Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom are Dating
Posted on October 1, 2007 at 9:38 am (PST)
Both Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were on vacation in Mexico. The pictures aren’t clear enough to be positive this is Orlando, but assuming it is, these two are dating, and that means they might be sharing bodily fluids. Jennifer always seems so prudish, like a nun who wears a chastity belt, and has her legs super glued together. Orlando only dates girls that keep their legs wide open and call out a number to keep the line moving, so this calls into question the Mother Teresa image Aniston projects. In fact, Aniston has such a squeaky clean image that her virginity is being auctioned off in Japan, and the bids are still climbing.
Orlando Bloom Does VMan
Posted on March 19, 2007 at 9:56 pm (PST)
Orland Bloom appeared in VMan Magazine, whatever that is. It looks like it’s a gay man’s magazine. Definitely not GQ.
Orlando Bloom Hangs 10 in Hawaii
Posted on January 8, 2007 at 1:59 pm (PST)
Orlando Bloom was in Hawaii over the weekend. He’s such a hotty blowing snot without anything to wipe his nose with, and using mother nature as his rocky toilet. Don’t worry, Bloom washed himself in the same ocean surf your kids swim in. Arrrg!
Penelope Cruz Likes Horndogs
Posted on September 28, 2006 at 11:07 am (PST)
It might come as a surprise to some to see Penelope Cruz leaving Hyde with Orlando Bloom in his car the other night. Orlando is a horn-dog, just like Matt was. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Penelope with Jude Law next. She just likes the bad boys.
Kate Bosworth and Orlando Bloom Split
Posted on September 5, 2006 at 10:20 pm (PST)
Orlando Bloom and his on-again, off-again girlfriend of nearly four years, Kate Bosworth, have split. Sources close to the pair say they have decided to go their separate ways. (The couple’s rep could not be reached for comment.)
Bloom, 29, is currently on location in Southern California shooting Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End. He recently attended the Teen Choice Awards on August 20 solo, where he accepted the surfboard award for “Choice Hottie.â€
However, there could be some awkward moments in the former couple’s future. This month, they’re set to start filming Seasons of Dust, a Depression-era drama about a young woman (Bosworth) whose uncle commits suicide, forcing her on the lam with a dashing thief (Bloom).
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