Heath Ledger is back in town and making time with model Helena Christensen. We’re not terribly fond of Mr. Ledger’s mug, so behold the lovely supermodel herself.

The New York Post is reporting:

Just a week after announcing his split from Michelle Williams, Ledger has been squiring Danish pastry Helena Christensen all over town. Tuesday night, the two were at Wakiya "making out throughout the dinner," our spy said. Acting like a good boyfriend, Ledger even "held her bag for her as she did interviews."

What a gentleman. Isn’t that what you’re thinking?

No? Maybe you’re thinking "Gee, Heath, have some class. Is the PDA really necessary so soon?"

Wrong again?

Fine. At this hour, you’re probably thinking…danish, cheese danish, bear claw. Yum.

The reaction today to Britney Spears 2007 MTV Video Music Awards performance is ranging from shock to horror, but no one is surprised. The AP said:

As in most train wrecks, it was hard to focus on just one thing as the Britney Spears disaster unfolded. There was just so much that went wrong. Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears’ once-taut belly. At times she just stopped singing altogether, as if even she knew nothing could save her performance.

The AP reports just the facts. The New York Post said:

…why was Britney Spears’ totally lame, pathetically lip-synched Video Music Awards performance at the Palms Casino last night allowed to be seen by the rest of the world? Spears was stuffed into a spangled bra and hot pants and jiggled like Jell-O as she sleepwalked through the song. She didn’t seem to care that she danced like she had a pantload, that her lips weren’t synched with the song, and that the tune isn’t all that great.

The New York Daily News said:

Glassy-eyed and out of step, Britney seemed lost in a sea of pole dancers and overmuscled male models who groped her so much she wasn’t even mouthing the words by the time her number ended. Cuts to the audience revealed fellow artists rolling their eyes. 50 Cent looked like he might have just thrown up in his mouth, and Rihanna was flat-out laughing to a table guest.

And Us Magazine said:

Following a dismal performance of Spears’ new single, "Gimme More," a source tells Us that Spears was spotted "crying badly backstage. She’s devastated. She was really nervous and knows she screwed up." The singer may have had an inkling of what was to come prior to her performance: A VMA insider tells Us that Spears fired her hairstylist right before going on.

Click here to see Britney’s MTV Video Music Award performance if you missed it. These reviews are far too kind. Look at 50 Cent’s face below during Britney’s performance. It’s the look of shock and horror. With all the gore and violence 50 Cent has seen on the streets, Britney’s performance is the one that will leave him shaking, and scared to sleep alone at night. When 50 Cent left the VMAs last night he was as white as Michael Jackson, and kept mumbling, "The horror, oh the horror."

According to the New York Post, Pamela Anderson has been keeping at least near-naked company with Rick Salomon. Ewwww…

She could do so much better. Sure, she has bad taste in men, but the girl is looking good as evidenced by the pics of her frolicking on the beach that are making the rounds on the Internets.

At least, she looks good if you don’t look too closely. Some of the pics look like "before" examples for a sun-damage reversing laser treatment.

But, there’s no denying that her body is still slammin’.

Which is really good news, because nobody will be looking at her face in the inevitable sex tape that will surface if these two continue their liaison.

Remember, Ricky boy is Paris Hilton’s former flame and co-star in her infamous sex tape.

With their combined experience, Pam and Rick are sure to make a fortune shilling their naked escapades. No lawsuits if they’re in cahoots!

Kelly Clarkson is finally opening up about her battles with her record label and the venerable Clive Davis. Apparently, she thinks that she knows more about music than the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Producer.

She probably intends to vindicate herself by sharing this story, but it only servers to cast her as arrogant and foolish. (No wonder she thinks she’d make a bad mother.)

According to the New York Post:

Clarkson insisted on recording her own songs on her third album, while Davis - mindful of needing hits - wanted her to sing tunes written by others. But in the August issue of Blender, Clarkson says she told Davis: "I don’t know you very well, and I am not a bull-[bleep]er. I get [that] you don’t like the album. You’re 80; you’re not supposed to like my album."

Kelly, your album is tanking and you had to cancel your tour because nobody was interested. Despite your belief in your own business smarts, you obviously need better handlers, or this wouldn’t have come out in your interview with Blender.

Embarrassing.

Don Imus friends Mike Francesa and Chris Russo, of "Mike and the Mad Dog," while celebrating the sports station’s 20th anniversary last Friday, whispered that a deal to bring the talk-radio legend back to the radio station is in the works.

"When we return to our regular schedule this September, I hope the team will once again be complete," Francesa said.

Imus has received numerous radio offers, but is unable to accept any deal until he settles with CBS, the station’s owner. A return to airwaves could avoid a potential contentious legal battle over his current contract, reports the New York Post.

Tapes from Imus’ show were featured Friday morning; a highly unusual move for any media outlet that had so recently sent its star packing.