Beyonce Knowles Nude

A guy named Bruce Briggs painted this picture, and he says:

This portrait has generated a lot of buzz. It exudes femininity at its finest. She graces the canvas with the perfect blend of innocence and sexuality.

A lot of people are saying she looks like Beyonce Knowles. I have no comment.

If this is supposed to be Beyonce, she should be livid. Bruce, who calls himself the Airbrush King and celebrity portrait artist, misplaced her nipple. It’s a good thing he’s not a plastic surgeon, or a nuclear power plant operator like Homer Simpson.

Tila Tequila Gets a Bi-Dating Show on MTV

Without having done porn, yet, Tila Tequila is by far the most popular self declared Internet slut. She has over 2 million MySpace friends. Now she’s taking it up a notch, or down below the belt, with her new show on MTV that will include a lot of girls slobbering all over each other. Tila says:

That’s right everyone! I am soooo excited! This is what I have been keeping top secret for soooo long! My new reality show on MTV will be like NO OTHER SHOW ON TELEVISION HISTORY!

…the show will be about me finding love as a BISEXUAL!!!!! THAT IS CRAZY RIGHT? So on my new reality show there will be 16 male contestants and 16 female contestants all fighting for my love….GUYS AGAINST GIRLS….WHO WILL I END UP HOOKING UP WITH????? WILL I BE STRAIGHT OR LESBIAN IN THE END?????

This show would better if people could call in to vote like on American Idol. I can’t wait to see the behind the scenes show, where everyone who had sex with Tila is in a clinic getting treated for an STD on their crotch, and tongue. I don’t want to burst Tila’s bubble, but another show on STDs and unsafe sex isn’t "television history." They show those on PBS all the time, without the bikinis, pillows, and oil wrestling.

An Un-Bi-Lievable New MTV Show

In "I Can’t Believe This Isn’t a FOX Show" news, Internet vixen Tila Tequila is getting her own dating show, with a soft core porn twist.

MySpace phenomenon Tila Tequila is getting a new MTV dating show in which 32 lucky singles compete for her attention — "Bachelor"-style — with one small difference: The contestants are half straight men and half lesbians. It’s twice the sexiness!

Tila will welcome all comers into a mansion, where she will whittle down the contestants each week, until only one man or woman is left standing. MTV is promising that each episode will end with a "dramatic ceremony unlike anything you’ve ever seen before." Alright, we’re a tad bi-curious.

"A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" premieres October 9. May the best sexually adventurous person win!

Coincidentally, Rosie O’Donnell has just applied to be an MTV Production Assistant.

Source

Lindsay Lohan Wants to Marry Lesbian Lover

The New York Daily News is sharing the juicy correspondence revealed when Lindsay Lohan’s MySpace account was compromised. Someone with exclusive access exposed the contents to the press.

Apparently one of [the 75 friends with access] gave the magazine access to "heated" exchanges between Lohan and her openly gay deejay pal, Samantha Ronson. Details of the affectionate correspondence appear under the headline, "Lindsay’s Lesbian Love Letters!"

Lohan allegedly tells Ronson: "Babe, if I don’t have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you and have children with you."

Apparently Lindsay isn’t fussy about who changes her name.

"Go to bed babe," she wrote to her pal late one night.

"I love you. - [signed] Lindsay Ronson."

Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. Sapphic love or not, didn’t you learn that you should be careful who you surround yourself with? Isn’t Samantha Ronson the one who sold you out to the paparazzi before you headed to rehab.

Sure, we’re happy to hear that you’re done with drug-and-whore fan Calum Best? But, what about the hot young Lamas? He seems like a nice boy.

If you’re going to go down this road, why not be a little more selective and pick a nice lesbian with your interests at heart? Have you tried Match?

Lily Allen Calls Paris Hilton Hideous and Amy Winehouse a Faker

Gotta love Lily Allen. She just tells it like it is, even about herself! We like this so much better than when she’s whining on MySpace.

The latest pearls about Paris Hilton, the Sun is reporting, are howlers:

"I think Paris is amazing. I mean she’s hideous, but I think she’s amazing at the same time.

"I love her. I think The Simple Life is genius. I can never figure out if she plays up to it or not.”

It’s not the first time feisty Lil has taken a pot shot at the blonde heiress.

She once labelled her "useless and hideously untalented" and suggested people who bought her debut album should be killed off.

The Smile singer also rubbished her rival Amy Winehouse’s singing ability.

She added: “I think she has a cool voice. But saying that, I don’t think it’s her real voice.”

An Amy/Lily street battle to the death may not be a stretch, though it could go either way. Winehouse will either come out swinging, or retreat into private to cut herself.

Tune in tomorrow, when Lily Allen might claim that she was drunk when she did this interview because she’s an alcoholic. Or that she was talking crazy because she was weak from an eating disorder brought on by Hollywood’s unrealistic expectations. Or that she just had PMS.

All revelations are possible with loose-cannon Allen.