The LAPD says that Ving Rhames’ dogs may have mauled and killed a man who worked for him. KABC in Los Angeles says that the man had bite marks all over his body but it is not clear if the dogs killed the man or if he died naturally. TMZ says:

…the victim worked as a caretaker for Rhames, watching over the dogs and his home. The four dogs, Mastiffs and an English Bulldog, have been taken into custody by Animal Control. When they received the call this morning at 7:15, they say they found a 40-year old black male on the front lawn, deceased.

This is why it’s a bad idea to eat at KFC before you feed the dogs. It appears the LAPD missed the copious amonts of peanut butter on the victim’s hands, chest, and most of his body, as well as on the teeth of the dogs that attacked him. The only way to put a positive twist on this story would be to say the victim’s name, ironically, was Michael Vick.

TMZ has just reported that K-Fed and Britney are finally divorced.  However, the custody arrangements might surprise you:

Here’s what TMZ knows: K-Fed is pulling in 15K a month from Britney for child support. He’s also getting 20 grand a month in spousal support, but that’s based on the prenup, and it appears the alimony gravy train will come to a screeching halt in November.

As for custody, we’ve learned it will stay at 50/50. It’s amazing disso-queen Wasser was able to get a 50/50 custody split given Brit’s craziness, which included wild partying, erratic behavior and a stint in rehab. This type of custody arrangement is typically reserved for a stable couple.

But all is not over! We’re told neither Brit nor Fed-Ex are happy with the custody arrangement, and either of them can go back to court and ask for a change. On top of that, Kevin won’t even speak to Spears, so they will probably be back in court asking the judge to make decisions about child rearing.

What do these two consult right now when they have child rearing questions, "Michael Vick’s Guide To Raising Dogs?"  These kids would have a better childhood being raised by wolves.

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick loves dogs. Some people think of dogs as family, some cultures eat them, Michael Vick just likes to torture and kill them after watching them fight each other to the death. Vick has been indicted by the feds for illegal dog fighting and more:

Vick was charged with illegal competitive dog fighting, which involves training pit bulls to fight against other dogs. When authorities searched Vick’s property this month, they found 54 pit bulls and a host of brutal items including a "rape stand," used to hold dogs in place for mating; an electric treadmill modified for dogs and a bloodied piece of carpeting.

Graves of seven pit bulls were found inside "Bad Newz Kennels," a Virginia property owned by Vick had been operating since 2001. The dogs were allegedly killed after testing whether they would be good fighters. According to documents, dogfights would end when one dog died or backed down, and dogs were sometimes put to death by drowning, strangulation, hanging, gunshot, electrocution or some other method.

It’s particularly interesting that Vick had a doggy "rape stand." Perhaps he liked to put on his top hat and monicle, light up a fag, excuse me, cigarette, put on some romantic music, grab a freshly warmed bottle of K-Y, and get it on with his kennel of pit bulls. Vick loves dogs, he’s just so misunderstood. Check out his favorite puppy commercial below.

Kinda makes ya wanna run out and buy a Dodge Nitro doesn’t it? If Vick can’t play football anymore, at least he can be the new Dodge Nitro spokesman.