Rosie O’Donnell Left Blogging Because

Rosie O’Donnell announced she will be taking a month off from blogging. Why? People stopped caring about Rosie.

In the last year, since she left The View, traffic on her site, which once approached 650,000 visitors a month, has fallen more than 85 percent to under 100,000, according to the Web measurement company compete.com.

Even at Rosie’s peak, her traffic levels sucked. Ouch! Rosie shouldn’t take a month off, but just retire from blogging altogether. We’ll miss her as much as we would miss Spam in our mailbox.

Rosie O’Donnell and Kelli Carpenter Split

Unreliable gossip columnist Cindy Adams, who can’t even feel her own pulse, is reporting that Rosie O’Donnell and Kelli Carpenter, aka Kelli O’Donnell, are calling it quits. Adams reports:

WE’RE hearing that the togetherness of Rosie O’Donnell and Kelli Carpenter, the handsome blond gal Rosie calls her wife, may not be so together anymore. They married a few years ago in San Francisco. I remember excited Kelli then showing me her new driver’s license bearing the name Kelli O’Donnell. Whatever other difficulties such a breakup might cause, there is also a houseful of adopted kids they’re raising.

Rosie rushed right out and denied the rumor, then she started a weight loss program that combines watching marathons on TV, while she eats a box of donuts.

Rosie O’Donnell on the Howard Stern Show

Rosie O’Donnell was on Howard Stern, and the two had a very candid conversation. Rosie exposed Jay Leno’s lack of social skills, among other things. Overall Rosie was very open and honest. This is the way Rosie should always be. Howard has a way of getting people to just be themselves around him, even lesbians.

Barbara Walters Says Rosie has Emotional Issues

Barbara Walters has published her memoir, and included a chapter on The View, in wich she mentions Rosie, and describes her as having "emotional issues." There’s no denying that.

Rosie was on the Today Show this morning and compared herself to racist reverend Wright. Rosie said some people confuse passion with rage. Uh huh. Rosie herself said she’s got more mental problems than Britney Spears. Maybe it’s not rage or passion. Maybe it’s just plain crazy talk.

I get tired just trying to pay attention to Rosie. Tom Cruise won’t be happy to hear that Rosie said medication helped her mental issues.

Rosie Returns to TV

The Rosie O’Donnell Show will return for just one episode on May 2, thanks to Rachel Ray.

Ray will transform her show into Rosie’s show for one day.

Dumbest idea ever.