Naomi Watts is either really really pregnant or faking it. I wonder what it feels to be pregnant with a beach ball? Aren’t a pregnant woman’s boobs supposed to get bigger rather than flatter? This is what happens when you try to hide things. I once tried to hide the crayons from my brother by eating them. When I took a dump my mother thought it was a sign from God that I was an artist after she saw the rainbow colored log in the toilet.

A report is set to reveal that Joel Madden may not be the father of Nicole Richie’s unborn child. The National Enquirer will claim that there were four men in Nicole’s life before she found out that she was pregnant.

Their report says that Nicole will not know for sure who fathered her child until the potential baby-daddies undergo paternity tests. A source tells the Enquirer: "Nicole recently underwent a series of tests, including blood and urine screenings, which confirmed she is pregnant."

Let’s not rule out the possibility that Paris Hilton, Rosie O’Donnell, or one of her sex toys could be the father?

We’ve been laughing all morning about the photo illustrations at PlanetHiltron.com.

It’s like bizarro photoshop! Instead of making celebrities look thinner, younger, taller, wider-eyed and smoother-skinned, PlanetHiltron has altered pictures to make the stars look more like everyday schmoes.

This picture of macho Hairspray star John Travolta and the one of soon-to-be-mom Nicole Richie below look like people we know from around town. Not pretty.

There’s also a great one of Jennifer Aniston as she might look without the trainers, the buffing, the polishing.

It certainly made us feel better about skipping the gym this morning and having waffles instead. Mmmmm…carbs.

See more pics of celebs like Ashlee Simpson, Carmen Electra and Gwyneth Paltrow brought down a notch in the yearbook section.

Awesome. We’re ordering extra syrup after that.

Congratulations are in order. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman have a bambino on the way.

E! is reporting it as fact, today, and the Internets are abuzz with purported confirmations from the pop singer’s estranged papa.

Xtina is still touring the Far East and fans have noted that she’s taken to wearing a heart-rate monitor on her wrist. Seems she may have been keeping tabs on her exertion out of concern for her tiny tummy tot.

Guess July 3rd is pregnancy-confirmation day. Any others ready to make any joyous announcements? Demi? Britney? Jessica Simpson?

With regards to Nicole Richie, the question of is she or isn’t she has apparently been answered, and the answer is SHE IS! TMZ just broke the news:

The starlet has been dating Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden for over six months. Rumors have been swirling for months that Richie and Madden were expecting, but TMZ has confirmed through several sources that she is, in fact, with child. In Touch magazine is also reporting that the couple will wed this summer.

Won’t it be so darling to have Nicole and Lionel do the father/daughter dance to one of his songs? There isn’t a more fitting one than his classic "Easy."

Richie is currently facing DUI charges stemming from her arrest last December, when she was found driving the wrong way on a California highway. Richie’s trial is set for July 11. If convicted, she faces a minimum of five days in jail.

I wonder if the prison meal program accommodates those who are eating for two, although in Nicole’s case, she’s really only eating for 1.5 (She is the ".5"). If she really can’t handle it, she can string a bunch of baby booties together and escape.