Prince William bought his girlfriend Kate Middleton a pari of earrings with white gold posts and cubic zirconia instead of real diamonds. My first thought hearing this was, "that’s so cheap." I also thought maybe he doesn’t value Kate, and their relationship. Thinking a little more deeply I realized perhaps William wants Kate to value him and their relationship, rather than his status as Prince and the money from the royal family. So many women judge a man’s love by how much money the man spends on them, which is very shallow in my opinion. It’s possible Prince William wants to send that very message to Kate, that he doesn’t want a commercially viable relationship, but wants one that is based on caring and consideration for each other. The other possibility is that he needs the money for hair plugs to reverse his balding.

Prince William is quickly became the spitting image of his father. Aren’t aristocrats and royals supposed to wear wigs, so us commoners don’t have to see this sort of thing?

A rumor is now circulating that a British Royal sex tape exists, and two men were arrested back on September 11 for trying to blackmail an unidentified British Royal to get money in exchange for not releasing the tape to the public. If the tape does exist who might that Royal person be? Hmmm. I’m going to take a wild guess here and say it could be Dirty Harry, allegedly. The AP says:

LONDON, England (AP) — Police have arrested two men over an attempt to blackmail a member of the British royal family with an alleged sex tape, a newspaper reported. Buckingham Palace could not immediately be reached for comment about the report. The Sunday Times said the pair had approached the unnamed family member and demanded 50,000 pounds ($100,000) not to publicize a video allegedly showing the royal engaged in a sex act. The blackmailers also claimed to have evidence suggesting the royal had supplied an aide with an envelope containing cocaine, the newspaper said. The newspaper said it could not identify the royal family member for legal reasons. It said the blackmailers’ target contacted police and two suspects were arrested at a London hotel on September 11 after an undercover police operation.

Buckingham Palace could not immediately be reached for comment.

In response to questions about the report, the Metropolitan Police said only that two men, aged 30 and 40, had appeared at a London court on September 13 charged with blackmail. They were ordered detained until a hearing at London’s Central Criminal Court on December 20. The force would give no details of the case or identify the suspects.

With the British Royals always acting so civilized and proper, a sex tape sounds like it might put me to sleep. The only sex tape coming from British Royals that would be shocking, is one that showed Prince Harry and Prince William having gay sex with each other, and yet, the tape would still be painfully boring.

Paparazzi chased Prince William and on again girlfriend Kate Middleton on Friday as they left Boujis night club in London. The aggressive pursuit coincided with the start of an inquiry this week into his mother’s death in a 1997 car crash after being followed by photographers. The spokesman said:

"Having already been photographed leaving the club, he and Kate Middleton were then pursued in his car by photographers on motorcycles, in vehicles and on foot. The aggressive pursuit was potentially dangerous and worrying for them."

Knowing that Princess Diana died trying to run from the paparazzi, how about a different approach, like not running. It’s not like they’re being chased by a pack of hungry wolves that want to eat them alive. Just drive and walk at a safe speed, and no one gets hurt. See how easy it is to solve problems? Some say I’m a genius, but it’s just common sense, and those people who say I’m a genius are retarded. No really, they’re retards. They drool when they talk, and call me their king. The retards say, "Look, him use fork, and able to tie shoes."

Prince William has returned to the scene of the crime. Get ready for Will and Kate reruns, as Prince William and Kate Middleton are dating again. The passion is palpable. These two should really shack up, and get married. Here’s more:

After an intimate dance the couple kissed passionately.

When friends joked that they should get a room, Wills did just that, leading Kate back to his private quarters where they spent several hours.

Get it all out kids.