According to 24/Sizzler, K-Fed has forsaken The Hills for the sake of just one…One Tree Hill, that is.

Kevin Federline surprisingly passed on a seemingly lucrative offer from Brody Jenner this past weekend in Las Vegas: To have a cameo on The Hills! But Kevin’s not worried: He just landed a stint on the CW’s One Tree Hill!

On Sunday night at Rehab at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Brody and The Hills star Audrina Patridge were partying with their own group of friends, but at one point, they left their poolside cabana to mingle with Kevin’s posse. “Brody invited Kevin over to the Palms to make a cameo in The Hills,” a spy tells 24Sizzler.com. “Kevin declined the offer, though, deciding to stay at the Hard Rock.” (Kevin and Brody did bond though: Kevin lent Brody some of his pimp bling for him to pose in a few photos).

According to one Federline insider, Kevin, who’s in need of a gig, made the right decision: “With all the custody drama going on right now, and who’s a better parent, and who’s partying, I don’t think it’s the best idea for Kevin to get too involved with another group of Young Hollywood types who go out every night,” the source tells 24Sizzler.com.

I’m no agent, but I don’t think K-Fed should be turning down ANY roles these days. If Siegfried and Roy call him up and ask him to get down on all fours and growl like a lion, his only question should be "What time?" Kudos to him for passing on an opportunity to hit one more party, though. Do you hear that, Britney? That’s the seconds of the clock ticking away until the nice men in white coats come to take you away.

Britney Spears went to Las Vegas, which upset Kevin Federline because he says Britney can’t take the kids out of the state of California without written permission. While staying at Steve Wynn’s hotel/casino a photographer was taking pictures of Britney. Julio Camera, Britney’s bodyguard, shoved the photographer in the chest when the photog then accidentally bumped Sean Preston in the process of falling back. Camera then jumped on the photographer wrestling him to the ground, and started punching him in the face until Wynn security pull the bodyguard off. In the picture you can see the photog lost his shoe. Britney is alleging battery by the photog. The Las Vegas police issue the following statement:

"A second Incident Crime Report was also filed by Ms. Spears on behalf of her minor child. In that report it was alleged that prior to the above incident a second photographer, identified as Kyle Henderson, battered both Mr. Camera and Ms. Spears’ child , who was at that time being held by the security officer."

The body guard beat up a photog after shoving him into Sean Preston. Why doesn’t he file charges against the photog for assaulting his fist with his face, and property damage after ripping his pants while straddling the guy while he’s on the floor? The only person hurting those kids is Britney.

Britney Spears has fired her latest assistant after just three weeks on the job. Shannon Funk, the blond in the pictures, replaced Britney’s cousin Alli Sims, who bailed about a month ago. Shannon was let go because, it turns out, she was the reason for all of Britney’s problems. Turns out it was Shannon who stole almost 16,000 dollars worth of clothes from the OK! magazine shoot last week. Not according to OK! of course, who says Shannon only took one pair of shorts and one tank top. They say it was Britney who walked off with a thousand dollar pair of heels, a 750 dollar Vera Wang dress and a 6000 dollar ring, among other things. Life and Style says:

"Britney felt a lot of her recent troubles started and stopped with Shannon," an insider close to Britney tells Life & Style. “Britney thought she was talking badly about her. She was very rude and Britney felt she was letting business emails fall by the wayside.”

All the trouble Britney had in Las Vegas was after she fired her trouble making assistant, but this time it was the photog’s fault for using his face as a weapon. Before all this Britney was as pure as snow, as sweet as sugar, and as American as applie pie. If other people would just quit ruining Britney’s life she could go back to being a princess.

We can only tell that this is Lindsay Lohan and not Dina Lohan because we’ve seen other pictures of her in this dress. Which reminds us that we need to make a note, if you’re going to parade all over town, showing off the newest in scofflaw monitoring, you might want to think about shoes compatible with your anklet.

Is anyone else concerned about Firecrotch’s premature aging? She could easily pass for 35 and the "Coca-Cola" isn’t helping. You don’t really believe it’s just soda in that can, do you?

We know that the ankle bracelet is an alcohol-sensor thingee. But, c’mon, that thing is completely voluntary — a ploy conjured up to reassure the public and potential employers that Lindsay’s appearances at parties and whirlwind jaunts to Las Vegas in no way indicate that she isn’t serious about her sobriety.

She’s serious, see! She’s wearing an ankle bracelet!

Oh…you want to see the reports? Er…

Lindsay Lohan has turned herself into police, who arrested and booked her, then released her on $30,000 bail yesterday at about 4 pm. Her booking only took about an hour. Police will only say her blood alcohol level was above the legal 0.08, and had previously said she had both alcohol and cocaine in her blood that was taken at the hospital. Lohan’s lawyers are trying to keep things quiet, but once a plea deal is reached, or the trial is over the details will become public information.

In the picture above Lohan was heading to an AA meeting this past weekend, but she wasn’t wearing her alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet. No one was checking the ankle bracelet anyway, so Lohan ditched the bracelet and decided to just face the cops before they came to her movie set and arrested her down the road.

Then again Lohan’s movie career may finally be over. Have any of the movies she done as an adult actually made any money at all? NO. What Lohan will be losing is her $4.5 million fee per movie.

Lohan was supposed to start filming "Poor Things" with Shirley MacLaine when she was out of rehab. But last week, product vendors including GE and Dell computers, who had been promised placement in the movie in exchange for cash, got a disturbing e-mail from set designer Fontaine Beauchamp Hebb.

Hebb’s e-mail, with the subject line: " ’Poor Things’ has been cancelled," said, "Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news, but I just received a call from Jacky Gilardi, the producer, pulling the plug on the ill-fated film.

"Apparently, Ms. Lohan’s antics in Las Vegas over the weekend have scared the bond companies and all of the funding has been pulled . . . I look forward to working together in the future and trust our next project will not be as fraught with difficulty."

The insurers were said to worry that Lohan, despite wearing an alcohol-monitoring device around her ankle and claiming to take daily drug tests, had gone out clubbing with pals, which included Las Vegas. (Ironically, the plot of "Poor Things" involves two women who befriend and then murder homeless men to collect their life insurance, which is based on a true story.)

If Hollywood is really interested in making good movies they will stop hiring bad actors like Lohan, who they only hire to give them more publicity for their film, which according to revenue per Lohan’s film has never caused her movies to turn a profit. A drawn out, and very dramatic, made for television Lohan DUI trial would make more money in advertising than any of her movies combined.

Lohan would be hell to work with on the set. Stumbling around bumping into people, puking between lines, curling up and going to sleep on other movie sets, then waking up and saying “What’s everyone looking at, I told you I am nod drunk okay,” and pointing at the alocohol monitoring bracelet on her ankle that no one checks.

Next stop in Lohan’s career, the Lifetime channel, or better yet commercials. I’d love to hear Lohan say, “do you suffer from vaginal dryness?” Will this DUI ordeal drive her to drink (more) and do (more) drugs which will send her into another downowrd spiral and lead to eventual death? She’s gonna take the Anna Nicole Smith route, and overdose in some hotel room.

Page Six asks: Which hard-partying starlet has figured out a way to get high while wearing an alcohol-monitoring anklet? She was asking where she could score some Ecstasy at a Vegas club the other night.

Lindsay Lohan headed straight to Las Vegas to party after getting out of rehab. Her alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet doesn’t detect drugs like cocaine, which was reported to have been found in her blood after her DUI. Lindsay could do every other drug on the planet, except alcohol, and she’d still expect everyone to believe she’s clean and sober. Lindsay is a pig, and she loves to roll around in the mud.