Armando Perez Arrested

Latin rapper Pitbull,Armando Perez, was arrested in Miami, Fla. at 3:14 this morning by Miami-Dade Police. Details of the arrest are forthcoming. He looks drunk to me.

Update: Yup, it was alcohol. Armando Perez was arrested for DUI.

According to the police report obtained by TMZ, Perez was stopped after flying past a marked cop car in his silver Mercedes, doing 93 mph in a 55 zone. At first, the rapper wouldn’t get out of the car, and when he did, the officer writes that he “could detect a strong breath odor of alcohol over the gum he was chewing,” that Pitbull’s speech was rapid and slurred and his eyes were bloodshot.

Results of the sobriety test weren’t pretty either: he couldn’t do the finger-to-nose touch, he was swaying, and basically mangled the “walk and turn” portion of the test, losing his balance, stepping off line and starting without being told to do so. And more than once, he told the arresting officer, “This is a big waist of time your time papo.”

DMX Home Raid Turns Up Dead Pitbulls

DMX neighbors in Phoenix reported his 12 pitbulls were not being fed or watered despite being tied up in the Phoneix heat. Here’s more:

Sheriff deputies served a search warrant at the home Friday seized 12 pit bulls tied up on the property, and took them to an old jail that has been converted into an animal shelter.

Deputies found the buried dogs when they dug up the back yard. One had apparently been burned and the cause of death on the others was unknown because the bodies were decomposing.

Deputies also found a variety of firearms, some drug paraphernalia, and a lot of cars that don’t match the license plates. Sheriff Arpaio said. Authorities sought additional warrants so they could check the guns to determine if they were legal.

Blame it on the caretaker:

Simmons’ lawyer, Murray Richman, said Simmons hasn’t been in Arizona for at least two months and was "extremely disturbed" to hear the animals weren’t being cared for properly.

"We had a caretaker that wasn’t taking care, that’s what happened," Richman said. "He loves dogs — he loves these animals. Those dogs are practically his family."

How do we know the caretaker didn’t get eaten like the last guy?

In 2002, DMX pled guilty to animal cruelty for having 13 neglected pit bulls in his possession. This guy has a rap sheet longer than Santa’s naughty list. He must have at least one felony on his record, which would mean he couldn’t own even a single firearm legally. Where’s Jamie Foxx? Another brother needs your support. Three dog graves in his yard are nothing. Just ask Michael Vick.

Michael Vick Suspended Indefinitely

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell notified Michael Vick today that he is indefinitely suspended without pay from the National Football League, effective immediately. Goodell said:

Your admitted conduct was not only illegal, but also cruel and reprehensible. Your team, the NFL, and NFL fans have all been hurt by your actions.

Your plea agreement and the plea agreements of your co-defendants also demonstrate your significant involvement in illegal gambling. Even if you personally did not place bets, as you contend, your actions in funding the betting and your association with illegal gambling both violate the terms of your NFL Player Contract and expose you to corrupting influences in derogation of one of the most fundamental responsibilities of an NFL player. You have engaged in conduct detrimental to the welfare of the NFL and have violated the league’s Personal Conduct Policy…

The Atlanta Falcons Owner Arthur Blank said:

…His admissions describe actions that are incomprehensible and unacceptable for a member of the National Football League and the Atlanta Falcons.

We respect and support the Commissioner’s decision today to place Michael Vick on an indefinite suspension…

What Vick, and his supporters don’t realize, is that the dogs he killed to most Americans were Snoopy, Goofy, Lassie, and even Shaggy’s best friend Scooby Doo. He’s lucky Shaggy hasn’t stabbed him to death with a Scooby snack, yet.