Maggie Gyllenhaal (31) and Peter Sarsgaard (38) were married on Saturday in Italy. Maggie’s rep confirmed:

"We are happy to confirm that Maggie and Peter were married on Saturday, May 2."

The wedding took place in a small chapel in Brindisi. Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon were in attendance.

The couple have a daughter, Romona (2), together.

Congratulations to the happy couple! We hope Peter shaved for the wedding.

When I first saw the early trailers for The Dark Knight I didn’t think Heath Ledger could match the original Joker, but after seeing some other trailers, including this one, I’ve changed my mind. Heath has done his own original version, and I like it. The only person in the movie that makes me gag when I imagine her as a love interest is Maggie Gyllenhaal. Since Bruce Wayne was trained in Asian martial arts, I would have preferred to see a long lost love from his past, who is an Asian girl, return to Bruce’s life, only to complicate things that could reveal his identity, and bring down Gotham city. Where’s the script, I’ve got some last minute changes to make.

Lily Allen is the new face for Agent Provocateur. Recently Lily lost half her body weight, but she hasn’t lost her bad attitude. The last face for Agent Provocateur was Maggie Gyllenhaal, who didn’t make Maxim’s top ten ugliest women list, probably because she paid them off. I’m not sure how these Agent people stay in business hiring such lame celebrities. It might have something to do with tax dollars, and goverment subsidies, or maybe that’s farming. Anyway, a source said:

"The owners of Agent Provocateur, Joe Corre and Serena Rees, are delighted. They feel her natural look will appeal to a lot of women. She’s in amazing shape since she lost the weight, and the pictures of her are absolutely incredible."

What else would you expect them to say? If they were telling the truth they’d say Lily is slightly overweight, and shaped like a lumpy potato. She wears a girdle to give her that hour glass figure. Although she has a habit of kicking people, and trying to rip the camera from their hands, she’s actually a nice person once you get to know her.

Maggie Gyllenhaal is the new face of Agent Provocateur lingerie with a lot of help from Photoshop. I suppose the effort here is for Maggie to show women who have just given birth that they too can be glamorous and sexy. Seeing Maggie tied to a chair in lingerie gives me the urge to run for my life. She is the ugliest star in Hollywood. It baffles my mind that they didn’t use her as the Joker’s girlfriend in the new Batman movie. She wouldn’t even need makeup. I would be inclined to compliment her breasts, if she didn’t look like my uncle Ned.

Indie darling Maggie Gyllenhaal has made some comments that sound suspiciously like a Katie Holmes slam.

The two actresses bear a striking physical resemblance, which we’d never noticed before. And, though Gyllenhaal will be playing Rachel Dawes in "The Dark Knight," according to MSNBC, she says that marks the end of any similarities between her performance and the one phoned in by Holmes for the last Batman installment.

“I’m not walking into Katie Holmes’ performance,” Gyllenhaal said, reports WENN. “I’m thinking of it as an opportunity to play somebody who’s alive and smart. Chris (Nolan the director) asked me to do this because he wanted me, not because he wants some generic lady in a dress.”

Alive and smart. You couldn’t come up with a pithier, more accurate way to describe "the opposite of Katie Holmes since she married Tom Cruise."