Lindsay Lohan Archives

Lindsay Lohan Stealing Jewelry Again

lindsay lohan stealing jewelry again 8 22 2012 Lindsay Lohan Stealing Jewelry Again

Lindsay Lohan was questioned by police after she brought several men to an all-night party, and the owners reported to police that those men stole valuable jewlry. She then left town to avoid looking suspicious. Police say she is not a suspect, which seems like the same old great police work we’ve become accustomed to.

Tomorrow’s headline: “Police arrest Lindsay Lohan for pawning stolen jewelry.”

Thursday’s headline: “Lindsay faces 3 years in state prison.”

Friday’s headline: “Judge orders Lindsay to serve 2 hours of community service for theft.”

Monday’s headline: “Lohan fails to show up for community service, judge says ‘Close enough.’”

Lindsay Lohan Looks Drunk While Driving

Lindsay Lohan was taking her chances getting behind the wheel after her latest accident, which seems like an annual event. Never mind how she looks, this is sober and ready for work in Lindsay’s delusional eyes. She’s even back to tweeing things only a genius would say:

“Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games is genius. I want to do Thelma&Louise w/her but ala Natural Born Killers (style wise) 2 girls-2 guys”

I could say the same thing about any actor who made a movie that had huge box office numbers, but let’s give Lindsay some credit for seeing things the rest of us don’t, like herself in a movie with Jennifer Lawrence.

Lindsay Lohan Almost Found Dead in Her Hotel Room

lindsay lohan car crash hospital 6 16 2012 hollywoodgrind 1 Lindsay Lohan Almost Found Dead in Her Hotel Room

Lindsay Lohan is back to being herself. In the last week she smashed her rented porshe into the back of a truck, and blamed the truck driver, who then hired a lawyer after Lindsay tried to blame the crash on him. The truck driver claims she tried to bribe him into keeping quiet, and lied about being the driver at the time of the crash. Lindsay then said the brakes failed, even though they had been replaced two days before the crash. Police on the scene found a water bottle in Lindsay’s car with alcohol in it, but say she wasn’t drunk so she didn’t violate her probabtion even though she lied to them.

After the crash Lindsay was taken to the hospital, but she was discharged within hours. This was all avoidable since the movie she is working on has a contract with her that says she will not drive, and they send a car to drive her anywhere she wants to go just to make sure. That was only a few days ago.

Today paramedics rushed to her hotel only feet away from her movie set, because her assistant couldn’t wake her up. Good thing she wasn’t in a bathtub. Lindsay’s team immediately told the media she just overslept from exhaustion, which is surprising since no one else filming the movie had any problems, not even the guys hauling around all the heavy equipment. Sounds like a huge coincidence to me. You get better soon Lindsay. We all know how hard you are trying.

Hey guys, let’s all stop picking on Lindsay. This Angel doesn’t deserve our harsh words and phony ridicule!

I bet if you left her a trail of coke from her room to the set she’d make her way down … eventually.

At this point Lindsay is only credible play Bon Scott, Whitney Houston, or Tara Reid.

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Lindsay Lohan Teeth Rotting

lindsay lohan rotting teeth hollywoodgrind 1 Lindsay Lohan Teeth Rotting

In October it became obvious Lindsay Lohan (25) has rotting, chipped, and nicotine stained teeth. Since then she got veneers so her teeth look healthy on the surface, but she can’t fix her heavily nicotine stained finger nails. At least now she can get parts in horror movies at a bargain for the producers, since she doesn’t need any hair or makeup work to play a zombie. This also qualified her to play Liz Taylor when she got old.

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Lindsay Lohan Now on Informal Probation

lindsay lohan now on informal probation hollywoodgrind 1 Lindsay Lohan Now on Informal Probation

After years of being on formal probation, Lindsay Lohan is now on informal probation, which means she could still get locked up for violating the terms of her probation, but won’t, since everytime she violated her probation so far resulted in another chance to violate her probation, and now informal probation. Hey, don’t mock the system, it works, when the defendent is not rich or a celebrity. The California court system is like the world’s most passive parents, “You better not do that again! Unless you do, then you better not do it again after that time.” Wink wink.

Judge Sautner said Lindsay completed community service at the morgue, therapy and the shoplifter’s course, so her formal probation is now informal probation, and all Lindsay has to do is OBEY ALL LAWS for the next 2 1/2 years. Sautner said, “I know it’s kinda hard when people are following you all of the time, but that’s the life you chose.”

The only thing harder than not breaking the law when people are following you around all the time, is not breaking the law when NOBODY is following you around all the time. It’s like a slippery slope, you guys.

There was an uncomfortable moment when Lohan asked the judge if there were any laws against Booger Sugar.

Any bets on how many days it will take before Lindsay is in trouble again? I only hope she goes to Florida and breaks the law.

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