Halle Berry had to hire security after receiving death threats against her and her fetus. Here’s more:

Berry, who is three months pregnant, has received letters at her LA home from an anonymous sicko. One said she and her child would be "cut into hundreds of pieces". Halle, 41, who has a white father and an African-American mother, is expecting her first child with white Canadian model Gabriel Aubry. A source close to the actress said: "Halle does not normally use security but she has taken on a couple of guys to make sure." Police are investigating the threats.

Just because Halle is part black that makes the threat racist? The person who wrote the article probably wrote the letter to Halle while listening to Ice Cube’s Death Certificate on their iPod. I can think of a few suspects that might like to have themselves an oreo cookie baby such as Britney Spears, Kirstie Alley, and the bad boy from Sesame Street … the Cookie Monster.

Christina Aguilera may not want to admit it publicly, but she is…well I’m just gonna say it…she’s pregnant. I’m not sure how she made her boobs look smaller than her belly. My theory is duct tape and bungee cords. Unlike Nicole Richie who looks like a pregnant troll, Christina is beautiful, even when she’s not smiling. If she adjusted that lipstick a little she could make it look like she’s smiling, just like clowns do.

Here are more pictures of Nicole Richie in a bikini in Hawaii. Nicole looks just like the girls I’d see at a swimming hole in the deep south. All the girls there wore bikinis, and although most were under the age of 16 and pregnant, the rest looked pregnant even though they’re not, because in the deep south 17 is considered old. If Nicole chained me to a bed post and gave me the choice of having sex with her, or chewing off my hand, I’d chew off my hand, and learn to masturbate with my other hand.

Miley Cyrus (aka Destiny Hope "Miley" Cyrus) stars as Miley Stewart in Hannah Montana, and she is the daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus. The false rumor today is that Miley, who is 14 years-old, is pregnant. It doesn’t help that Disney sells the image of underaged sexy girls in school girl outfits. Disney is sneaky. Their target audience includes teenage girls that want to look sexy and slutty like Miley, teenage boys that masturbate using Miley’s school girl images, and middle aged pedophiles. Few people know the original name of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves was originally Snow White and the Seven Well Hung Dwarves.

Live television is fun. Anything can happen, even projectile vomiting. Did this Swedish game show host Eva Nazemson puke because of menstrual cramps, or did the condom break on her last one-night-stand? Just an FYI: Condoms break 100% of the time, which is why guys agree to use them.