Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon Hookin’ Up

According to the New York Post, Pamela Anderson has been keeping at least near-naked company with Rick Salomon. Ewwww…

She could do so much better. Sure, she has bad taste in men, but the girl is looking good as evidenced by the pics of her frolicking on the beach that are making the rounds on the Internets.

At least, she looks good if you don’t look too closely. Some of the pics look like "before" examples for a sun-damage reversing laser treatment.

But, there’s no denying that her body is still slammin’.

Which is really good news, because nobody will be looking at her face in the inevitable sex tape that will surface if these two continue their liaison.

Remember, Ricky boy is Paris Hilton’s former flame and co-star in her infamous sex tape.

With their combined experience, Pam and Rick are sure to make a fortune shilling their naked escapades. No lawsuits if they’re in cahoots!

Brad Pitt Opens Up About the Paparazzi

Super hot DILF Brad Pitt is on the cover of the October issue of Details.

Inside, he probably looks really hot in the pictures and then talks a bit about stuff that’s important to him and the paparazzi and…blah blah blah…what nice blue eyes he has.

“It is the defining annoyance of my life,” he says, emitting a deep, frustrated sigh. “I just think how strange it is for my kids. Mad, Z, Pax—they really believe that every time you go outside there is a herd of people with cameras snapping flashes in your face [who] are going to kind of block your way when you’re trying to get somewhere.

“That is their vision of the world outside. Very strange, isn’t it? It’s an everyday thing for them…

That would be weird.

Imagine walking to school with your angelic, famous baby sister and your blindingly gorgeous parents and having a mob basically escorting you.

You’d probably get so used to it, you’d feel lonely any time you weren’t surrounded by a dozen stinky, sweaty, yelling guys jostling each other and walking backwards in front you.

Boy. Therapy sure will be interesting for the Jolie-Pitt clan.

Joel Madden Is P-Whipped

Page Six has basically accused Joel Madden of breaking the cardinal rule from The 40 Year Old Virgin. He’s gone and put the pu$$y on a pedestal.

NICOLE Richie knows how rumors get started, so she’s nipping in the bud any chance of wicked whispers about her and boyfriend Joel Madden being on the outs. Wednesday night, Madden went to celebrate the first anniversary of the Village Pourhouse on Third Avenue, and all was well until a party promoter wanted to take a picture of him with a cute young woman. Our spy reports, "He said he couldn’t, as Nicole gave him strict orders not to take pictures with other celebrities or girls for rumor purposes."

Nicole Richie isn’t completely uncaring. She did return his balls when he came home.

Lindsay Lohan’s Cleavage and Her Ankle Bracelet Make the Rounds

We can only tell that this is Lindsay Lohan and not Dina Lohan because we’ve seen other pictures of her in this dress. Which reminds us that we need to make a note, if you’re going to parade all over town, showing off the newest in scofflaw monitoring, you might want to think about shoes compatible with your anklet.

Is anyone else concerned about Firecrotch’s premature aging? She could easily pass for 35 and the "Coca-Cola" isn’t helping. You don’t really believe it’s just soda in that can, do you?

We know that the ankle bracelet is an alcohol-sensor thingee. But, c’mon, that thing is completely voluntary — a ploy conjured up to reassure the public and potential employers that Lindsay’s appearances at parties and whirlwind jaunts to Las Vegas in no way indicate that she isn’t serious about her sobriety.

She’s serious, see! She’s wearing an ankle bracelet!

Oh…you want to see the reports? Er…

L.A. Bash to Welcome Beckhams Draws Stars, Katie Holmes Dresses Better Than Victoria

The guest list read like a Who’s Who in Hollywood and then some.

Predictably, Jada Pinkett Smith looked angry.

Avoiding smiling at all costs, Victoria Beckham teetered around on the most strippified, stripper shoes we’ve ever seen while narrowly avoiding flashing the cameras. Hey guys! Check out my new wax!!

And Katie Holmes appeared demure, classy and gorgeous as she towered over hubby Tom Cruise. Hey guys! Never mind Posh, check out the heels on MY shoes!

Also present to get their pictures taken…er…welcome the Beckhams were Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy, Brooke Shields and husband Chris Henchy, and pretty much anyone else who doesn’t want to be on Jada’s bad side. Hey guys! You better not be writing mean things about my very close friends, the amazing and wonderful Cruises.

We’re not kidding…she gives the scariest evil looks.

Check out Jada’s mean eyes and see lots more photos…