Paula Abdul is Like a Narcoleptic Tyrant

Paula Abdul is surrounded by assistants and stylists and, according to Page Six, she runs a tight ship.

"There’s a salon chair in her house where she gets her hair and makeup done every day. She’ll sit in it, set an alarm, and then, because she’s on so many painkillers, pass out while her hair and makeup guy gets her ready for the day. When the alarm goes off she’ll wake up, and God forbid the poor guy isn’t done yet. All hell breaks loose."

Abdul’s rep said, "There’s no alarm that I’ve ever seen."

This is what should be made into a reality show. It would be a nail biter!!

Can you imagine the heart-pounding, brow-sweat countdown for the poor makeup guy? Holding her pharmaceutically leaden eyelids open to apply mascara, he likely has one eye on the timer and one eye watching for a tell-tale flicker right before Paula startles awake and starts choking him.

Maybe we’re devious, but we’re thinking that resetting the timer while she’s asleep might be a strategy. In her drugged up state, she’s not going to remember.

Or, they could try shaking that Abdul munchkin upside down by her ankles and demanding more time for each morning’s Herculean makeover.