Mark Ballas got erect after bumping and grinding with Shawn Johnson on Dancing with the Stars. Mark had to keep pulling Shawn in front of him to hide from the cameras.

Luckily Shawn’s stalker Robert O’ Ryan will probably be heading to jail. That thing in Mark’s pants is another story.

By request, here’s Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas dancing on Dancing with the Stars.

She’s as cute as a chipmunk.

Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas won this season’s Dancing with the Stars. The couple got the highest dancing scores ever, and yet I was bored with the show at least 90% of the time this year. One of these couples needs to have a juicy and drama fueled affair next year, or I may just stop watching completely. Spice it up.