Lindsay Lohan has struck a deal by pleading no contest to two counts of DUI and will serve 10 days community service and one day in jail (the minimum sentence of four days was cut in half by the judge, and she was also credited one day for the time served when she was arrested). Lindsay also pleaded guilty to two counts of being under the influence of a controlled substance and pled no contest to reckless driving. The judge ordered Lindsay to serve 36 months probation and attend an alcohol education program for 18 months, as well as enroll in a drug program and "not to associate with people with controlled substances." For her 2 DUIs, 2 counts of possession of cocaine, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility, driving on a suspended license, drinking underage and fleeing the scene of an accident, and recklessly trying to run down someone down with her car, Lindsay will serve 1 day in jail. She could check in at midnight and check out right after midnight, so she could spend less time in jail than Nicole Richie. In what amounts to another crappy acting job Lindsay issued the following statement:

"It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs.

Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have.

I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so."

As for Lindsay’s father Michael Lohan, here’s what the judge told him when he got a DUI:

Michael Lohan Lohan, 45, had been driving with a suspended or revoked license and had a blood-alcohol level nearly double the legal limit, Watson said. He pleaded guilty Friday to the reduced charge of driving while impaired.

The judge rejected a request by Lohan’s lawyers that he be sentenced to an alcohol rehabilitation program instead of prison.

Daddy served about 2 years in prison, while his little girl gets 1 day for far more charges. This will no doubt improve their father-daughter relationship. Lindsay is following in Daddy’s footsteps. Ali just snuck out of the house and got into a car wreck herself. When is it gonna be Dina’s turn? Soon I hope. The judge ordered Lindsay to "not to associate with people with controlled substances." He should have added "and your mother." Addicts and alcoholics don’t stop until they hit a low point, and 1 day in jail plus nature walks at a rehab center in Utah doesn’t seem like a low point. We’ll be seeing Lindsay again with a new mug shot, and rehashed excuses.

Looking to score points with Lindsay, Michael Lohan issued this statement after Lindsay’s plea deal was announced:

“I am overjoyed that the system sees that Lindsay is getting the help she needed by putting her best foot forward and by going to rehab. I think between her attorney, Blair Berk, and her therapists at Cirque Lodge, she’s around people that care about her best welfare and Lindsay as a human being. I just hope I can be part of the right path she is on.”

Does anyone honestly believe that Michael thinks Lindsay’s sentence was fair, just, or helpful to her? If he cared about her then he would have said something like, “she needs to do some hard time, so she can face some hard realizations, and turn her life around because she’s hit rock bottom.” Instead he just kissed her butt because he loves her money more than his daughter, just like everyone else around her. With these people around Lindsay she could be dead before the year is out, and her family will be making money off book deals, movie deals, and endorsements to use her name. Not even Captain America can help Lindsay now, because he’s dead. Remember?

Not to be outdone, and to continue enabling her little girl, Dina Lohan has issued the following statement this evening also:

“My children and I are in a wonderful place in our lives, and people just want to make things up and see us fail!”

Does this statement smack of someone out-of-touch with reality? No one made up the charges, or the plea deal, or the 1 day in jail sentence. Dina should be down on her knees begging the public for forgiveness for being the type of parent that has been pictured doing alcohol and drugs with Lindsay, and messing up her kid’s lives. She doesn’t have to worry about failing. Dina has already failed as a parent. The last 5 movies Lindsay did have failed. Her last 2 trips to rehab failed. Lindsay failed to stay clean after her first DUI, and got a second in record time. Now Lindsay has failed to keep herself from making her father’s mistake of becoming an ex-con. Don’t forget 13 year-old Ali Lohan just got into a car wreck herself. Is this the “wonderful place in our lives” Dina is talking about?

TMZ just broke the huge news that Nicole Richie checked herself into prison today.

She was booked at the Lynwood Jail, where Paris did her time, at 3:15 this afternoon. Great move by her lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley. While all the attention was on Lindsay, no one was watching Nicole.

She can etch her name right next to "Paris was hear." And yes, that would be how she’d spell it. These girls are getting off so easy, I wouldn’t be surprised if Nicole has a mani/pedi scheduled while in the clink.

The Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in the Philippines is using music to rehab prisoners. In this video prisoners reenact Michael Jackson’s "Thriller" in their orange jump suits, and it stars the prison’s drag queen b_tch. Even though it’s a sure thing they tried uploading it, there’s no doubt YouTube rejected their upload submission of "Beat It."

No love for the Rich-ie. According to TMZ, Nicole did not get the court date continuance she initially requested.

The Commissioner in the Nicole Richie DUI case did not grant the continuance Nicole Richie wanted. Period.

As TMZ first reported, Richie’s lawyer asked for a continuance until August 5th, because her expert witness, Dr. Terence McGee, was not available to testify then. Commissioner Steven Lubell was visibly upset and ordered both Nicole’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, and the prosecutor into chambers. When the Commissioner came out, he said he would not rule on the continuance and ordered all parties into court tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM — that’s when the trial is scheduled to begin.

What makes this even more of a conundrum for the pill-popping, wrong-way-driving, emaciated mom-to-be is that she flew to Calgary last night for her baby daddy’s show. Facing a minimum of five days in prison if convicted, this is anything but The Simple Life. On the bright side, she can use her baby bump to smuggle in contraband.

Source

With regards to Nicole Richie, the question of is she or isn’t she has apparently been answered, and the answer is SHE IS! TMZ just broke the news:

The starlet has been dating Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden for over six months. Rumors have been swirling for months that Richie and Madden were expecting, but TMZ has confirmed through several sources that she is, in fact, with child. In Touch magazine is also reporting that the couple will wed this summer.

Won’t it be so darling to have Nicole and Lionel do the father/daughter dance to one of his songs? There isn’t a more fitting one than his classic "Easy."

Richie is currently facing DUI charges stemming from her arrest last December, when she was found driving the wrong way on a California highway. Richie’s trial is set for July 11. If convicted, she faces a minimum of five days in jail.

I wonder if the prison meal program accommodates those who are eating for two, although in Nicole’s case, she’s really only eating for 1.5 (She is the ".5"). If she really can’t handle it, she can string a bunch of baby booties together and escape.