Tommy Lee reportedly had sex on a banquette table in front of a room full of people at the Dune bar in the Hamptons Sunday night. Page Six says:

Lee’s raunchy bar behavior grossed out a room full of revelers at Dune in the Hamptons on Sunday night when the Motley Crue drummer and a blond party girl "were flat-out [bleep]ing" on a banquette, according to multiple witnesses. One told us, "When Tommy walked in, he asked, ’Is it cool to have sex in here?’ The hostess thought he was kidding, but . . . then he just went to town with this girl. We were trying not to pay attention because it was so disgusting."

In the Hamptons the girl Tommy Lee was banging is known as "The Town Whore." I read a report recently that most girls on match.com screw on the first date, and I heard this girl has a profile there, so I guess that would be proof. Of course that doesn’t explain why 98% of the guys using match.com haven’t had any luck getting laid. It could be the commonly used subject line in their email that says, "hey good lookin, whatcha got cookin?"

We really wanted to entitle this post "Nicole Kidman, Fool, Was In A Rush to Marry After Escaping Her Unholy Union with Tom Cruise" but we feared that it might not be the best search-engine-appropriate headline.

And that we might spark the ire of an unnamed, wee-yet-litigious man.

Oh! And that we might sound too much like Mr. T.

So, the story, according to Page Six, is that Nicole Kidman reveals in her Vanity Fair interview that she was "secretly engaged" to a man she won’t name in between the end of her contract marriage to Mr. Tom Cruise and before she married Aussie country crooner Keith Urban.

But our sources say he was Lenny Kravitz. "They were even house-hunting together for a while," a spy said. A representative for Kravitz said, "I cannot confirm or deny it." A rep for Kidman said, "I don’t know."

So there you have it…unsubstantiated, yet highly likely…and not nearly as interesting as the picture on the cover.

Come on. Secretly engaged for a short time? That’s like being almost pregnant. Half the kids in school can claim that.

US Magazine claims Owen Wilson was addicted to both heroin and cocaine, and he went to church 3 days before he attempted suicide. Here’s more:

Wilson visited a St. Monica church in his neighborhood on August 23, out of either devotion or desperation. Three days later, actor Luke Wilson, 35, found his brother in his Santa Monica, California, home with his left wrist slashed, having ingested a quantity of pills.

While the news stunned Owen’s fans, members of his and Hudson’s inner circles were reportedly all too aware of his private struggles with depression and addiction to cocaine and heroin.

According to sources close to the actor, his downward spiral only worsened after his June split from Hudson, 28.
"We always thought he was just too fun-loving, but now it’s obvious he was just dealing with way too much to handle," says a family friend.

I still think Owen went over the edge because of the breakup with Kate Hudson. She probably didn’t mind the drugs, but a church boy was just too much for her to handle what with her Pagan beliefs and all. Page Six agrees with US that Owen was addicted to cocaine and heroin. Here’s more:

Wilson’s drug use was so frequent, it was even the cause of his Memorial Day breakup with Kate Hudson. And his friends are placing the blame squarely on Wilson’s newfound best buddy, British actor Steve Coogan, with whom he starred in several films.

"I went through it with Steve," Coogan’s former girlfriend, rocker Courtney Love, told US. "I was just out of rehab, and he was right there with the drugs. I tried to warn Owen. I tried to warn his friends. I hope from the bottom of my heart that Owen stays the hell away from that guy."

Wilson’s addiction was so severe, his pal Woody Harrelson tried to stage an intervention at his home in Maui. "Owen went to Maui, Hawaii, to kick his habit," a longtime Wilson pal told the mag. "He was like a baby on that couch."

The friend said that heroin was the first thing that came to mind when Wilson and Hudson split and he suddenly "disappeared off the face of the earth."

Another cause of his depression was his very public split with Hudson it all became too much for the actress when Wilson’s struggles came to light.

She even banned Coogan from Wilson’s house while they were dating. "She knew he was bad," said a source.

If Courtney Love says Steve Coogan is bad news, then he’s REALLY bad news. It’s a good thing Coogan isn’t on trial for murder with Courtney on the stand pointing her bony finger at him saying, "Steve Coogan did it." If Owen was on drugs it’s no wonder he was depressed. I’d like to think it was more the drugs than Hudson, because I really like her as an actress, and I don’t want to imagine her crushing someone’s heart while it beats in her hand.

Yesterday Variety Fair asked Fox if Owen’s mental health situation might affect his participation in "Marley & Me." The Fox spokesman called the question "totally inappropriate." Today it is being reported that Owen is dropping out of a new comedy "Tropical Thunder." Owen was scheduled to begin filming his minor part in a week. Looks like that question was reasonable after all.

Get well soon Owen.

Britney Spears was just about to record a song that was sure to be a hit with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, but she backed out at the last minute. Her record label is now concerned her soon-to-be released album won’t have a hit on it. Page Six says:

A music industry source said Timberlake wrote the duet specifically for Spears. "Timbaland set aside a week out of his crazy schedule to do this - and then, just before she was supposed to fly out, Britney abruptly canceled the session and refused to do the song.

"It’s crazy," the insider added. "She’s looking for a comeback, and this would have not only been a huge hit, but something she could have opened the MTV Video Awards with and really blown everyone away."

Another insider said, "Listen, everyone is worried. In her mind, her album is done and she’s done enough work . . . She’s an easy target right now, because she’s . . . sick. People like her are sick. It’s like an anorexic who’s sick in the head and needs help. She needs help. It’s sad because what she’s got - and we’ve heard it’s like bipolar disorder - can easily be treated with medication, but she won’t do it."

If someone offered to split a winning lottery ticket with you, would you turn it down? That’s what Britney just did. The judge in her custody case is probably going to rule Britney is crazy. Then Britney will climb onto his desk, take a dump on it, and say "who’s the crazy one now?"

In some train-wreckalicious reality TV news, Page Six is reporting that The Donald is trying to enlist the whore corps for "Celebrity Apprentice."

The Donald tells Page Six he’s talking with Britney Spears about appearing on his upcoming "Celebrity Apprentice," and that Paris Hilton has also expressed an interest in being scrutinized by the mega-mogul. He’s also planning to call Lindsay Lohan this week to see if she’d be willing to try to salvage her plummeting career on the show.

"We’re negotiating with Britney right now. Can you imagine her doing it?" Trump told Page Six. "We’re not sure what will happen. She’s a [bleep]ing mess. And that little reality show she had did nothing. But she likes the idea of being on television and I think she’d be great." Hilton, he adds, "wants to be on, and we’re thinking about it, but I don’t know if we’re going to do it."

And Lohan? "Another [bleep]ing mess. We haven’t asked her yet, but I’m going to call her this week. It would a positive thing for her to do . . . for all of them," he says.

Seriously, this has to happen. Can’t you just picture it? Paris would spend the whole time trying to promote the sequel to her sex tape, "One Night In Paris And All I Got Was This Lousy Case of Herpes." Britney would be pimping an energy drink for kids. Baby Bull, Y’all! And Lindsay would just drink herself into oblivion and, when the Donald tells her she’s fired, she’ll run him over with a golf cart and blame it on some poor Production Assistant.