We can only tell that this is Lindsay Lohan and not Dina Lohan because we’ve seen other pictures of her in this dress. Which reminds us that we need to make a note, if you’re going to parade all over town, showing off the newest in scofflaw monitoring, you might want to think about shoes compatible with your anklet.

Is anyone else concerned about Firecrotch’s premature aging? She could easily pass for 35 and the "Coca-Cola" isn’t helping. You don’t really believe it’s just soda in that can, do you?

We know that the ankle bracelet is an alcohol-sensor thingee. But, c’mon, that thing is completely voluntary — a ploy conjured up to reassure the public and potential employers that Lindsay’s appearances at parties and whirlwind jaunts to Las Vegas in no way indicate that she isn’t serious about her sobriety.

She’s serious, see! She’s wearing an ankle bracelet!

Oh…you want to see the reports? Er…

The AP has a good one this Friday morning. It’s a tale of an innocent, altruistic college student whose new cell phone has Paris Hilton’s old cell phone number.

As one might expect, dead-of-night hilarity has ensued.

For months, Shira Barlow’s cell phone was flooded with wrong-number calls and text messages, mostly between 2 and 4 a.m. on weekends. Told they had reached a college student, callers refused to believe it.

"Baby girl, how are you?" one man purred in a foreign accent. "Why are you doing this?" a woman asked. "This is so rude." And there were several seemingly random references to "Paris."

Besides the expected where’s-the-party calls, Hilton’s old phone number has been the destination of supportive messages.

Then came the day Hilton was sentenced to jail after violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. Messages about parties were replaced by dozens expressing condolences.

"People were scared for her," Barlow said.

The phone traffic trailed off when Hilton entered jail last month. But when Hilton was released, a new crop of messages flooded in.

"It’s disgusting how they treated you in there, but once again you have showed the world that you can do anything," one wrote.

Barlow said she has resisted the temptation to pose as Hilton to get into exclusive parties. But she did message supporters "thanks so much," believing Hilton would appreciate it.

It’s situations like this that unlimited-text-message plans were born for. What a nice girl that Barlow, sending messages of gratefulness on Hilton’s behalf.

The new-and-improved post-jail Paris would likely return the favor if the tables were turned.

You! Stop the snickering.

Read more…

TMZ caught up with Kathy Hilton leaving the Ivy yesterday and asked her how Paris is doing and what the family has planned for her release.

Momma Hilton didn’t mention any big parties, implying that they would hunker down as a family. No mention, either, of whether the family time would be spent at the house in West Hollywood, leaving fed-up neighbors to wonder whether to expect a media frenzy Monday.

Of course, Paris owes NBC a million-dollar interview, so we wonder what "decompression" really means to the Hilton clan.

You can see the TMZ video here.

Kate Beckinsdale was radiant and her body looked amazing in the skintight white dress she wore to the UK premiere of Die Hard 4.0.

Tongues are really wagging, and hanging out, after she and husband Len Wiseman steamed up the dance floor that night, says The Daily Mail.

Pictures of Wiseman, the film’s director, clasping Beckinsdale’s behind are eclipsing photos of the flick’s star, Bruce Willis, who was looking pretty good himself.

Read more and see the party pics…

George Clooney joined 300 residents in signing a petition against development in the town of Laglio on Lake, MSNBC reports.

“Yes I signed it. Almost every member of the town signed it,” the 46-year-old actor said in an e-mail to The Associated Press on Friday.

“My concern is that this village that has stood for hundreds of years would be destroyed simply because I happened to have lived there for the last six years. I told my neighbors that I would do what they wanted. And it seemed that they didn’t want to demolish the harbor where all the local fishermen keep their boats,” Clooney said.
Clooney, who won an Oscar for his role in “Syriana,” said the petition appeared to have had the desired effect, and that the mayor had announced Thursday that at least some of the plans — which opponents say would damage the environment as well as the 18th-century old harbor — had been scrapped.

“The petition, signed by three-fourths of the town, seems to have proved the difference. It’s a testament to the character of the people in Laglio,” the actor said.

Clooney’s 15-bedroom villa on Lake Como is impressive and legendary for housing his superstar friends, but it’s not nearly as exclusive as one might think. He reportedly took a "dancer" there, remember?

We’re all for preserving traditions and protecting old towns. It’s just that, as thoughtful and civically responsible as Clooney’s actions are, the no-more-growth approach smacks of a NIMBY thing…or even post-gentrification exclusion.

The place is so great, but now that he’s found it he wants to preserve the throwback, relaxed lifestyle and nobody else should come?

Just doesn’t seem fair to Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, et al.

They’ve probably fallen in love with the town now, too.