There’s dumba$$ Riley Giles wearing out his welcome in the back seat. Riley must walk behind, and sit behind, master Lohan at all times now. He’s no longer a boyfriend, now he’s a hangeron. Lindsay Lohan has resorted to using an umbrella now to drive away the paparazzi. It’s all just a game. If one day Lindsay walked out of a place where there are normally swarms of paparazzi, and none were taking her picture, she’d probably jump in front of a moving car to get attention. Just the other day she was making her way to her car with an umbrella, and a bodyguard, when the bodyguard kicked a paparazzi in the BALLS while he trapped along a wall. I don’t like paparazzi, but he didn’t do anything to provoke the attack. Lohan will probably scold the bodyguard for driving away her beloved camera men.

Riley Giles, Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend, denied being engaged to Breanna Tierney who is pictured above wearing an engagement ring. Riley has a criminal history that includes misrepresentation, fraud, and forgery to get more Xanax, all of which he plead guilty to, and he’s been arrested for DUI twice. Riley and Lindsay’s daddy have a lot in common. Below are the side-by-side mugshots of Riley and Lindsay. They make such a cute couple. Riley’s former fiance Breanna still wants this loser despite being dumped for Lindsay. I have no idea why, but I suspect she was kicked in the head by a mule when she was a child. Breanna took her fight for her man to the National Enquirer. Click here to read her interview. Was the diamon in her ring real or fake? Find out in her interview.

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It’s safe to say that Lindsay Lohan is a home wrecker. In rehab she allegedly had sex in the bathroom with a married man who had two children, and his wife is now divorcing him. Now Us Magazine says Lindsay’s new guy Riley Giles, who she met in rehab, was engaged when they met. Us says:

Until recently, he was engaged to Murray, Utah, resident Bree Tierney. “Riley just stopped calling Bree and never told her about Lindsay,” Bree’s mom, Tess, tells Us. “She found out by seeing photos. It destroyed her.”

Riley denies he was engaged. He told In Touch:

Riley, 25, a professional snowboarder who is remaining in Utah, had been dating a girl named Bree Tierney when he met Lindsay, but he denies that Lindsay caused their split. “I broke up with Bree a week before I started dating Lindsay,” he told In Touch. “We had dated for almost two years, but it’s not like we were engaged or anything.”

So there ya go. They weren’t engaged. It’s her word against his. Lindsay sure picks winners. This guy is a professional snow boarder. Wow. I wonder why I’ve never heard of him? There are reports Riley may not be good for Lindsay. Us says:

“Lindsay may be in danger with Riley.” The concerns may be warranted: Giles escorted Lohan to the Hotel Bar & Nightclub in Salt Lake City on October 5 - the same day she checked out of rehab.

Though one witness claims that Lohan drank that night, owner Jordan Harwood insists to Us, “Her group made it clear they didn’t want any alcohol at the table.”

Lindsay drinking again? Anyone surprised if she is? I’m not. But wait, she’s in love with Riley, no matter how bad an influence he is, or fugly. She loves bad boys. In Touch says:

“We started out as friends,” explains Lindsay, who sat down for an exclusive interview with In Touch in Utah. “We met about two months ago while doing activities at Cirque. We both enjoyed rock climbing,” she says. Their romance started slowly, says Lindsay, 21. “We waited until we were both out of treatment because it made more sense.”

The couple plan to date long distance while Lindsay is in Los Angeles filming her new movie, Dare to Love Me. “I’ll probably go to Utah on a weekend and he will hopefully come to visit me in LA.”

Long distance relationships always work out, for about a week. Riley is going to make a good fall guy when Lindsay falls off the wagon. She’s going to need someone to blame for going back to drugs and alcohol. Lindsay forgot to tell Riley she has no short term memory since her brain was damaged by all the drugs and alcohol, so she might forget he exists soon. What was I talking about? Oh yes, poor short term memory. Look at that dog chasing that cat. Wow that’s so funny. Where’s my coffee? Was I writing something? Oh hey, yeah, so Lindsay is going to be with a new guy next week, and there will be rumors she’s drinking and drugging again. Her acting insurance will be in jeopardy, and she’ll be caught blowing the director in his trailer. Good’ol Lindsay. It’s nice to have her back.

Lindsay Lohan says of rehab “ it was a sobering experience.” Sounds like some good public relations coaching. Sound candid, and yet spin it to the moon. She sat down with Ok! Magazine after leaving Cirque Lodge and gave them an exclusive interview. What you won’t hear is openness and honesty. What you will hear is spin to brainwash you into believing her, which give credibility to another relapse. OK! reports:

On what her stay at Cirque Lodge taught her:
"It made me look at myself and all the people, places and things in my life in a different way."

On her plans to return to the rehab facility:
“I’m going back to shoot Dare to Love Me, but I plan on returning to Utah so I can stay focused and avoid other distractions.”

On her arrests for DUI and cocaine possession:
"I hit rock bottom. Everything in my life came to a point where I had to make a decision."

On returning to Hollywood:
"Tempation is always there, but now I’ll avoid it the right way.
“I’m here to stay," she tells OK! with conviction. "My talent is a gift and I’m going to use it."

Director Brett Ratner, who dated Lindsay Lohan briefly, had some words to say about possibly casting her in his Hugh Hefner biopic. He really sums up the talent Lindsay says is a gift. E! Online reports:

"She’s very talented…if she’s sober," he considered, in response to our Q on whether or not the rehabbed hottie could hack it. "She would be great as a Playboy Bunny."

Some might call might say Lindsay is being type-cast as a whore. Some might say she is a whore, and her playing a whore is more like a biopic, in which she plays herself. Michael Lohan has been with Lindsay non-stop since he started visiting her in rehab. Now Michael has even purchased a ring for his girlfriend, which is odd because he was in jail for two years. Where is he getting his money? One person who has not been seen with Lindsay is Dina Lohan, the enabler. Lindsay will also be using her talent to save poor people in South America who can’t afford to buy designer clothes, and stop global warming by cutting down to half a pack of cigarettes a day.

Lindsay also has a new boyfriend, Riley Giles (25), who was in rehab with her in Utah. Sounds healthy. Two former addicts dating each other. In Touch Weekly

“Yes, I am seeing someone. His name is Riley, I am really happy and taking it day by day.” She said, “Going out all the time was very self-destructive. Partying and having all of those pictures taken distracts from the work that I do. It’s not why I started acting. I didn’t get into acting to be written about. I want to act like a woman rather than a teenager. I am doing the best I can.”

Although I secretly have my fingers crossed that Lindsay recovers, and succeeds again, all "those pictures" are being taken because everyone is expecting her to end up in some cheap hotel broke, without the money for rehab, and no mommy or daddy around to help. That’s a happy ending according to Lohan family standards.