Rush & Molloy report that the jailbird-to-be Paris Hilton has ordered up stylists to show up at her Hollywood Hills home at 9:00 AM on Monday, so she can look her best for jail for which she must report for by June 5.

Hilton is also said to have decided to write a prison diary during her 23-day sentence, for publication upon release. (No doubt Oscar Wilde’s "Ballad of Reading Gaol" is one of her inspirations.)

"Paris’ prison diary will make a more dramatic read than Martha Stewart’s," says someone with knowledge of her business dealings.

"If she can make it believable, and not exaggerate too much, she might expect to make a million dollars out of it."

Her diary should make for a quick read since it will only be 23 pages long, and probably will only have pictures of bars drawn in Crayola crayon.

"Paris doesn’t do contrite very well," says the source. "She will be glam, and Paris is the queen of the prop. Expect her hair pulled back in a ponytail, big sunglasses and maybe a Holy Bible under one arm. And she just got a new kitten, so maybe she’ll hand that to her sister [Nicky] as she gets out of the car." Adds the insider: "There might even be tears."

Paris was caught recently coming out of a recording studio, perhaps after recording a remake of Elvis’s best selling song Jail House Rock. Maybe Paris will record a Christian rock album.

Paris was also spotted at the Grove shopping with a new boy toy, pictured below, who refused to give his name when asked by the paparazzi. Maybe she hired him for the day.

Not one to waste a minute going to church, Paris is partying until she goes to jail. After hitting a BlackBerry Curve launch party at the Regent Beverly Wilshire hotel on Thursday, she went dancing with friends at one of her favorite L.A. hot spots, Teddy’s. Pictured below in a vitage peach dress.

“She was getting hugs from her friends and looking rather down and depressed,” says an onlooker.

Paris and her sister left Teddy’s shortly after 2 a.m. in the back seat of black Range Rover.

In the pictures below where Paris has the red ribbon in her hair, she is carrying a new script and looking really happy. Her optimism is very disturbing. You’d think we’d hear about her getting stopped at the Mexican border trying to leave the U.S., but instead she’s walking around with a smile on her face, and religious books under her arm.

Martha Stewart (65) recently told Howard Stern (52) that “girls that looked like boys” hit on her in prison, and asked her out on lunch dates. The doyenne of domesticity and former jailguest stopped by Stern’s Sirius Satellite radio show on Thursday December 14 to share her experiences in the big house, where Stewart spent five months after being convicted in 2004 on four felony counts involving insider trading. Interview highlights below:

On her past crush on Howard Stern:

Martha Stewart: “I don’t have a lot of offers to go out on dates.”

Howard Stern: “I thought there was a point you wanted me.“

Martha: “I did…but then I met you.”

On her brief courtship with Sir Anthony Hopkins:

Martha: “I wish more men would ask me out, actually.”

Howard: “Men are afraid of you.”

Martha: “I know, that’s the whole problem.”

Howard: “Sir Anthony Hopkins…you dated.”

Martha: “Oh, I loved him, but he was…scary. I was going to invite him up to Maine, I have this beautiful home in Maine…but then I revisited because I saw that movie again, [Silence of the Lambs]. I couldn’t get past the Hannibal thing with him. I couldn’t get past it – do you want someone eating your brain while you are sitting in your beautiful dining room in Maine?”

Howard: “What you bring up is true because I had Linda Blair when she was very young on my show, it was after The Exorcist and she was kind of coming on to me, and I was like ‘That’s the chick who’s possessed.’”

Martha: “I would have probably had a very nice relationship with Anthony Hopkins but I couldn’t get past the Lecter thing.”

On her fellow prison inmates asking for dates and business advice:

Martha: “I managed to find a group of women there who were intelligent, had a lot of talk about.”

Howard: “Who came on to you?”

Martha: “Some girls that looked like boys.”

Howard: “What would they say to you?”

Martha: “They would ask me for lunch, a lunch date. They also wanted to learn. I’d have lunch with them. There were girls with mustaches and there were girls with beards. First they’d ask about business. They all had business plans. Everybody in prison has a business plan.”

…and Martha Stewart gives him a hand.

Martha Stewart is competitive, and hot for Rachel Ray’s secrets. Here’s more:

Martha Stewart is obviously worried about Rachel Ray – the celebrity chef whose new TV show starts today on Channel 7. Four Stewart staffers using fake names tried to infiltrate Ray’s audience at a taping last week, a source told PAGE SIX, but the spies were recognized by a security guard who also works for Stewart. “They were kicked out because they lied about their names,” sniffed the spy. “Otherwise they would have been welcome to stop by – we have nothing to hide.” A rep for Ray said: “We did have a group at a taping on Wednesday who misrepresented themselves and were turned away from being in the studio audience.” Stewart, whose ratings on NBC are mediocre, is obviously concerned about her new rival, whose Food Network ratings were through the roof. But a Stewart spokeswoman said, “No one from Martha Stewart misrepresented themselves. In fact, a Rachel staffer who they knew well, greeted them warmly, even asked if she could get them better seats. For reasons unknown to us, they were asked to leave by one of Martha’s former audience coordinators, not by a security guard – and they did so.”

Last night Martha Stewart was on The Late Show with David Letterman, and she sucked blood from his finger like it was cookie batter from a spatula.