The Internets are ablaze this morning with theories explaining Britney’s wooden performance last night.

Photographic evidence of a glittering broken heel is being touted as the reason Brit appeared to stiffly walk through the number, barely moving her hips.

X17 is reporting that Britney Spears was suffering an impediment of a more emotional nature:

A source tells X17 Brit found out about Sarah Silverman’s crappy line about Britney’s babies just moments before she took the stage to perform "Gimme More."

Needless to say, Britney was PISSED! … as any mom would be. Britney was so upset she walked through her performance just to get it over with (despite encouragement from her friends, including Sam who was apparently yelling at Sarah backstage) to skip out on it all together).

She held up her end of the bargain and got a major slap in the face from Sarah.

We’re sure other excuses for Brit-Brit’s uncomfortable-looking routine will continue to pop up today.

We’d like to float our own theory that Britney had her Cheetos power snack way too close to curtain call.

You simply cannot shake your money maker with real feeling when you’re still digesting such cheese-flavored goodness.

Even if you do somehow get the orange stains off your hands in time.

According to the Daily Mail, Amy Winehouse’s father has joined forces with her record label to gain control over her finances while she struggles with her addictions.

Amy’s new husband Blake Fielder-Civil is being painted as the bad guy in this scenario and the reason for the legal wrangling.

According to a source, unemployed Blake controls the cash. The source said: "Amy just hands everything over to him. . .

Mitch has told a friend he fears Blake’s influence will see Amy overdosing or committing suicide if he leaves or cheats.

“It makes me sick, he’s the reason she’ll die. I’m not going to see him get everything that she worked so hard for,” he told the friend.

After Amy and Blake were photographed covered in blood and scratches two weeks ago, they were spotted in a bank where she withdrew hundreds of pounds in cash, and then handed it over to her husband.

You know what they always say, "The couple that cuts together, spends all the money on drugs together."

The photo below illustrates the toll her career and the drugs and perhaps the hubby have had on her.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that she may not survive this.

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The Top 10 Things Most Likely Going Through Angelina’s Head At This Moment:

10. I need to call my dentist.

9. I hope my face doesn’t freeze in this expression.

8. How long do I have to pretend like I care?

7. I think I just fell asleep.

6. My bullet-proof vest sure is stylish.

5. I wonder if Brad is calling Jen right now.

4. I wonder if she has any kids I can adopt.

3. I’m so beautiful.

2. Is anyone else’s butt crack sweating?

And the NUMBER ONE THING GOING THROUGH ANGELINA’S HEAD AT THIS MOMENT IS…

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you’ve got problems. I’ve got a hankering for some lesbian action but the stinking paparazzi follow me around so much I can’t seem to make it happen. Shiloh is just so white, and I hate white kids. The other kids actually expect me to pay attention to them. I mean, they want me to carry them everywhere, and I don’t like to eat, so I only weigh like 80 pounds. I’m running out of really cool names for them. And I haven’t French kissed my brother in months. Now THOSE are problems."

Jim Carrey might be known for his zany sense of humor, but girlfriend Jenny McCarthy appears to be dead serious about her body. TMZ posted this photo of her on a recent vacation with Jim in Hawaii. McCarthy has admitted to using Weight Watchers to help her lose the baby weight she gained after having her son. Can you imagine being an overweight, suburban mom who can’t fit into her size 14 jeans and this skinny beeyatch shows up? I’m surprised they didn’t beat her, tie her up, and force her to eat a gallon of Chubby Hubby.

The Aflac duck has nothing on Salma Hayek’s pregnancy waddle. Check out this photo of her after eating at Fred Segal’s Cafe in West Hollywood. She is one hot mamacita. But seriously, who is she planning on feeding with those breasts? One boob alone could feed a third world country. As she walked by, she had to swat several local cats, dogs, and men, as virtually everything with a mouth was trying to latch on..