or begging for it. Some men learn to have sex by watching the neighborhood dogs. One lesson I learned was never let go of a girl’s leg no matter how hard she tries to shake you off. When a woman like Lindsay suddenly says, "do me now," men just drop their pants and get to work. The wife, Stephanie, is jealous. After all her husband is in rehab because he’s a drug addict, and yet she says he’s "a good husband and father." When she wanted babies he dropped his pants and went to work, but now suddenly he’s a bad guy for doing what she married him for.

After all these years Alicia Silverstone is still clueless, and photoshopped to naked perfection in the ad above. I don’t need to see pussy to become a vegetarian. There are a lot of things I would do for a fine pussy, but eating fruits and vegetables isn’t it. Have you ever seen someone who has severe heart disease? They’re like, "well it’s too late to quit smoking, it’s too late to stop eating meat, and I can’t have sex anymore, so f**k it." If being a vegetarian was so great would vegans need to show pussies to try to convert people? Would you follow a pussy into war, or a ghetto fight? Not me. Let me ask you this, what do pussies eat? Pussies eat meat, and they paw at their toys. The pussies I like best are the ones that have a good old fashioned cat fight, like the pussies below.

Want to see the almost NSFW video of Alicia? Then click the link below.

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