What do you do when your music career bombs, your wife would rather be bald, lonely and in rehab than spend another day as Mrs. White Trash and you’ve run out of sufficient healthy sperm to fertilize any more un-wedded women? You act, of course!

Having already appeared in CSI: Crime Scene Investigation last year, K-Fed has clearly found his ‘calling’ and has just signed on to appear along side Keanu Reeves, Hugh Laurie and Forest Whitaker in a "small but notable" role in the upcoming movie Night Watch, which is due for release next year. Reeves plays an alchy cop who is framed by his former mentor after the murder of a fellow LAPD officer.

Sounds riveting.

K-Fed will probably be playing himself. An in-bred low-life in jail for inhumane procreating.

Oh, and before I forget… in case you missed it here’s a mug shot of Kevin’s younger  brother Cameron who was jailed in April this year for underage drinking. Good luck and exceptional moral fibre must run in the family.

Keanu Reeves may be dating 22-year-old Mexican actress Martha Higareda, but that hasn’t motivated him to stop looking like a bum off the street. Yes he cut off his beard, yes he has on clean clothes, but does he own a comb? Reeves never looks happy. From every picture I see Reeves looks like he has some serious depression, and probably needs some professional help. He would be cured, of course, if he found his true love. Reeves has a broken heart that still hasn’t healed.

One unlucky paparazzo apparently got more of a close-up than he was bargaining for while trying to take pictures of Keanu Reeves Monday night.

The actor allegedly sideswiped a photographer standing in the path of his car as he maneuvered his Porsche out of a parking space around 7:30 p.m., police said. The accident occurred in Rancho Palos Verdes, about 30 miles south of downtown Los Angeles.

Authorities indicated that the photographer was perhaps not practicing the wisest traffic-safety tactics at the time of the collision. "The paparazzo was standing in the street in front of Mr. Reeves’ 1996 Porsche when he was grazed by the car," the Sheriff’s Department said in a statement Tuesday. "The man fell to the ground. Paramedics were summoned and treated the man at the scene. He was then transported via ambulance to a local hospital for further treatment." The extent of the unnamed shutterbug’s injuries was unknown.

Reeves, 42, was unharmed in the collision. It was not known how fast he was driving at the time of impact. No charges were filed, though police were continuing to investigate the incident.

Reeves isn’t the first celebrity to have a vehicular encounter with the paparazzi in recent weeks.

Last month, James Blunt allegedly ran over a photographer’s foot as he left a pre-Oscar party in Hollywood, an incident the singer’s rep attributed to overzealous photographers "invading his space."

Another ill-fated paparazzo wound up nursing a bruised knee in a New York hospital last week after a late-night run-in with Lindsay Lohan’s car outside the Hotel Gansevoort. The starlet blamed the collision on the photographer’s decision to leap onto her hood in the quest for a better camera angle, while the photog chalked the incident up to erratic driving on Lohan’s part.

As of Tuesday afternoon, Reeves had yet to weigh in with his version of the events leading up to his own accident.

On the professional front, Reeves will next be starring in The Night Watchman, as a corrupt cop who realizes he can no longer play by his own dirty rules. Production on the film is slated to begin in late April.

Most people who head down to Miami for Art Basel do it for the party scene, but not Keanu Reeves. At a "very low-key" party at the Delano the other night, Reeves was seen "wandering around alone and looking very sad." Spies said, "nobody at the party seemed to care that he was there." Eventually, Reeves, who is often seen wandering around Los Angeles with no shoes, "sat down at a dinner by himself and just sort of looked around. It was really bizarre."

In New York City restaurant Monday, Keanu Reeves got himself a cup of coffee to go. What is happening to him? Reeves looks like a homeless bum. This is what happens when you can’t find the love of your life, and that’s all you ever wanted.