I heard a report from a survey today that said if Paris Hilton was a spokes-person, people would be least likely to buy a product she endorsed. Credibility is not something Paris has a lot of. A little know fact about the Hilton family is that the Fantastic Four movie was based partially off of the Hilton family superpowers. Remember Mr. Fantastic, well, meet Paris, a.k.a. Miss Fantastic.

Here’s Paris getting out of her Mercedes SLR (new). Looks like our super hero is in a sticky situation, but have no fear. Paris activates her skinny power, then her stretch power to allow the door to squeeze by her, amazing! I wish there were a show based around the Fantastic Hilton family. Someday, someday.

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What’s a party without Paris Hilton? Just plain boring. Over the
weekend Paris managed to by getting drunk at a Hollywood party, jumping in the
pool, and just by luck a light near the garden fell into the pool with her. Most
likely someone kicked the light in with her, just to end her miserable life.
Shocklingly she wasn’t electrocuted to death. Her boyfriend Nacho Comocho jumped
in after her, and knocked her in the head, but still she didn’t die. Paris
laughed off the whole incident because she was so wasted she was numb, and
didn’t feel a thing. She probably won’t remenber it happened either. Afterwards
no one wanted to get in the pool, fearing it might have bacteria that could
attach to their genitals. There are more pictures in the gallery. Here’s more
from the rumor report.

"Everyone was stunned. Paris was lucky she didn’t get electrocuted. She
thought it was hilarious. Stavros jumped in next and accidentally knocked her
on the head in the process."

"Paris was so drunk she could barely hold on to the pole, let alone dance."

And to think I turned down an invitation to that party.

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Miss Paris Hilton showed up Thursday night at the Hollywood hot spot Basque where she was seen with her boyfriend Stavros Niarchos. The hotel heiress was treated like a princess, as usual, when the cops noticed that she had no registration for her new Mercedes. Check out what went down while Paris got down in the club.

Afterall, it is Los Angeles, and they have tons of stars there. Stars have plenty of attention to deal with, so the cops don’t want to kick up more dust. Besides it’s cool having celebrities hang out at the same places you hang out.

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Technorati Tags: Paris Hilton, bunny, Easter

Paris Hilton not only managed to disgrace the memory of Marilyn Monroe with her pseudo-imitation of Monroe, but also managed to be so outlandishly whorish as to make the Playboy Bunnies look like school marms.

*Note the song is videotaped, not live. She even had to have audio engineers fix her voice on a rendition of Happy Birthday.

I feel sick.