Britney Spears Needs a Bra and Detox Tea

Britney Spears was out partying again with her smashed up white Mercedes, and it looks like she might have parked in a handicap space, or at least 3 feet into one. That’s gonna really piss off the chick who parks there when she goes out to party, which is why she drives a monster truck that she’ll park right on top of Britney’s car. Those bugged out eyes, blue contacts, crap brown hair that hasn’t been washed or combed in days, that too tight silk shirt with grease stains, and those lumpy breasts with nipples that point in opposite directions and rest on Britney’s belly, really get me hot. Britney used to make me puke in my mouth, but now my standards are pretty low, ever since I broke my arms. It’s rough. I can’t adjust myself, so I have to sit on my nuts to type these articles with a pen in my mouth. I don’t mind though. I do it all for you. You’re welcome.

Justin Timberlake Fights a Paparazzi - Video

Justin Timberlake may have backed out of the lightweight girls boxing championship, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a tough guy. Watch him smack down a paparazzi camera like he’s some kind of wild animal. Every time I see Justin acting manly it makes my nipples hard.

The Weatherman and the Giant Boob

Chris Allen, on WBKO in Kentucky, took the bait when a giant boob from an earlier story ended up on his monitor. Chris succumbed to the power of the breast. He licked, sucked, and tweaked that boob until there was a nip in the air.

Beyonce Knowles Nude

A guy named Bruce Briggs painted this picture, and he says:

This portrait has generated a lot of buzz. It exudes femininity at its finest. She graces the canvas with the perfect blend of innocence and sexuality.

A lot of people are saying she looks like Beyonce Knowles. I have no comment.

If this is supposed to be Beyonce, she should be livid. Bruce, who calls himself the Airbrush King and celebrity portrait artist, misplaced her nipple. It’s a good thing he’s not a plastic surgeon, or a nuclear power plant operator like Homer Simpson.

Christina Ricci Nip Slip

Chris Evans was arm and arm with Christina Ricci at club Box last night, and boy did she look happy. Ricci’s nipples have been seen more often than her smiles. You won’t see any smiles in this post, but you can see some nipples in the pictures below. What was Evans doing with this crab apple? He must have lost a bet or something. Well, at least he pays up.