Britney Spears seems to think that illusion can cover up a lack of effort in her performance, preparation, and attitude. That might be how corporate executives get by, but that doesn’t make the grade when you’re a pop star. Here’s more:

Britney Spears didn’t end up working with Criss Angel on her VMA comeback performance, but her stage show was certainly full of illusions. Her lip-syncing was meant to give her the appearance of an actual singer, and her spray-on tan was supposed to make it look like she’d spent hours in the gym (as opposed to the bar).

“She had an ab-defining spray tan preshow to create the illusion of more tone,” a source tells Us. Well, we know how that turned out.

I don’t know why no one suggested Britney use one of those six pack abs you get at the Halloween costume store. Plus a French maid outfit, an eye patch, and a plastic sword. She could have had a sword fight with all the dancers, and afterwards make them walk the plank. It was Las Vegas, and anything could happen, so you gotta think big.

Britney blew her chance to have a big comeback with the help of Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, when her ego grew too big. Timbaland says the collaboration with Britney would be:

"the best thing that ever happened" and would "help her out a whole lot." But he then dismissed the possibility, saying in so many words that Brit has become big-headed and had dissed him and Justin. "It’ll never happen. Nah. It could’ve, but it won’t."

Now Timbo has even more advice to give her about getting her career back on track. "She needs a story," he said. "She has no comeback story. That’s the problem. She has to have a team. She needs to come back with Justin doing records; [then we’d see headlines like,] ’She went back to her ex and she’s making smashes.’ [But instead she got] so big-headed and [was] like, ’Screw you, screw you, I don’t need nobody.’ "

So is there any chance for Spears to rectify the situation and possibly work with Timberlake and Timbaland? Yes, says the super-producer — if she apologizes.

"She should humble herself and make a phone call and say, ’I’m sorry.’ She knows what she’s sorry about," Tim said. "She needs to say, ’I was wrong,’ and it’ll definitely move forward. … That’s all she has to say."

More bad news for Britney. Her single Gimme More got on the Billboard Hot 100, but it is hanging at number 85. If this whole pop star thing doesn’t work for her anymore, Britney will probably start her own plus size fashion line. For women only.

Sunday night at the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas Britney Spears ran off stage yelling she looked like a fat pig, after seeing herself on overhead monitors during her performance. Here’s more:

“She was also able to see video of herself throughout the auditorium,” a backstage source tells Us Weekly. “She flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ She was inconsolable.”

I’m not going to dispute the facts, or argue against Britney’s accurate declaration that she "looked like a fat pig." She’s right. I’ve never seen an anorexic pig, so "fat pig" sounds accurate. Drinking 3 or 4 Starbucks Vente frappuccinos with extra heavy whipped cream, plus super-sized pizzas with extra cheese and grease, Cheetos, and more, doesn’t make a young lady look like a sexy goddess. Over the last few years has she not stepped on a scale or even looked in the mirror? When her manager arranged for a trainer, and brought in a whale trainer from SeaWorld, didn’t Britney suspect someone was trying to tell her something? On the plus side, as long as Britney is a fat pig, it will be harder to see her vagina past her inner thigh fat.

Check out Britney’s uncensored MTV VMA performance after the jump…

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When Tommy Lee was in Las Vegas at the MTV Video Music Awards he spent a lot of time with his hands all over Pamela Anderson, and other guys. Here he is kissing yet another guy, this time the unfortunate victim was Criss Angel, who is obviously not receptive to being date raped by Tommy. Bars usually throw sloppy drunks out before they start groping other guys. Tommy thinks he’s a magician because he can tell guys how much change they have in their pockets, but only after he’s had his hands in their pants. It’s no wonder Kid Rock kicked his butt at the VMAs.

On her way back to the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas last night, Britney Spears once again gave the world a crotch shot as she was getting out of the car. Sarah Silverman gave a realistic impression of Britney’s vagina right after her performance. I almost couldn’t tell them apart. Click the image below to see the NSFW Britney crotch shot.

Before the 2007 MTV VMA started Kanye West’s massive ego kicked into high gear. He started bad mouthing our beloved Britney Spears. He said:

"Honestly, I really don’t care," he told Us Saturday at Rolling Stone’s 40th Anniversary bash at Las Vegas’ Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. "I don’t give a f–k about Britney performing."

"I should have opened the MTV awards because ’Stronger’ is the number one album in the country," he said. "It just shows you that you have to do s–t to get ratings, and maybe they feel like they will get more ratings with Britney.

"Britney’s song isn’t as good as ’Stronger,’" he went on. "This is some bulls-t, and I don’t really care."

As the show was ending West grew even more angry. He threw a temper tantrum in front of the media and crew backstage saying he was "shut out" at the Video Music Awards. As he waited for an elevator in a crowded hallway West began yelling about losing all five categories he was nominated for. He said:

"That’s two years in a row, man … give a black man a chance," West said, stomping around his entourage and directing his comments at a reporter. "I’m trying hard man, I have the … number one record, man."

Then West said something that was music to my ears, "I will never return to MTV." This guy cries more than a kid being dropped off for his first day at daycare. Click here to see him throw a fit at the Europe MTV VMAs.